Getting 13 month old to fall asleep alone

[H8theW8]

DS is 13.5 months and has always been a great sleeper. Moved to his own room at 6.5 months without any fuss and generally has 11.5 - 12.5hrs per night (mostly without any waking). If/when he does wake, I go in, give him a quick cuddle and then lie him back in his cot. I'll sit on the chair in his room whilst he gets himself comfy and drifts back off (usually takes no longer than 5/10 mins).

However, in order for him to go to sleep initially, he has to be cuddled/rocked. This can sometimes take an hour and goes for both daytime naps and nighttime sleep.

I am 7 weeks pregnant with DC2 and I really want to get him into the habit of falling asleep on his own as it's only going to get more difficult and tiring as my pregnancy progresses (he's big and heavy) and I want him in that routine before baby arrives.

Our current bedtime routine is:

6.30pm - Bath, Teeth, PJs
7pm - Milk & Story
7.15pm/7.30pm - Bed

Any suggestions on how to get him to fall asleep without begin rocked/bounced? I don't want to do the CIO method. He doesn't have a favourite cuddly toy or comforter, he doesn't really bother with them.

What are his naps like?

Can you somehow lie down next to him and start from there? Maybe remove the cot and do a floor bed? Then you can start with cuddling with him next to you, then slowly move further and further away? This is what I did with DS. It was easier though as I had the cot side car'ed to the bed at that point.

@edin16 he has around 1-1.5hrs before lunch and then around 45 mins in the afternoon. No set times.

He's been walking since he was 11 months so anytime I try and lie down with him he just wants to get up and run around. He only sleeps in his cot, buggy, car seat or in our arms. I've tried to lie with him in my bed for a nap but he will not lie still, regardless of how tired he is.

I know that if I put his mattress on the floor he'd just get up the minute he woke and be into everything rather than turning over and going back to sleep 🙈

I do appreciate your suggestions though! Thank you x

I had a single mattress in the floor next to the cot (started with bars off but could start with bars on) and would hold her hand or rub her back. Next step was just laying on the mattress and then moved it progressively further away. Took awhile til I was out of the room completely.

Sometimes she would want to stand up etc. I would just tell her to lie down. At the start of the process, I stayed on the mattress and napped next to her. When she saw me sleeping she knew it wasn't a game and she'd get bored and lay down again. It wasn't easy or fast. But dd (now 2 years four months) can just be plonked in her cot and I can leave the room without making a peep. She's been like that for nearly a year, even with a house move and a new baby brother.

@physicskate that's what I'm aiming for 👍🏼 will give the mattress on the floor whilst he's in his cot idea a go and see how we get on 🤞🏼

Congratulations on your new pregnancy!

Our DS is 13.5 months too, and I’m 34 weeks pregnant so understand the urgency😂.

We ditched the cot though so this maybe slightly different for you. We didn’t necessarily CIO but I envisaged having a newborn and a 15m old (that’s likely still going to need at least one nap a day) and thinking how an earth am I going to get no1 asleep whilst no2 is crying for a cluster feed.

So we used to lay with him hold his hand and sing to him and he’d flop around and eventually go to sleep between 10-45 minutes after we went up to bed. That obviously isn’t practical with 2 under 18m, so, I just started holding his hand then as I saw him drifting I’d get up and stand next to the bed and ‘shh shh’. Then I’d slowly take steps backwards whilst ‘shhing’ until I was out of the room. Sometimes he’d cry so I’d wait one minute then go back.
I just put him back in bed, put the blanket back on him and stroke his head and kiss him good night then I would start shhing from standing then, and exit quicker each time, still whilst shhing.

There were quite a few tears the first night, I went back in about 8 times.
Then something just clicked after 2nights I did the usual put him down kiss on the head and left. He just went to sleep.. on his own.

He has done since too so now we do bath, bottle, cuddle and kiss then lay him in bed (or he climbs in whilst we do the curtain/blinds) and he just goes to sleep. We actually can’t believe the difference, he’s currently teething too and still going to sleep independently.