baby always wakes at 5am. now a year old and i'm a shadow of my former self...

[moodlesoup]

my dd1 is 15months old and she's always woken up early.

we've had her in a regular bed time routine from the start and she's a good solid sleeper. but no matter what time we put her to bed, 6pm or 8pm - she always wakes up at 5am. we had a spell of 5.30-5.45 going for about a month when she was starting to walk which was wonderful, but since then she's reverted back to 5am.

we've tried leaving her to cry to resettle, and also bringing her into bed with us, or settling her and then putting her back in her cot (seriously not a good idea!) and none of it makes any difference. once she's awake she wants her milk and then play. our rule is that we don't get out of bed until 5.30am but it really is no way to live!

is this it for us??! does it/will it get better?
my dh and i go to bed at 9pm every night, and never go out, as its just not worth it when you are woken at 5am.

any help gratefully received!
thanks

I have some sympathy in that my DD who is also 15 months is pretty much the same. However, we also have disturbed nights so don't even get the luxury of solid sleep followed by early wakings. I long for a night like yours but I guess if it's their time to get up there is nothing you can do about it.

We haven't been out either but that's a lack of baby sitters. If you have the option of a baby sitter why don't you see if you can get out during the day / early evening at the weekend instead. Go to the cinema, have lunch, do some shopping. I think you just need to think about going out differently if that's the main problem. A friend of mine has a DS who was an early riser for 2.5 years but now sleeps well and until 7 ish so yes there is hope for the future.

You have all my sympathy, my DS was exactly the same, worse sometimes during summer 2006, when he was around 1YO, he would often wake closer to 4-4.30am and stay awake until his midmorning nap time. It was horrendous and he has never been brilliant at sleeping through the night either.

You dont mention day time naps, I know it can be really difficult (I never managed it, and it can also be really painful dealing with tired and emotional behaviour, esp when you feel the same) but can you limit sleep in the day?

The only thing I can say is that it does get better. DS is now 2.3 and goes to bed at 8pm and most of the time sleeps through really well, has been doing so for about six months. We never let him sleep after 3.30pm in the day though.

This isnt going to help you much right now but may be useful for others with older children who wake early - we still had some problems with early waking, around 5.30 up until recently, but I bought a bunny clock (from Blooming Marvellous - night light switches from sleeping bunny to awake bunny at time you set) and it has been fantastic. We sometimes hear him wake early and he has a chat or a whinge to himself but he is just about old enough to understand that he must only call us when it is morning time - ie when the bunny is awake. I think he has only woken us about twice in the 5/6 weeks we have had the clock before it has switched to awake bunny. I started off setting it for 6.30am and its now on 7.10am. I love it!

i like the sound of sleeping bunny!

thanks for your advice! its nice to know its not just us!

she's at nursery in the day and she only has a 1 hour nap, sometimes 1-5hours nap after lunchtime so she's really running on empty when she gets home.

she's goes to bed normally at 7pm. we tried moving it on, but she still woke up at 5am. ts not exactly quality time when she's so tired so we normally just get her to bed when she looks like she's ready to go.

our heating doesn't come on anymore, we have it on during the night, so from 1am - 3am (cos we thought this might be disturbing her too...). i thought she might be cold, but its 18c in her room each morning at 5.30am.

i should be thankful for the solid sleep though. some people don't have that, so at least we get to have an evening together. small mercies!

thanks for your advice everyone

Does she have black out curtains? Also perhaps sleep in her room for a night to see if you hear something that could be waking her up.

I would give her a bottle and put her back to bed to see if she goes to sleep, also could load up her bed with some safe toys/books to see if she would occupy herself for a while.

have you tried 'wake to sleep' by the babywhisperer? An hour before your lo's usual wake up (so in your case 4am) you disturb them to bring them out of deep sleep and then let them go back to sleep again. It is supposed to re-jig the sleep cycle and let them get past the early wake up.

I used it when dd was started waking at 5.30am after sleeping till 6.30/7am. The first night I changed her nappy with her still in the cot - she moaned a bit and turned over but didnt wake fully. The second night she cried a bit at 4.30am so I didnt have to nudge her myself and the third night she slept to her normal time. She stopped waking at 5.30am after that. You are supposed to try it for 3 nights in a row to see if it makes a difference.

that's very brave! i'll give it some thought! thanks.

(no to blackout curtains, but it is pretty dark in there). our room is so close (terribly thin walls) that it could be our snoring waking her up! might move her into a different room...

thanks for all the tips!

I know someone with a bunny - it is marvellous - for a slightly older child though

From what I have heard - health visitors though - and read - between 5 and 6am is normal for a baby to wake up. We get up at 5. She is usually awake from 3 though. I am also in bed by 9 (DP doesn't seem to see the necessity ) Could you push her first milk later, even if you do have to get up? Maybe, as she is accustomed to it, she is getting used to being hungry at that time? It hasn't really worked for us but I know some that it does work for. Sympathies though - I'd kill to sleep in til 6, I really would!

From what I have heard - health visitors though - and read - between 5 and 6am is normal for a baby to wake up. We get up at 5. She is usually awake from 3 though. I am also in bed by 9 (DP doesn't seem to see the necessity ) Could you push her first milk later, even if you do have to get up? Maybe, as she is accustomed to it, she is getting used to being hungry at that time? It hasn't really worked for us but I know some that it does work for. Sympathies though - I'd kill to sleep in til 6, I really would!

moodlesoup you are describing my situation almost exactly. My DD is 16 months old, has always been a light sleeper and gets up every morning around 5 am. I have tried puttng her to bed later, limiting her day time sleep, leaving her to cry, bringing her in my bed, milk and toys in the cot and nothng works. I suppose i will have to accept that she is an early riser and just does not need a lot of sleep but its really affecting me as I am the only one here to get up with her, and my older chldren. I haven't had a full nights sleep since pregnant wth DS3 who s now 3 1/2 and slept in past half past five since she was a couple of months old. I have got a rabbit clock for DS3 and if manage to whisk DD out of their room before she wakes him up it is brillant. Just waiting for her to be old enough to understand how it works.
The whole sleep issue has had a massive effect on my relationship with her dad and i feel its hard to feel postive and enjoy lfe ti its full potential when you are so tired all the time.

Completely normal for little ones to wake up so early. I don't think 5 is that shocking. Lots of people get up at 5 in the morning to take care of children or go to work. And yes, for a couple of years you might haver to go to bed slightly earlier to make sure you sleep enough. It's no way to live? It's often the way to live when you have children

Hi I just added to my thread and was reading thru some others and I saw yours. You do have my absolute sympathy it is bloody shattering getting up at 5 plus I am not a morning person my 2 girls were dreams my 1st sometimes wouldnt get up til half 9 so to say my son was a shock to the system is understatment! I feel and look like crap all the time so I came on here to find a solution and I tried putting him to bed at half 6 instead of 7 and it has worked to i was sceptical and thought I was heading for a 4.30am wake up call from him but it didnt happen it was 6.30am and over last 2 weeks is getting a bit later maybe just try for a couple of weeks to see if little monkey is over tired which mine was. Not for everyone I know but thought I'd pass it on Good Luck let us know if it gets any better!!!

fairy mum - you sound very tough and much more adaptable than me, as i do find it shocking to get up that early, but hey ho, everyone's different.

kel28 - that's an interesting point about dc being overtired. i'm going to try the baby whisperer tip next weekend to see if it works on her so will let you know!

off to bed now!

think yourself bloody lucky!

I have a 33 month old who gets up at 5am - however he also wakes up at elast once during the night. If you can get from 7pm -5am every night then I wouldn't try and 'fix' it as actually it isn't that broken. 10 hrs sleep in one stretch isn't bad at all.

If that sounds a bit unsympathetic I'm sorry but honestly we tried to change DS early wake up and it just made the other night time problems worse.

I would agree that putting her to bed at 6pm is far better than trying to see if an 8pm bedtime makes her get up later.

But you may need to accept the fact that with children you often have to get up before 6am, its horrible in the winter but you can learn to rejig your life around it.
Think of it like living on a farm, early to bed and early to rise! (and you arent' getting up with the lambs in the night!)

I do housework in the early mornings, washing up etc then once DS is in bed in the evenings we get a couple of hours 7-9pm to yourselves.

getting 8 hrs uninterupted sleep a night (from 9pm-5am) is a dream many parents would kill for! especially if you get a lunchtime nap out of your child at home as well!

If you've taken out all of the environmental stuff - noise, discomfort, nappy change, hunger, light etc then you might have to face facts that you've got an early riser.

I've got one and it was a total shock. I remember going to my HV when she was several months old saying 'but she wakes up at 4am! And doesn't want to go back to sleep! And I've got blackout blinds! WAIL'.

My DD absolutely resists sleep, her naps, gets up any time from 4am ready to play.

She's 5 now and tbh I have learned not to have much sleep! We have a no 'fun things happen' rule until 7am but it makes no difference, never has.

I'm just hoping that when she starts school this month everything will change.

And I'm not trying to sound blase - having a non-sleeper is very hard work. It's the main reason she's an only still at 5 - I just couldn't have dealt with another (I work and would often go into the office having already been up with DD for 5 hours).

Certainly DD now will sleep much better if she's been out in the fresh air - swimming and parks really help her sleep. I know with toddlers though you don't want to over-do it in case you get them over-tired.

Are you using sleeping bags with her? Are you very sure that nothing is waking her up apart from her internal clock?

well, i come on hear to find answers and although i haven't found any it's good to know i'm not alone my little one wakes very early in the morning and doesn't resettle. we use to put her to bed at 7pm and she would be very tired by then but since the early morning wakes have kicked in we were given advice that if a baby goes to sleep too tired it will have a more unsettled night and wake early so now she's in bed asleep by 6.30am.....unfortunetly she still wakes early but from reading the above i'm wondering if we should try 6pm for bed?
babies seem to get more worked up the less sleep they have but boy does it take it's toll i'm really struggling with extreme tiredness and i find it hard to be patient in the day because all i want is sleep.
i'm in bed by 9pm but it's not good for marriage, social life and general normal living!
i think the thing i struggle with the most is that we've been very consistant right from birth we don't co-sleep or feed to sleep we don't give her breakfast until 7am (and sometimes thats a long wait) i never put her down for a nap before 9.30am and make sure she doesn't sleep after 3.30pm...and she still wakes early. i feel like i've i've tried everything.
i wonted mind so much if i wasn't so bloody tired, sleep has become a sad obssession and all my husband hears me say is 'i'm soooo tired...i'm just sooo tired'!

by the way my babes is 12 months old and use to sleep 7pm-6.40am until three months ago! why didn't i appreciate those nights more?
looking at the comments above it's easy to find someone whos situation seems worse than our own there is bound to be someone out there whos baby only sleeps 1 hour a night..and we should count our blessings ect, but when it comes down to it tiredness is tiredness and some people cope with that better than others .i don't cope very well with lack of sleep and i seek an answer to my problem mainly because i want to be a better, more patient and loving mother and wife and tiredness makes that hard to do.