Sleep training - naps

[MumofOne111111]

I am currently sleep training my LO and having mixed results so wanted to see if anyone had similar situations.
We are using Ferbers method of controlled crying with intervals - so going in at different intervals to reassure but not picking up to comfort I’m also still doing a dream feed.
DS cried the first night for 18 minutes and then slept for nearly 12 hours with one wake up at about 1am that lasted maybe 5 mins
Every night now he will sleep for 12 hours but getting him to go to sleep is not getting any easier! If anything he’s crying for longer
Also naps are great in the morning - settles himself well for the first 2 but after that it’s a guessing game - by bedtime he’s overtired (which is what is making him cry more I think)
Has anyone got any suggestions/ advice/ similar stories

And no ‘sleep training is cruel/abuse’ comments please

Just bumping for you - I have nothing useful to share but hopefully someone else will!!

How old is he?

4.5 months

Just an update - I think the crying longer is because he was over tired - we pulled his bedtime back by 30 mins last night and he went down pretty quickly

Just the naps that need fixing now!

What does he do for his afternoon naps?

Nothing gets 'fixed' at 4.5 months, sorry. That is so young and their sleep patterns are constantly changing. I think his sleep sounds excellent for his age!

He is probably too little for sleep training to work properly.

Theres a sleep regression and a huge developmental leap around 4 - 6 months so it's probably too early for sleep training anyway. There's gentler ways, you don't need to put yourself or your child through 'controlled' crying.

I’m sorry I’m not trying to say it’s cruel but as I understand it controlled crying isn’t even recommended by sleep consultants until 6 months at the earliest? Why are you doing it this early? If he’s struggling to settle for his afternoon naps, cuddle him, push him in the pram or take him for a drive, he’s tiny and his sleep is going to change a lot. It’s normal for babies to settle better for their naps earlier in the day and need more help for later ones. My 11 month old sleeps through and will do a 2 hour morning nap in the cot but his afternoon nap sometimes needs to be a drive/cuddle nap depending on the day. All naps were on me or in a moving pram/car for the first 8 months of his life so this is a huge improvement!

Hi thanks for your messages

From the research that I’ve done ‘sleep training’ can be effective from 4 months as they have the cognitive ability to be able to self soothe

His night time sleep has gone from waking every 1.5/2 hours to sleeping through 12 hours (with dream feeds) so he has already developed/demonstrated that he can self soothe

In an ideal world I would have every nap on me snuggled in bed/on the sofa but due to going back to work/ grandparents providing care etc that just won’t be possible! If he can learn to put himself to sleep then in the times I’m not there I know he’ll be able to get sleep. Also since we’ve started his bedtime routine, his dad has been able to get way more involved rather than me taking him up and sitting in a quiet dark room with him until he fell asleep

I’ve been taking him out in the pram and having him nap on me in the afternoon because his sleep is more important than where he sleeps - I’m just trying to help him learn how to put himself to sleep without sleep aides which I think is working - plus the longer/better he naps the happier he is in the day

For anyone also seeking answers - I’ve done some more research into wake windows and put him down for his first nap for which he fell asleep within 5 minutes of chatting (not crying) so fingers crossed

As others have touched on, your challenge isn’t sleep training it’s making sure your baby is appropriately tired to sleep at their nap and bedtime, if not they’ll be upset whatever you do so if you nail that you’re in a good place.
Babies can put themselves to sleep from about 4 months yes but methods like controlled crying are not recommended at this age as it’s harder to identify other issues that are making them upset. If you want to teach them to sleep alone, try a gentler method for now and it’ll be a natural progression to solo sleep, nothing wrong with you wanting to encourage that!

Thanks again for the advice guys (and the little to no judgement from most!)

I’ve decided not to sweat the small stuff with the naps - I’m happy to have him nap on me, in his crib, in the pram etc as long as he’s happy

His night time sleep is so good so I can’t complain - I think it’s about when he’s put down now so I think I’ll make sure I work on that so he doesn’t get over tired!

Brought him into bed with me for a cuddle this morning and definitely not ready to give up moments like this so just needed a bit of perspective

At 4.5 months it sounds like the sleep is going pretty well!

@Potatoy

At 4.5 months it sounds like the sleep is going pretty well!

Yeh I really can’t complain! Think I just had a bad day and thought I was doing it all wrong!

Hiya, when I did controlled crying, I used the same method for day time naps as the evening sleep. Even though my DD was going down asleep easily on the third night, the naps took 7 days to click. We basically stayed in for a week and just did sleep training for all naps. No car or pushchair naps because it was important for us to have naps at home

@MumofOne111111 oh I had sooo many of those days!