Sleep emergency - help me deal with this

[lucyellensmum]

OK - DD is 2.5. She has never been a good sleeper, we had bad night last night, so was tired in the day, had her nap.

I used to have to sit up there with her for hours holding her hand, i stopped it and all was well. DP got roped into it again. He is out, but will be back soon.

She is upstairs, crying "hold my hand hold my hand" How long can i leave her? Ive been up to her and said she must sleep, about five minutes ago - i made it worse

HEEEEELLLLLLLLLP

with ds, I found it was best to just leave him, and it only took 30 mins the first time(I say only - some books say 2 hours). if you've already managed to kick the habit it shouldn't even take that long though, but if I were you, I'd go and shush her from outside the bedroom door.

she'll be ok, honest.

DP came home and has gone up to hold her hand. I dont think i could bear two hours, half an hour maybe, but dp lasted two minutes! Trouble is, its my back he is making the rod for

I think you need to have serious words with your dp about going up and holding her hand. At the end of the day, you had managed to get her to sleep without doing it, so all she is doing is having a tantrum to get her own way.

If it was nearly teatime and she asked for a chocolate biscuit and you said no, she'd probably have a tantrum but you'd treat it as a tantrum and let her get on with it. (This is a big assumption, but bear with the analogy!) The screaming at bedtime is the same thing, and at 2.5 she's clever enough to know that if she keeps crying then she'll get her own way.

If I were in your position I'd say to dp 'no more hand holding'. Has she got a special bedtime toy/ cuddly? Could you go out (all 3 of you) and let her choose one? Then you can go through her bedtime routine, tuck her in with her comforter and leave her. Personally, I find it really hard to just let them scream, so I'd go up every 5 mins or so (less if you're finding it hard) and tell her that her toy will help her go to sleep, give her a kiss and go out and just repeat until she goes to sleep. Your dp would probably need to do it too, so she realises that daddy isn't the soft touch. Is he softer on her having tantrums generally, than you are?

Like you say, it's you who is paying the price for him doing this so you need to put your foot down and stop it as soon as possible.