Does anyone else have absolutely no way of getting their baby to sleep apart from feeding?

[SpicyJalfrezi]

Or the car, which isn’t very practical.

To be fair, this doesn’t happen very often, but it’s a nightmare when it does. Woke at 6, so overdue a nap. Had a feed, but wasn’t quite asleep by the end of it and now is sitting chuckling at me

I’ll have to wait at least 90 minutes before he’ll accept another feed now, in the meantime getting increasingly cranky and angry And I really need him to sleep so I can sleep myself!

How old is he?

Would a dummy help?

Thanks. He’s eight and a half months. Dummies aren’t massively helpful as he has a tendency to pull them out!

Are you open to any kind of sleep training? I don’t mean cry it out.

I just don’t see how it would work. I bought Lucy Wolfe after a nightmare few nights about a month ago and just couldn’t seem to get to grips with it.

Same here. My second. 10 months. He feeds to sleep or bottle in the pram, or car. To be honest I don’t care because it works for us. I did (gentle) sleep training with my first but it was stressful and I got a LOT less sleep. Sitting by the cot at night trying to settle them, early wakes… Cosleeping with my second I get more sleep than with my first even when he ‘slept through’ in his own room

Do you have a DH/DP? At 8.5 months, I still fed to sleep initially at bedtime, then DP did night wake ups for a few nights. He offered no milk obviously (ebf), sippy cup of water only, rocking and cuddling to sleep. A few nights of that seemed to break the pattern and led to fewer night wake ups, I was also then able to stop only feeding to sleep in the first place at bedtime as first he could and (eventually) I could without feeding. The Mumsnet phrase about every habit taking 3 days to break is sort of true... But it always feels like a long time when you're trying it though.

I've just reread and seen you mean during the day! Ours napped best in the pram.

He’s started being difficult at night as well!

Do you cosleep for nights and daytime naps?

No!

I got a baby bjorn bouncer and played white noise and bounced it with my foot like a crazy person with my son facing me but I didn’t engage with him. I bounced and bounced and he used to fight it but then quickly give in. It was the best piece of baby equipment I had as my son would not go to sleep without movement or milk. I drive myself mad with sleep ideas and always feeling like a failure but each child is different and he’s now 11 and can fall asleep…he still likes white noise though!

@SpicyJalfrezi

No!

Why not, given you are feeding to sleep?

You are your child's sole source of comfort to sleep. You'll all get more sleep if that comfort is avaliable at all times during sleep.

If you are attachment parenting for going to sleep, but then expecting an independent sleep outcome - that's the root of the problem. Unrealistic expectations.

@FATEdestiny, to be honest I’m just going with whatever works.

Co sleeping doesn’t. He doesn’t sleep, I don’t sleep, we wake one another, it’s uncomfortable and it’s unpleasant.

I’m feeling a bit low about it, as if I’ve done something badly wrong, as his sleep just seems to keep getting worse not better.

You haven't done anything wrong. There is nothing wrong with feeding to sleep. But it will help to appreciate that your breasts as comfort is all baby knows. So life will be less stressful (and you can feel less down about it) if, either,

• You just accept that breasts are baby's only comfort and go with it. Find ways to make open access to comfort sucking the breast easier for you. Make cosleeping work for you - buy a bigger bed. Move to a floor bed. Sidecar cot/bed. There are many ways to make the experience more pleasant.

Or

• accept that if you want/need baby to sleep independently then stopping feeding to sleep is necessary and that any alternate will cause tears and distress... in the short term tho. Then find a sleep training method that you find acceptable, grit your teeth, bite the bullet and just do it.

Ah - he isn’t breastfed.

I wish I could find a sleep training method that worked! He’s napping now, he woke and rolled over and went back to sleep, so he can do it. Just not at night.

Ah - my incorrect assumption there.

If bottle feeding to sleep, dummy will be your answer. Just get used to holding baby's hands in yours as going to sleep, to stop it bring pulled out. Then shift feeds to as baby wakes up, rather than as baby goes to sleep (in the daytime).