How to stop 1yo waking at 5am every day?

[HereWeGoAgain24]

I'm finding it so difficult to cope at the moment.
I have 15mo DS, who wakes up at 5-5:30am EVERY single morning without fail.

Typical routine at the moment:
5am - wake up
5:30am - bring him into our bed
6am - watch YouTube on mine or DHs phone so we can rest our eyes for about 10 mins extra
6:30am - Peppa Pig on tv (I'm aware this is a lot of screen time please don't shame)
7:30am - breakfast
8am - playtime
9am - starts to get tired and whingy
9:30-10am - take him up for his nap (nappy change/shut curtains and blinds/cuddle/put in cot awake to self soothe to sleep)
He usually naps for 2-2.5 hours
11:30-12:30pm - wakes up
12:30pm - lunch time
1:30pm - usually go out somewhere (shops/park etc)
2:30pm - snack time (usually if we're out he will snack on some veggie straws or some raisins/fruit based snack)
4:30-5:30pm - tea time
5:30pm - bath time
6pm - chill time before bed (cuddles/stories)
6:15pm - we leave the room for DS to self soothe to sleep in his cot
6:30-7:30pm - usually asleep by now (in this time we sometimes help soothe DS if he's really upset, can be up to 3 times of reassuring comfort)
Midnight - usually wakes up crying and we pat him back to sleep
5am - wake up and repeat

We have tried everything. Tried moving bedtime later in the hope he would wake up later, but if we put him to bed at 7/8/9pm he wakes up even earlier (I'm talking 4am every time!) so that leads me to believe he's overtired. Tried moving bed time earlier in case he was too tired but again, it makes no difference.
If he goes to sleep at 8pm he will wake up at 4am, no amount of soothing helps him go back to sleep. However, if I put him down at 5:30pm (early I'm aware) he would still sleep through until 5am the next morning... meaning he gets a full 2.5-3 hours extra sleep. I feel like those later bed times cause extra stress for everyone and don't bring any benefits. I hope that makes sense.

We tried both of these methods for around 1.5-2 weeks.
It was the same even when he had 2 separate naps (9-10:30am and 1-2pm) so I was hopeful the transition to one nap may help but it doesn't.

It's exhausting, DH and I averaging about 5 hours sleep a night.

Really hoping someone can offer some advice we would love another soon but I don't know how I would cope with newborn night feeds and waking up for the day at 5am!

It's not popular, but go to bed earlier yourself.

There are so many posts of here where people say the same thing. My 1 year old wakes up at 5am. It is a phase they go through, mine did the same. And no amount of mucking about with their routine makes a blind bit of difference.

Rest better yourself. Take it in turns with DH for the midnight wake ups and ride it out. IIRC, it will pass in a few months.

Have you tried an afternoon nap just a short one of he's overtired at bedtime or move his morning nap to afternoon that's what I did with my DS he dropped a nap but it was the afternoon one that Went naturally so I started moving his morning nap to the afternoon so he wasn't so over tired at bedtime.

That's pretty normal for that age.

As much as I hated getting the same advice all you can really do is get to bed earlier yourself and try and embrace the early start.

My horrible sleeper at that age who wouldn't go to bed til 8, up throughout the night and ready to start the day at 5 is now a great sleeper and usually does 7.30pm - 7.30am.

It's stressful and knackering but hopefully temporary

My 3 year old still wakes up before 5:30 most days, I just go to bed earlier.

Pretty normal to be honest. Gradually they do sleep later and longer but you only have to look through mumsnet to see loads of other posts saying similar things. I know it doesn’t help much! Both mine were exactly the same. I just used to go to bed earlier and treat 5/5.30am as time to get up.

I'd say he's overtired. His nap is far too early meaning he's awake for fat too long before bedtime. His nap is early because he wakes early. You are stuck in a bad routine.

I think I'd gradually try to push the nap back 15 mins a day and at the same time bring bedtime forward until its a more balanced routine. Once his nap is slightly later you can push bedtime back again.

I think 5 hours is the average wake window for a 1 Yr old so you want roughly wake 7am, nap 11.30ish, wake 2ish sleep 7pm.

Overtired children wake early. Will also be the reason for midnight crying. Takes 3 weeks for routines to be established so you need to keep at it for a bit.

I'm so sorry to say this and I know you don't know want to hear it, but in the end I just went with it.

It's a hard, hard phase but it will pass eventually. One of mine was about 6 months of doing it, the other was about 3 months. Both of them did it over autumn/winter but it was between the ages of 1 and 2.

I just came up with some coping mechanisms and tried to lean into it.

• early bed, really early at least once a week (ie as soon as DC is in bed)

• have a list of stuff to do online, order the food shopping, catch up with emails, get a head start on Christmas presents, browse clothes, holidays, whatever.

• some mornings do some housework. Then by 7am you have done the housework and during naptime you can lie in bed without feeling you should be doing anything

• batch cook

• read a book

• watch a film on tablet while DC watch cbeebies

• have a routine for DH to get on some mornings

It will pass. Not completely - my DC are still 6am but that is manageable. You just need to let them do it in their own time.

It's probably more streefull tiring trying to change it than it is just to live with it tbh. I'd probably reinstate the afternoon nap and try and drop the morning nap and see if that helps at all, as all afternoon into the evening is a long time for a 1 year old to be awake! If not, and even if an afternoon nap doesn't help them sleep later, just go with the earlier morning, and go to sleep earlier yourself. It's difficult at the time but it's a phase that will pass. Unless you're like me and end up so conditioned to early mornings that 6.3am is a long lie in, but I love my early (5.30-6.30am) quiet time on my own now my kids are a bit older!

move food times forward, our inner rhythm is based on food times. move the food and meal times by 20 minutes each week for 3 weeks

Thanks so much everyone for the advice. @GoAwayCat those are some really helpful coping mechanisms thank you 🙏🏼

I have moved his toddler group from 1pm to the 9:45am one because he was transitioning to 1 nap and I thought he would be napping still at 1pm (one single lunchtime nap) but by 9am he's so tired, rubbing his eyes, getting frustrated, getting clingy) and I try so hard to drag it out and get him to go down later but he never makes it l
past 10:30am. So he tends to be awake 5-6 hours from waking and another 5-6 hours before bedtime.
Honestly one of the most frustrating things is at 5am when he wakes, he clearly is still tired but honestly no amount of comfort helps him drift off. We've left him to go to sleep and tried CIO method but he screams and screams rather than settling and drifting back off.
He's been this way since he was about 9 months old. So going on at least 6 months.

So hopefully I can get him to toddler group without him falling asleep in the car this morning!

Sorry, really normal especially given its summer but it is a phase! You'll get through it!

It's fairer if you take it in turns getting up with him at 5am not bringing him into bed to disturb you both. So then at least every other day you get longer in bed potentially asleep.

Also you need to go to bed yourself at 9/9.30 to catch up. Boring but it won't be forever.

It's impossible. Sorry to say but you have to suck it up too if wears off. My kids do 5am in summer then 6 in winter. They're no changing of naps or bedtime that helps, some kids just do it. You'll find you get used to it. I go to be at 9, sleeping 9-5 is perfectly adequate, lots of sleep in fact

Damn typos

And sorry some actual advice - we just take it in turns to get up so you don't resent the early mornings. When it's your day you end up
thinking ah well I get a lie in tomorrow

I once got told the earlier their nap the earlier they will wake the next day, it definitely seemed the case for us! But I do hate to tell you my child went through the 5am wake ups at 1 year old as well. It was the start of first lockdown, as if the days weren't hard enough to fill as it was! Think it went on a couple of months then it thankfully got later. If nothing works just try and ride it out, I promise it doesn't last forever!

Do you have a gro blind? We got one and it helped a bit. Really blocks out the light well.

Might also be worth going back to a short afternoon nap. Even just 40 mins in the buggy if you can manage out for a walk. Then you might manage a 7pm bedtime.

It might just be one of those things unfortunately though. Mine don't wake early anymore but I am still in the habit of going to bed at 9.30!

Normal for this age Im afraid. I remember being like you and thinking it would never end. I now have an 8 year old who sleeps until 8.30 in the holidays :) I did what you did, bring into bed, put TV on, have a snooze (I was on my own so didn´t have an option to share). Lots of coffee in the day, nap when toddler naps etc. I know it´s a cliche but this too shall pass.

Anytime after 5am is a bonus, sorry! He's already been in bed 10 hours. You need to go to bed earlier.

Normal. Just get up and get on with your day.
It does pass, eventually.

I used to bundle them into the pushchair ansvho for a long walk. They'd fall back asleep and I'd be...awake for the day.

I suspect his wake windows are too long. It sounds counterintuitive, but try pushing his first nap later. Don’t suddenly jump to an hour later, but move it by 15 minutes every day until it’s around 11:30. That means he won’t be overtired at bedtime, and hopefully won’t be topping up on nighttime sleep with a too-early nap.

It's probably a phase op I'm sorry. Both mine went through it and it was a bloody long phase. I just had to go to bed very early to compensate.

Problem is now I've got used to going to bed early and hate being up much after 9 o clock now!!

Tbh you are lucky that he actually sleeps so long, as for 5am wake ups I am afraid this comes with the territory when you have small children.

Wake to Sleep method

Give him supper right before he goes to bed

Extend his bedtime but just by 15 minutes every 3rd night

I have moved his toddler group from 1pm to the 9:45am

● Nap 8.45am (on the dot) - Wake at 9.30am
● Go to playgroup after having a morning powernap. Stay busy and active.
● 1pm, or whenever home from playgroup - afternoon nap for as long as needed
● Aim for 4-5h awake time before bed, so be flexible with the time of bedtime according to wake time from afternoon nap, rather than at a set time.

This is totally normal. Go to bed earlier and get up with him, it's just part of parenthood. I would also limit the screen time and not making it a habit as soon as he wakes up.