I can't sit in this chair anymore!

[beggingforsleep]

My DS was 2 last month. We have been sitting in a chair in his room while he falls asleep for the last 8 months or so. It takes him over an hour to fall asleep. I can't sit in the chair anymore.

On Friday our food delivery came while I was in the chair so I left him. I told him what I was doing but he screamed and cried. I took the delivery slowly, put the frozen stuff away, to see what would happen. He was still wailing after 10 mins so I went back up and he was standing up and sobbing. So I sat back in the chair.

He's a happy child. Sleeps well once he's asleep. Naps for 1-2 hours in the day (needs us in the chair while he falls asleep). Can understand a lot of what we're saying and talks back.

So my question is. Is it still CIO if the child can be reasoned with to some degree and knows that we're not sitting in the chair because we need to tidy up/have our dinner/go to bed ourselves/have better things to do? Or is it just a battle of wills?

I've literally lost days of my life in this chair and I'd like not to lose anymore.

Will he let you pop ‘to the loo’ for a minute? If he can do that’s without upset you can gradually increase the time you are ‘in the loo’. Let him
know you might need to ‘go’ then tell him you are going and announce your return till he builds confidence that you are not far away!

I lost an awful lot of time sat on the floor in the dark, solidarity

DS did, eventually, stop crying himself sick but it was so gradual it nearly destroyed my soul. I went for a similar technique, told him I was just going to put the washing away next door, left his door wide open, landing light on, white noise on VERY loud. Pottered around in my room for 1 min to start with then gradually kept adding 30 seconds on every 3 or 4 nights. The trick seemed to be that I needed to pop back in to him while he was still just whinging, if I let it progress to proper crying we were fucked and back to me sitting on the stupid rainbow rug in the dark. Eventually we got to a point where I said I was just going to xyz, then I pulled his door half closed and went down to the bottom of the stairs where I think I held my breath for about 10 minutes waiting to see if I’d got away with it. It does work but my god you need consistency and nerves of steel! I found loud white noise really helped, and also just being very boring and returning him to bed in a boring, quiet way if he got up at all. Good luck.

I gradually got out of this by doing other chores upstairs.....just need to clean the bath, hang the washing up etc....although my son was quite a bit older. (I had a very high level on Candy Crush!! Also I had younger kids to breast feed so had made a rod for my own back.)

Thanks both. I'll try a bit harder with the popping out and see if I can increase the time. If I say I'm going anywhere he stands up and says 'me come too!' and makes a fuss till I find myself on the loo with him on my lap 🙄.

I need more nerves. Or gin. I'm getting desperate now though so that should help my resolve!

Boring boring boring voice, it’s bedtime DS night night I’m going to do the washing. Walk away. If he gets up to come with you, return him to bed, night night DS it’s bedtime. Repeat. Try not to lose the will to live. Have a very large gin waiting in the fridge.

The thing with "just popping" is to always go back. It worked for us too.
"I'm just going to finish the washing up etc".

I'm not in the chair! I'm in the room next door on the bed but I've left his door open and if he says my name I just say I'm tidying. Tomorrow I'll need to bring something to do upstairs...

I did sit in the chair for a good forty five mins before I got the guts/lost the will. Maybe that lulled him in to a sleepy state so he's not putting up a fight.

Hope this continues! It's so nice to not be in the dark.

I found it helped if they could hear me doing something - running water in the bathroom, vacuuming downstairs etc - they obviously didn't like me to be idle!