At my absolute wits end

[wetrainday]

I am desperate for some advice as to what I can do.....I am reaching my absolute wits end and for another night I am sitting here with tears streaming down my face.
Little one, 10 months old, has always always been a shocking sleeper. He has never, ever slept more than three hours in a row and even that has only happened a handful of times. Two hours is a good stint for him and in fact anything over an hour now is considered good.
He has had a spate of illnesses and now just will not settle without BFing. Screams, shouts, throws himself around and pushes us away. Tried white noise. Soothing sounds etc etc but he just wants to be breastfed. We are desperately trying to night wean him and have been giving formula too but it's just not working. I am back at work and trying to master a new job on basically a year of no sleep and now it's even worse! Three hours broken sleep a night is my norm at the moment. I am totally cracking up, I feel dizzy at work I'm so tired. Since him being ill I stepped up the feeds again as he needed the fluid and wouldn't take anything else so now trying to phase out again, but it's even worse! He will not go down in the cot.
I can't co-sleep, I would not sleep. I can't do CIO, it's just not for me.
Shall I just go cold turkey and totally stop Bfeeidng him from
Tkmorrow and get my husband to feed him the bottle. We never had this battle with my
First, he let himself be weaned.
My husband is amazing at helping but this is totally breaking us.
Any ideas at all? Something has to give but I don't know what.....I feel totally jhelpless
And ill
Thank you for reading my
Rambles x

At the minute he's lying on the bed asleep next
To me whilst I watch TV to stay awake.
We've already had 6 get ups
And feeds
And it's only 9.30 😱

We used Lucy Wolfe book for my second DC who needed night weaned and didn't go down well.

It totally worked for us and she is probably one of the best sleepers in the house.

There is a bit of crying but it's fairly gentle but any change will upset them in the short term.

Best of luck

Do you want to stop breastfeeding entirely?
Have you tried co sleeping it is it the idea that puts you off?not trying to be goady just honest questions.

I’ve been there know how soul destroying it is

And just to add it probably helped me breastfeed for longer

My 10 month old was a fairly rubbish sleeper too, although not as bad as yours. I breastfeed also.
I stopped feeding to sleep and put her in her cot & returned to her after 2,4,4 mins. Yes, there was a bit of crying but not as much as I'd imagined. And by night 3 things were much better.
She now falls asleep by herself for naps & at night. I feed at 11 and then not before 5. If she wakes before 5 I give her a quick cuddle then back in the cot.
It's saved my sanity

Thank you for replying @Cleverpolly3 ....I have finished BFing in the day because I couldn't go to work like that, it became too painful. I was going to
Get to a year, or beyond, with just the evening/put to bed feed, like I did with my first, but I don't think he'll let it happen, so thinking maybe cold turkey might be better? Or a really bad idea? At this stage I just don't know.
Co-seeping, I am far
Far too worried to even try it. I just would not sleep for fear of rolling on him. I am far too tired and delirious to try it. I know what I am like and it just would not work, not until he's older, inworry too much about him

@Charbead49, thank you for replying, I will give this a look up.....we have to do something!
How long did it take??? I don't like the idea of crying but he's getting hysterical at the moment anyway if he can't instantly have boob, all the time.

Have you ruled out reflux? Might be worth considering this - sounds as though he might be sore lying down?

Please don’t go cold Turkey, it will end up being really traumatic for you all. He is only little.

I know how exhausted you are though - I have been there and it wasn’t until reflux was diagnosed that we finally got a full nights sleep.

Also to add - we used the Elizabeth Pantley pull off method to encourage DD1 and 2 to self sooth when they woke up - worked so well. But required perseverance.

In the meantime can you sleep at other times - I know it’s not ideal but even a couple of times per week?

I personally don’t think this is specifically related to breastfeeding

Highly recommend the Lucy Wolfe book ! X

OP, we used a sleep consultant for some gentle sleep training. It wasn’t a miracle fix and took a while as I wasn’t prepared to do CIO but made a big difference just to have a plan and someone to tell you what to do. By 18 months she slept through. I can share the details if you like, it was all done virtually.

Personally I would advocate controlled crying, with interval checks. Yes, there might be some crying. But it sounds like your little one is crying anyway plus not getting enough sleep, and that's without considering the impact on you. In my experience it works quickly and well, and we were all better for it.

I have no useful advice but sorry your going through this and hope you get the help you need x

Have you come across Sarah Ockwell-Smith? I really like her as dhe advocates gentle ways to improve sleep. In her book she says 8-10 months is the time for the worst sleep regression due to separation anxiety. Sounds like your litte one is trying to reconnect with you at night? We're just getting to this phase too but I'm not back at work yet thankfully. She has tips on how to cope with it and also how to night wean gently. She also says sleep starts to massively improve at 11 months.

See her blog post on the regression - sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/11/18/what-the-heck-goes-wrong-sleep-wise-at-8-10-months/amp/

At 10 months I'd just go cold turkey and get baby's Dad to do all of the night wakes and bedtime for a couple of weeks.