Sleep training a 2.5 year old...any tips?!

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Got ourselves in to a bit of a situation with 2.5yo DS. Used to be able to fall asleep independently, but went through a phase of being quite poorly so tended to stay in with him when he cried for it. Now he wants that every night, and has progressed in to middle of the night too. He CAN sleep through, and has done so consistently for weeks before a pattern of lonnnng night wakings, screaming for 'mummy' which results in me often falling asleep in his room for 3 or 4 hours (mainly through exhaustion on my part).

He doesn't nap during the day anymore so is shattered in the evening and is mostly fast asleep by 6.30pm.

Decided that we need to resolve this (especially as I'm not pregnant with no. 2). So any tips on how sort his sleep out at this age would be most welcome!!

Studies show very very few children don't need a nap at age 3. What does he do instead? Does he have some 'quiet time'? What does he do if you try a nap?

How did you get him to sleep independently the first time? What's the routine?

I don't think I have answers, just more questions, I'm afraid!!

Thanks for your reply @physicskate!

He's at nursery 4 days a week, and hasn't really napped there for over a year. We do sometimes try for a nap on the weekend depending on whether he seems tired, and for that we can just put him in his cot and leave him, he'll chat away to himself for a bit and then fall asleep. But we find that days he's napped he'll be awake until gone 8pm that night and he's guaranteed to wake up at night!

I honestly can't remember how we did it first time, it seems so long ago that he did it at night! I think we did a gradual retreat training but he just seemed happy to be left and get off to sleep.

Bedtime routine is milk about 30 mins before bed, bath (not every night), pjs, story, white noise, cuddle and bed

Mine all dropped their nap before they were 2 OP (and slept much better at night as a result, and were far happier and more well rested), they’re all different.
What happens if you don’t stay in his room when you put him to bed? Have you tried leaving the room but leaving the door open and just popping in every now and then? Or sitting outside the door instead of in the room and just letting him know you’re there if he screams?

My 2.5 year old is in a bed so if he gets up we do ‘silent return’, ie just putting him back into bed without saying anything/engaging with him.

I have no advice but I do sympathise and am watching as I'm in the same position. Sleep trained using gradual retreat when younger. All of a sudden for both nap and night he wants one of us to stay with him and hold his hand. Some days this can be over an hour each time.

@Neverrains, same here, when he sleeps (rarely) through, he's so happy the next day!! Haven't tried it for a while but he'll scream and cry and shout, points to the chair for me to sit down, is sometimes sick too.

I think leaving the room and going back in is the only option really, but it's going to be more like CC rather than him being settled, unfortunately! Just feel sorry for the neighbours!! We've not tackled the moving to a bed yet!

@RamblesShambles, I feel your pain, just keep hoping he'll grow out of it!! We have to hope!

Just sleep trained our 2.5 year old. We did the controller crying. So cried 1 min, went in reassured then left; then 3 min then 5 min.

Worked a treat after 2 nights and only got to 5 min of crying.

But, I talked to him about it lots the day running up to the night, he choose his own teddy comforter, and I think if he had cried more than 5 min I may have broken!

He co slept for 2.5 years, and woke about 5 times a nights for that long

Ah amazing, hope it carries on for you! Must be so nice for you to get some sleep too! I think we'll have to bite the bullet and try it out!