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4 month old crying every nap time

7 replies

BeeM1993 · 04/09/2021 09:41

DS is 4 months (5 months in a week) and has always fought his sleep but for the last few weeks every time I try and put him in his cot for a nap he screams until I pick him up. When we are home he has always had his naps in his Moses basket/cot with me sat next to him, I pat him until he is asleep (working on doing this until nearly asleep). I’m very vigilant with his awake windows as soon as he starts showing tired signs I take him upstairs, blackout curtains, white noise, into cot awake and pat until asleep. His awake windows are currently 1.5 hours. I’m not sure where I’m going wrong? I’m aware as he is getting older his awake windows are going to lengthen but he is still showing tired signs after about 1hr 20mins with DS that’s mainly just getting grizzly, doesn’t yawn or rub his eyes or any other signs. I can’t stand hearing him cry but I don’t want to keep holding him for naps as he hasn’t done this before. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Mangosmoothiesprinkles · 04/09/2021 09:47

Google chiropractors that see babies In your area. You’d be amazed at the difference it can make.

FATEdestiny · 04/09/2021 09:57

Wake Windows don't automatically lengthen. It's more likely they will shorten at this developmental stage.

Your main issue though is that baby needs more help to feel comforted to go to sleep - just patting isn't cutting it (evidentally).

You could add in dummy sucking alongside patting - Sucking is nature's way to sooth baby.

Or you could add in movement. Either rocking in your arms while patting. Or, more independent sleep focused would be to move naps from a stationary cot to something that moves - bouncy chair, rocker, pram etc.

I'd maintain a dummy alongside the movement - it's the easiest no crying sleep aid because it's impossible to cry while sucking.

BeeM1993 · 04/09/2021 10:25

Thank you for your advice, he used to take a dummy but since this phase started he has refused to take one. I’ve tried several different ones, tapping it while in his mouth, it just seems to make the situation worse.

If I stand up and rock him that settles him better but should I be worried about forming bad habits? Or once this phase is over will he go back to liking his cot again? As I say he always went to sleep in his cot so I don’t know what has changed!

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BeeM1993 · 04/09/2021 10:26

Thank you for responded so quickly it’s very much appreciated!

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BeeM1993 · 04/09/2021 10:26

*responding

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FATEdestiny · 05/09/2021 12:27

If I stand up and rock him that settles him better but should I be worried about forming bad habits?

Yes. There are gentle routes to wean off this though, if you are careful about it. The added "rod for your back" of rocking in your arms is that you're weaning off physical closeness to you as a comfort mechanism, as well as movement. That's why I suggested naps in something that moves (bouncy chair for example) - easier to wean off.

Or once this phase is over will he go back to liking his cot again? As I say he always went to sleep in his cot so I don’t know what has changed!

That is a big answer. I'll do my best to condense it for you.

At around 14 weeks (after the fourth trimester ends) baby's sleep changes very significantly, and permanently. Through the fourth trimester baby's sleep is womb-like. By that it means that as long as all needs are met, baby's passive state is to be asleep. So this is exemplified by the fact that baby just wakes if hungry, and uncomfortable (nappy change, in pain etc) and as long as these needs are met baby will be asleep.

At around 3-4 months (it's called the 4 month sleep regression) sleep changes in a permanent way, it will never go back to being passive as it was previous to this.

Sleep is now an active endeavour. It takes work to get to sleep and work to stay asleep. Sleep develops into cycles of light sleep and deep sleep - meaning that babies have to learn from scratch how to resettle back into a deep sleep. Again, this is active and needs work.

Until baby has the physical ability to control their limbs and thoughts in such a way to self-sooth, the soothing is facilitated by the parent. Then over time baby (hopefully) learns to do the soothing without help.

The dummy is the simplest no-tears self-soothing tool. I'd suggest you keep it's use consistently.

BeeM1993 · 05/09/2021 16:46

Thank you for your in depth answer Smile

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