5yo not going to bed - please help

[Move2WY]

Hi, our 5yo has gone from being a great sleeper, going to sleep alone by himself since a baby practically. However, about 8 weeks ago he has started running out his room and around the house. I have tried sitting inside his room with him, blocking the door but he throws his toys at me. I have tried shutting the door on him (I hate this) but he slams the door, screams fakely (like he’s pretending he’s hurt/scared) and then laughs maniacally when I open the door and runs around the house. We’ve tried just leaving him to run around the house but he throws things and hits us and does everything to get attention- we usually ignore bad behaviour but hitting is not one of them so he knows he will get a reaction.

He disturbs his 7yo sister who is going to sleep.

Eventually he burns out, and at 9pm he will fall asleep.

Have tried earlier bedtime, later bedtime, calmer routines, 1-3 books, baths before bed, we even let him have 10 minutes on his kindle if he behaved (this technique worked for about 5 days).

He just seems to go crazy, like he’s exhausted and manic. He hits me hard and then immediately apologises and gives cuddles and then legs it round the house again.

Please someone tell me this has happened to you and you figured it out.

We are losing it here.my husband (his dad) share the load here so when one is cracking the other takes over but it’s just utterly anxiety inducing stress for all 3 of us.

What's his diet like? My DD does this if she has any sugar after lunch.

What is his bedtime routine? Has it coincided with going back to school?

Has he recently started school?

He sounds overwhelmed and over stimulated. I would try taking his routine right back to early toddler stage - I feel for you all, it's horribly draining.

Sorry for the stress. Not sounding judgmental but I am struggling to understand how this is coming from a 5 year. Does he have any special needs? Is his behaviour ok during the day and only at bed time?

We need a little more context on needs (if any) and how his behaviour is during the day to give reasonable advice.

Thank you PepperPepperMan. This is my thoughts and I will probably try this next. It actually started in the last 2 weeks of school, and has been going on during the summer holidays.

His diet is really good. I don’t think this is an issue. We don’t give sweets during the week and we are strict on what they are. Only drinks water or sugar free orange cordial, or smoothies.

His behaviour is typical for a 5 yo, he can be challenging with his sister at times - sibling rivalry really, but nothing that requires more than a good talking to. He has no special needs at all and the reason I am reaching out on here is because its out of character and we have never experienced anything like this at all. We just don’t know how to deal with it and we don’t think we’re handling it the best!

Hellocatshome Bedtime routine starts about 7 - PJs, brush teeth, read a couple of stories, say our good nights and then tucked in.

It’s immediately after reading the last book that he legs it. He thinks its a game almost but then he just seems to take it too far.

Reward chart for staying in bed? Get his sister one too so he sees what happens if he does it consistently. Music or stories playing as he falls asleep?

To be honest, DD (3) did this for weeks and in the end the only thing that worked was me bursting into tears because I couldn't cope any more (solo parent!) and her being upset that she'd made me cry - she's not done it since!

Does it make a difference how much exercise he has? I'd imagine his brain is just working through all the excitement of the day, could he process it by having a good walk or run after school or going on a trampoline or something, then long wind down with lots of stories?

DD is sometimes like this at bedtime but calms down if I start telling her a story.

Has he been having nightmares?

Has something happened to him that he has not told you about yet?

Is he testing your boundaries[is he doing so during the day as well]

What would happen if you lay on the bed with him?[not that I would recommend it as a long term strategy]

Good advice peacegreen. I could easily cry. My husband has in frustration a couple of times so Ive quickly taken over. Perhaps we shouldn’t be so quick to hide that side from him!

I have been laying on the bed the last 4 weeks but thats after an hour or 2 of battling with him and when I know he’s exhausted himself. Tonight, I read him the books and he laid down I laid next to him and then he said he needed the toilet and ran off and refused to get back in bed afterwards. He didn’t need the toilet.

Smoothies are full of sugar, I would maybe cut them out, I dont think it will magically solve bed time though.

@lightand

Has he been having nightmares?

Has something happened to him that he has not told you about yet?

No nightmares. Obviously won’t know the answer to the second question, but I don’t think so. He’s not really left our sight since pandemic began. Maybe something at school, but then this has been happening throughout the school 6 weeks break mostly!

@Hellocatshome he doesn’t have them every day maybe 2 times a week. I don’t think they are the problem here. But thank you.

@CheekyAFAIK I think I might introduce a daily walk after dinner. See if it winds him down.

He is testing your boundaries, isnt he.

Yes he is @lightand I suppose we just have to stick to our guns then!

My son started doing similar earlier this year - not running around as such generally mucking about, playing with things and taking hours to actually get in to bed. In the end I just made it a strict rule - once he'd got his pyjamas on he was to stay in bed. If he didn't, he lost access to his favourite thing for the next day (in his case, his ipad). And we stuck to it. One warning and then it goes. He very quickly stopped.

@Anothermuddywalk during tonights antics I have told him he’s not allowed his kindle tomorrow. I am absolutely going tk have to stick to this however much I might regret it tomorrow. I will let you know if losing this treasured item works!

I used to do "crazy time" with my DD. If she had energy to expend she could do it then and we would bounce around and lark about before bed. I'd ask her every night if she wanted crazy time and after a while she grew out of it and settled without much fuss.

@wincarwoo I love that idea. Thank you