4 week old day night confusion

[HummingBirdFly]

Just looking for some advice on what is reasonable to expect at this age. My DD is 4 weeks old and been a very sleepy baby in the daytime from birth. After a rocky start with breastfeeding problems she is now fully formula fed and gaining weight well.

She still sleeps for hours during the day. She'll wake enough to have a feed but then fall straight back to sleep. If I try hard to keep her awake in bouncer etc she might manage a total awake time of about an hour including feed.

But then in the night she's wide awake. Last night she woke for feed at midnight and eventually went back to sleep at about 4.30am. She wasn't distressed/crying during that time as long as I held her but cried as soon as I put her in crib.

Health visitor says this is normal day/night confusion which she should grow out of by 12 weeks old. Not sure I can cope with this sleep pattern until then! The problem is I have a toddler too so hard to sleep during day. DH is helping out at night but he's back at work so needs some sleep too.

HV said not to try to change anything at this stage, just a matter of wait until she sorts out her pattern. But I'm wondering whether some gentle nudges would help eg waking her in day after a certain length of nap. Or do I just have to be patient?!

Let your LO sleep when they want at that age. I think awake time is 45 mins to and hour at that age. Maybe less. Your LO may not be sleeping at night as their overtired. They will adjust nights and days. Promise.

At start of morning curtains open be bright and happy and do nappy and clothes change. Then do same in evening but reverse Pj's, close curtains. Boring mundane voice etc.

Sleep is important for them to sleep at that age - sleep begets sleep in most cases. Some it doesn't. But that age I would expect it to.

I know you have a toddler but try and rest when baby asleep in day. If they want to sleep let them

And to help with the nights. I used to give my LO to DP in the evenings from 7pm ish and go sleep. He used to settle her until the feed in the night. I do all feeds except dreamfeed about 5 hours after they gone to bed (11pm ish) . Thats his job. I go to bed about 9pm every night as she's up about 5am. I'm tired but with the dreamfeed we give it helps.

Just keep saying it does get better I promise and full of sympathy

And I'm sure someone more experienced will come along and give better advise. Offering what worked for me x

She's far too young tbh even for a 'nudge'
I would never wake a baby that age.

It's tough op, esp with a toddler added into the mix!
Does your toddler go to nursery? GPs around to take for a couple hours for you?

As pp my DP always done the first wake up bottle in the night, if hard to settle I took over, if not I would then do the next one.
It's far harder being at home with two than being at work.

Thank you both for the advice. It's just reassuring to hear this is normal and will improve! I wish I had an idea of when that will be but of course there's no way of knowing. I'll heed your advice and just follow her lead for now. Good advice to split shifts with DH, I'm hoping to get some sleep in this evening.

I don't have much family support but am lucky that my older child goes to nursery 2 days a week so that will give me a break. He was the opposite as a newborn - extremely alert during the day, often crying in evenings etc but slept 8 hours at night from 6 weeks old. So I think my expectations of sleep at this age are probably quite unrealistic! Thanks again for taking the time to reply.

Yep as you say change your expectations, every baby is different. If your toddler is at nursery and your other LO is asleep - sleep a lot :)

Honestly let LO 😴 sleep as much as they want. Definitely spilt the evening with your DH. He takes evening till midnight you do the rest xx good luck