GF CLB new born 2 1/2 weeks - waking 5am

[agaazaa]

Been using GF since birth - blackout curtains, formula fed, all great until 2 nights ago. DD woke at 2 and 5. Tried GF stretching out 10.30 feed until 11.15pm. but she still wakes at 2 and 5. Have a battle to wake her at 7 to stick to routine. How do I drop 5am?

DD only 2 1/2 weeks old, but don't want to start bad habits.

Hi Agaazaa,

Is this your first child ?

PLEASE.... I am bit of a GF expert here.... at 2 1/2 weeks your baby can wake twice in the night ! It's a bit early for bad habits. I suggest that you relax about this until she is AT LEAST a whole, week older. The routine can start at 2 weeks but your DD is a bit young to be forced into it... if she sticks to it easily during the day, it WILL fall into place during the night.
If anything make sure she eats plenty during the day.

P.S. I am sure it's questions like this that make some people hate GF....

Hi Pupuce- yes it is!

Hi agaazaa, Hope things get better for you and do agree with Pupuce that it's very early days...
Good luck with settling your dd into the routine over the next weeks and months.

hi agaazaa

congratulations on your new baby! i'm sure you're exhausted and would give anything for more sleep.

like pupuce, i've also used gf successfully.

even gf herself allows for the pattern of behaviour you're describing at 2 1/2 weeks! don't worry, your baby sounds perfectly normal and it is really far too early to be worrying about bad habits - honest

please, please try to relax a bit for the next couple of weeks. i know it's easier said than done and gf's structured approach can make it easier to know what to do when you are walking around like an automaton from lack of sleep in a totally unfamiliar and rather scary situation. but please approach it with your critical faculties engaged - your dd hasn't read it and may have other ideas about when she'd like to be fed, especially as she's still so very young

i know it doesn't seem like it now, but your baby will be sleeping longer before you know it - really.

good luck - it really will get easier!

PS - the book's supposed to help you, if it's becoming a burden and a stress, throw it away!

Hi agaazaa, I totally agree with pupuce.

I am a GF mum and it worked for me. I started it at 9 weeks and by the time DS was 12 weeks he was in routine and all was sweet.

I am now pregnant with No 2 and I have already decided I will do GF again - but will NOT attempt to impose a routine before 4/6 weeks. Your baby is too young to develop bad habits and your mental health is too important for you to get uptight about it at this early stage ...

Please don't worry about it ... as pupuce says, if you manage to keep to it enough during the day, the nights will fall into place.

Dear All

No this is my second baby. First DS is almost 3, and he was waking every 2 hours to be fed (breastfed) so that is why I am following her routine to the minute.

I had tears this morning with my husband as he said the routine (GF) is clearly not working, and he let her sleep at one point when she was meant to be awake. Not the end of the world, but this morning I felt like it was.

Anyhow, I am just annoyed as the first 2 weeks she only woke at 2.30 or 3am and now I am having this additional wake up, for the 2nd night running. And I got into so many bad habits with our son, who is still waking, that I am determined to stick to the GF routine. I know my life would be so much worse without it.

Has anyone else not had a routine for one baby and tried GF and thought it is the best thing? I do think it is the best thing, I need this routine to tell me when to rest and eat. It also works well with another child in the house.

Will let you know how tonight goes. should I be bulking up those day feeds yet? Although I think she is struggling at times to finish a bottle, so I don't want to over feed?

I suppose it's a question of being realistic about the stage dd is at, agaazaa... I can see why you're anxious to try a different approach if you've had real problems with ds's sleeping but I do think your husband has a point in that it's maybe unrealistic to expect such a young baby to fall immediately into the routines, and necessary to take your cue from dd while gently encouraging her to start to follow the routines if that's what will make her and the family happy. Personally I'd be very careful about thickening feeds etc. Have you spoken to your health visitor about whether that would be ok?

agaazaa, agree with everyone. Never tried GF myself but 2 1/2 weeks is v. young. Good luck with getting some sleep. Pupuce, yes about the question!

ah, i see. ok. however, i still think 2 1/2 weeks is too young to worry about bad habits - agree with scummy that it is a question of being realistic...

gf herself allows for the fact that babies are likely to wake early at this stage. have a look again and you will see there is some guidance on what to do in this instance - iirc she advises that you give a smallish feed, then a full feed later at 7.30am. do have a look again, even gf herself acknowledges that what you are experiencing is perfectly normal for a baby this age.

whatever parenting approach you choose, it's obviously important that you and dh agree on what is best. since your dd is formula fed, of course there's absolutely no reason why he shouldn't get up and do one of these night feeds, so you can get a bit more sleep at night.

don't know what you mean by bulking up the feeds? if you mean thickening with extra formula, please don't! this is not advised and i understand it can be harmful.

so sorry to hear you were so upset this morning. if you were a first time mother, i would say, just chuck the book away, once you are in tears over the routines, things have definitely gone too far! however, the issue here seems to be the fear of a repetition of what happened with your ds. could you talk to someone about this, say your GP or an HV? or maybe other friends with children?

i would still urge you to try not to worry about this for the moment. as you see from ghosty's note, it is possible to introduce the routines later with satisfactory results. it does sound as if they have become more of a burden than a help.

best of luck, agaazaa, and hope things are looking better for you soon.

Dear All

These comments are really helpful, and really encouraging. By bulking feeds I meant increase the oz, not thickening. No, I am aware of the dangers. I don't want to harm baby just get her to like her little routine and sleep for me. I tend to get sleep during the day too, that is the best bit in the GF CLB book as DS gets a nap too.

Cannot really ask DH to help in night, he has to get up early and is home late. He does help me at w/e, and bath times and virtually gives me a complete break at w/e.

I will continue on with GF as my guide for moment. I still believe this is a thousand times better than it was years ago with DS and no routine.

agaazaa - I simply cannot understand why you are worried that a new baby is not sleeping through the night I would have thought it impossible for a new baby to get into a routine yet. My ds has been in a GF routine since about 10 weeks she is great through the day sticking to the routine but has never slept through the night, infact the best we have had is her waking twice, in the early days she woke up to 6 times so when I read yours is waking 2 times I am truely jealous!! Hate to put a downer on things but some babies just don't like to sleep, I have one of them! There is nothing about your baby following the routine and not sleeping in the book and you can get too hung up on the GF way of things, I have thrown the book away so to speak and am just going with the flow, she still fits into the routine in the day but cannot get her to sleep well at night, Best of luck I hope you do better than I did.

agaazaa - I also had dd on GF from very young, but never worried about the odd additional waking or even the odd late morning. My big panic came at three weeks when she simply would not wake up when she was supposed to. Turns out that sometimes babies simply need more sleep/food.

GF does not have to be followed to the letter (although even she says not to worry about night wakings early on). Although we're having a bit of trouble at the moment after moving house, dd has been very happy on a very rough routine along the lines of GF (wakes 8.30-9.30, has naps at roughly the gaps GF suggests, goes to bed at 9-9.30).

HTH

PS she slept though the night first time at 11 weeks - this is normal/early as far as I can gather.

Just to reiterate what the other have said. My dd woke up around 4-5am on the Gf routine well into 3 months old. I just followed the advice for the half feed plus a top up at 7.30am and she eventually dropped it of her own accord. Do please look at the bit at the end of the 2-4 week routine on if your baby wakes at such and such a time.

You're doing really well.

Julie

PS I hid the fact I was doing GF from my dh until I had established the routine as I was so afraid of criticism.

I am so upset by this thread I am close to tears!! Sorry from what i have heard this book is leading parents to do I don't like it one bit. I will be reading it soon but from a library, I don't wish to line GF's pockets! It seems to me that it ruins your 1st precious weeks with your baby!! I have a 3 yr old and a 7 week old who sleep 10 hours!! I do what he wants when he wants it. I never let him cry for a feed, in fact I can count the times he has cried in his life on 1 hand. He is boss, he knows what he wants and when i give it to him. In my HV's words he is the most "contented" baby she has met! If a baby is tired let it sleep! Imagine how upset you'd be if someone woke you up cos a book said so!! Just go with the flow! I have 2 very happy healthy children because i follow my instincts!

Tracy

PS i don't mean to offend! It just upsets me. Just go and enjoy your babies!

imagine how upset you'd be if you came to this website for help and you got a big slap. imagine how upset you'd be if you'd had experiences with your previous child which had made you desparate to avoid the same thing happening again.

in response to pupuce's ps - yes it is - but surely we've got to read between the lines and see what is really at the heart of certain requests for help.

as soon as i pressed post message, i regretted that. will stay away from this thread from now on.

bossykate don't worry. It is good to have a mix of opinions. You did not say anything offensive .Everyone's view counts.
I am such a non expert on sleep I am off to start another thread!

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease everyone let's not start another GF/non GF debate, I couldn't bear the stress! Tracyhay, welcome, do look at the heated debates on the subject elsewhere on this site. We're all entitled to our (often very different) opinions but trust me, you might not want to go there! bossykate, not offended here, don't worry!

Again I am sorry if i offend anyone, it just upsets me as this should be a happy time for a mum, instead of worrying about her baby not doing what a nanny has decided babies should do. I just follow my instincts as do babies. If they are hungry at 5, than they are! They cannot be spoilt, thay have no concept of greed yet! All i do with my 7 week old who sleeps 9pm til 7am is feed him (breastfed and nothing else) when he wants it. He only has a tiny tummy so needs refilling often, but because i meet all his needs in the day, he sleeps at night. Maybe this book works for some, it just worries me that people are treating it as if it was the law.

Tracy

posted at the same time there!
I gather there is a bit of controversy about the GF book then! It worries me about this routine thing because when I had my 1st son i did as I was told, things that I know I wrong for me and i am now quite upset by. For example Tyler was given a dummy within hours of me giving birth and was told to give up feeding at 5 months, i was just 20 i didn't know any better. I was also told to not feed too much as i'd give him colic! I now know that not feeding enough will give baby tummy ache as s/he will not get enough of the rich milk that comes in later on in a feed. I now do what i want and it works!
That's all i'm saying about this from now on!! I'll shut up now!
I'm Tracy from Essex (don't lol) by the way, I'm 23 and mum to Tyler 3, and Dillon 7 weeks. I'm also a clothy and a member of my local MSLC (maternity services liason committee) and now need my bed!!

Tracy
xx
Wishing you all sleep!

Julie F - want to hear more about your GF routine...

I think that the criticism from DH was the reason behind the tears. Albeit for about 10 seconds. I just feel so much more in control this time, you know? I am getting (broken) but up to 8 hours a night. Before DD was born I was up at the loo about 4 times per night and was more tired than I was now.

I didn't have PND last time, and don't feel it is a contender at the moment, but I was exhausted and unhappy.

As for people suggesting with the GF method the baby is left crying? well mine isn't, I often have the prob of not being able to wake her at 10.30pm and the 7am feeds.

Bossykate come back!! I just want to check there are people out there trying GF too. and hoe=w do you do those little face things?

aggazza - my dd who is now 14 weeks, and has always been on the GF routine (slightly adapted as she seemed sleepier than the book allowed for), suddenly went through a stage of waking at 2ish and 5ish at about 6 weeks, it lasted about 2 weeks and then went away. I followed GF's advice about a "split feed". It is very difficult, and I like you found the book really helpful and wanted very much for dd to follow it pretty much exactly as it suits her so well in the day.

I have to say that dd is still waking once in the night (anywhere between 4 and 6), and I am not sure how to stop this, if I should at all, as other GF babies seem to sleep by themselves.

Perhaps reducing the minutes on the breast, or cc?

Does anyone have any ideas?

agaazaa
My dd did GF perfectly with one waking in the night until she was two weeks. Then she seemed to wake up! Apparently this is quite common, esp in c-section babies. Two wakings at this stage is completely normal, make sure you follow the routines during the day - especially feeding- and your dd will soon stop waking twice. Even GF (miracle worker though she is) cannot give you a baby who sleeps through at this stage. My dd started waking once at about 6 weeks, and then slept through at 8 (for 2 days), then we had a further period of one early morning (4-6pm) waking until she did 11-7 at about 10 weeks.
If dh has to get up early anyway could he not get up a little earlier and do the 5 am? Or he can do the 10.30 and you can go to bed after the 7pm - this really worked for me. I know it is difficult to ask (I always felt like I was asking too much from dh when he was back at work) but your "job" is just as tiring.

I'm amazed at the following this GF person has? She must have popped up in recent years, I don't remember any mention of her when mine were babies, admittedly nearly 6 years ago.
One thing I have learned having had three children, two of which are double trouble ie Twins; you can read all the books you like and you might be able to sort out a routine or sleep pattern or whatever, but at the end of the day, you have to do whatever suits you and your baby/child best.
When the twins were babies my dh and I could be up several times in the night and some nights with teething I was lucky to get an hours' sleep. I wonder what GF would say about that, I certainly wouldn't have left them crying and alone, and I have survived sleep deprivation even though the twins didn't sleep through until nearly a year when their daddy came home from working away!!!!!!!!
Best thing to do I say is relax, parenting is the hardest job in the world and I can't say it gets easier when they get older but it changes and they soon grow up, so make the most of the early days.
One of the worse things about having two babies, is that I couldn't enjoy it. I had a 2 1/2 year toddler and would love to have had more time to enjoy them rather than try to tend to their needs all the time.