Should I shorten my toddlers day time nap?

[RubyRed401]

Hello!!
Just looking for some advice please
My 21 month old doesn’t sleep well at night at all.
She usually has 2 hours nap in the day from about 12.30-2.30.
I’ve heard that sleep breeds sleep and I was very much a believer of this with my first.
However, the nights are so desperate now, I’m trying so many different things and clutching at straws - will it help if I cut my child’s nap down to say 1 hour? She really goes into a deep sleep when she has her daytime naps but if it means she will sleep better at night, I’ll try it!
She normally wakes up in the night ( after settling fine) for 3-4 hours. Usually after midnight. Banging her head on the cot. She’s literally wide awake.
I try wear her out in the day, lots of fresh air. But there seems to be no pattern to it. Apologies, I have posted a few time previously but I’m getting desperate!!
Thank you in advance xxx

Goodness that sounds tough. DS didn't wake in the night after 6 m. But would only ever do 10-11 hrs at night. Controversial but I stopped putting him down to sleep in the day time at 18m ish he'd just have a 45mins-1hr nap in the buggy. Meant he went down more like 7:30-6:30. So it can be done, I took a packed lunch everywhere.

Try cutting down 1/2 at a time rather than an hour.

Hi! Thank you for replying
That’s really interesting
So it definitely does work for some children, having a shorter nap doesn’t it.
I’m glad your little one slept well!
Do you think it helped because he was going out in his buggy a lot, as in did he get lots of outside time / fresh air?
I think I need to try go out more with my little one x

Starlightstarbright1 Thank you, so I will try 1 hour 30 at first I think xx or at least aim for that x

Yes but I went to toddler groups/swimming every morning then lunch in buggy and then met friends/ park in the afternoon, I had Sure start, loads of local friends, a tiny house and no pandemic. Had a I had a huge house and Covid to deal with who knows what I would have done.

Yes, cutting their nap to an hour works.

I tried so many things before I cut (and eventually dropped) DD's nap. Nothing worked! Some kids just don't need much sleep. I would definitely reduce the nap little by little.

My DD is a total nightmare for waking in the night for hours if she has too much day sleep. I always limit her naps. It feels horrible but she sleeps through like a dream when I do, and if I let her go to long she’s a terror, so it’s best for both of us this way. She’s 18m and doesn’t have more than an hour in the day, unless she’s woken really early (unusual for her) or she’s unwell.

Thank you for all your comments!
Babouchette, did you find when you cut / dropped the nap, your little one then slept better at night? X

Yes, that was the only thing that worked! You do have to go slowly though. We took 15 mins off a time over a period of several months. We dropped the nap completely when she was 2 1/2. She still only sleeps 8.30-7.

I tried so many things before I cut (and eventually dropped) DD's nap. Nothing worked! Some kids just don't need much sleep. I would definitely reduce the nap little by little

Yes often the super bright developmentally advanced children.

Hi all, I'm not sure if I'm in the right group or if anyone can give me advice on my 21 month old son. He's never been a great sleeper but since he was about 12 months it's been terrible waking crying every hour or so. my partner works full time and I'm part time so we are both exhausted. I've put him in bed with me now because I was sick of getting up all the time. I've tried night lights, pillow spray, earlier bedtime, later bedtimes, no naps or split naps, long naps, controlled crying, extra food etc. I'm now lost I just need a good night sleep. He's so energetic all day even though he wakes so much at night. He's always sleep between 7 and 8pm and wake around 6.30 to 7.30am but its every hour or so then just crys and then back to sleep once he knows I'm there but then I'm awake then again. Does Anyone have advice please the gp basically said he will grow out of it. Sorry for putting post here I'm not sure how to start a new one x

@traumatisednoodle

I tried so many things before I cut (and eventually dropped) DD's nap. Nothing worked! Some kids just don't need much sleep. I would definitely reduce the nap little by little

Yes often the super bright developmentally advanced children.

I hadn't heard that before but I will willingly latch on to that as a silver lining!

Mine gave up napping herself at 20 months (by just announcing one day ‘no sleep mummy, not nighttime’), but in the run up to this she’d started staying awake until 10pm, then getting up again for the day at 6am as usual. Once she dropped the nap she went right back to normal bedtime and has been good about it ever since.

Quite right that some children, like adults, need less sleep than others. We never achieved more than a 28 minute nap in DD1’s entire life. DD2 however, is proving to be the opposite and loves a daytime nap but enjoys a nighttime party (still a newborn though so I live in hope that this will change).

@RubyRed401

Are you talking split nights, one long wake up splitting the night in two? Or do you mean you have frequent wake ups leading to 3-4h total awake in the night?

What is your baby's sleep schedule over 24h?

Hi @FATEdestiny ( I’m not sure how to tag!!)
It is one long continuous wake up. So she’ll wake say 1am then talk / cry/ and I think try get back to sleep by banging her head against the cot. She is awake the whole time for about 3-4 hours xx

Thank you for your comments everyone x

Yes often the super brightdevelopmentally advanced children.
God I hope my next one is thick as mince

Oh sorry I forgot to say, so if she’s been awake in the night for 3-4 hours, she’ll then be asleep still usually at 8
I then wake her up around then and then she has another nap 2 hours normally at usually 12.30-3.30 xx
Charljay that sounds awful!! You really do try everything don’t you!
I’ve found that I’ve tried everything and then I go a full circle and try it again. But I’m going to try cut her nap down now in the day, to see if this will help!

A consistent wake-up time of between 7 and 7.30am (regardless of how good/awful the previous nights sleep was) worked wonders for us. Lunch at 12, nap usually 12.30/1 to 3/3.30pm with bedtime at 7.

Burritofan

BeauxHeaux ahh that’s interesting, so I will try this and wake her 7-7.30 ish
I’m sure I had also read this before somewhere!

@RubyRed401

Oh sorry I forgot to say, so if she’s been awake in the night for 3-4 hours, she’ll then be asleep still usually at 8 I then wake her up around then and then she has another nap 2 hours normally at usually 12.30-3.30 xx Charljay that sounds awful!! You really do try everything don’t you! I’ve found that I’ve tried everything and then I go a full circle and try it again. But I’m going to try cut her nap down now in the day, to see if this will help!

What time is she asleep by at bedtime?

12.30-3.30 is 3h daytime nap? (Which, incidentally, I'd expect for the age. It's just you said 2h)

How does she go to sleep at bedtime and naptime?

How long has she been head banging?

He's starting nursery next week 2 mornings a week for now a few ppl have told me I will see a difference when that starts. Its just soo expensive so we will see how he goes. I definitely think lockdown has something to do with it because we was stuck in I gave in to him alot.

Hi FATEdestiny, sorry , I meant 2.30!! ( sleep deprivation!!) so yes 2 hours
She gets put down in bed say 7-7.30 but it can sometimes take her an hour to settle. Just talking, bit of crying, then head banging but she usually does settle fine. And nap time she’s usually better going to sleep pretty soon.
She’s been head banging for nearly a year now
Doctors say it’s normal but I have asked to be referred to a paediatrician just to check her out. She has a lump on the back of her head where the hairs stopped growing and it’s red. They’ve checked it out before and again, say it’s fine, just trauma. But I wanted her to get seen xx