Baby bedtime routine- how?!

[SaveWaterDrinkGin]

Not my first baby but six years since my last one and I seem to have forgotten how we did everything!

She’s four months old and sleeps pretty well at night and seems to have the hang of night and day once we’ve gone up to bed.

I want to start a proper bedtime routine- bath book, boob, bed etc. But confused how we do this whilst following SIDS guidelines. Tonight she had a bath, then a book and a feed in her darkened bedroom, followed by a cuddle and she fell asleep nice and quickly. Then I brought her downstairs and put her into her crib in the sitting room with us. She’s just woken up, it’s basically broad daylight and the telly is on. She’s gone back to sleep but it just seems to make the routine pointless. She’s too little to be put upstairs to bed by herself, but it seems mad to wait until she’s six months to start the bedtime routine. What do we do?!

Do we just persevere and then when she’s six months-ish start putting her upstairs, or is it pointless for now?

I'm a first time Mum and at 4 months he was in our room after doing the same routine you do. I put a monitor in the room and then just checked on him throughout the day/night. We also did the whole bringing him in the living room, but like you it seemed pointless doing a routine to then kind of undo it. If you're happy to i would get a monitor and check every so often.

A monitor does not cover the SIDS risk of a baby being left alone.

Theory is they use your breathing to remind them to, preventing too deep a sleep. No monitor in the world covers that.

I never bothered with a bedtime routine. She slept wherever we were (from midnight till noon). Hasn’t caused any harm whatsoever (she’s nearly 11).

@Newmummy39 she just seems a bit little for me to feel comfortable with that yet. I think with our older daughter we did that about five/five and a half months but I can’t remember what we did in between IYSWIM. I clearly left it too long to have another 😂

Thanks @NavigatingAdolescence for the standard helpful reply on a bedtime routine thread stating you didn’t do a bedtime routine 🙄

I did the same as you from about 10-12 weeks old and them put them to sleep in their room with a video monitor.

Maybe turn down the lights and the TV volume?

@TheMirrorAndTheLight no lights on and shutters closed but, you know, it’s summer time! Also telly is pretty low. But I’m not going to sit in silence otherwise we might ask as well go to bed at 7pm.

You seemed to be asking whether a routine was needed at this age. I was just letting you know it doesn’t have to be an issue, and that you can relax about it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

@TheMirrorAndTheLight okay, thanks for your input.

One option is to change the routine and do
A 9-9 over the summer. Means less child free time of course, but less light at 9pm and less long to leave a child if you decided to watch something and turn in at 10pm. I have a five and a half month old and put him in his own room recently - I don't think it is possible to
Square 7-7 routine and safe sleep guidance unless you retire super early or otherwise have a very sound sleeper!

I didn't bother with a bedtime routine before 6 months when DD went into her room. There was no point and to be honest it didn't seem to matter.

Thanks @whatsthescoregeorgedoors you’re probably right. Might just wait until she’s slightly older.

@wigglerose was it not a lot for her to get used to in one go- new routine, own room, new cot etc or was she fine with it? That’s my only concern with waiting really. Seems a lot to change in one go.

Best you’re doing sounds fine, at six months you just then leave her upstairs with a monitor.

I used to sit up in the bedroom while my DS slept. I would knit or watch tv on my ipad.
Might not work if you have other DC’s but I figured it wasn’t gonna be forever.
I didn’t like the idea of leaving him with just a baby monitor till he was 6 months

From 4-5.5 months, I either took him to bed when I went or sometime I took him up early and watched something in bed on the iPad.

From 5.5 months I used the monitor and he’s now 7 months and goes down well. Still haven’t brought myself to put him into his own room though!

We had the same quandary as you but in the end we put our DD to bed upstairs in our room with a video monitor from about 12 weeks. Sure I’ll get flamed but she’d no longer settle downstairs or anywhere but a dark room from about 10 weeks and we spent a couple of weeks sitting in the bedroom all night with her but just kept disturbing her. We felt comfortable going against the guidance at that point having weighed up the level of risk but it’s up to you. Cribsheet by Emily Oster is a good read for putting risk into perspective and making your own informed decisions. But ultimately you just have to do what feels right for you and if that’s six months, it’ll soon roll around x

I'd do 9-9 as suggested above if you really want to change things, but I'll be doing what you do now until my newborn is 6 months. SIDS isn't something I'm prepared to risk either.

I'm wondering the same, have a 3 month old.

With my 4 year old we started a bedtime routine and leaving her upstairs with monitor from 5 months, but she wasn't a great sleeper anyway and needed settling a lot so made sense to keep her down with us.

New baby seems to like it in her crib in the dark, so it seems a shame to have her downstairs with us but I'm reluctant to go against the SIDS advice.

Will prob start a routine at 5 months again and then move into own room at 6 months!

Hi,

My LO is 3.5 months old and I've started to put him down for his naps in our room during day I leave the room to do some jobs etc. we have a baby monitor, and I check on him regularly too. II do the same at night but he doesn't settle properly until 9-10 so I'm not far off going to bed myself. Is this wrong ? Should I not leave the room he is sleeping in? I didn't realise this is against SIDS advice, I always thought that was for sleeping overnight!

Yes. SIDS guidance is that babies aren’t left alone when sleeping for 6 months.

@SaveWaterDrinkGin I've been wondering the exact same thing. How do we do a routine whilst keeping her downstairs! Baby is currently only six weeks so we aren't going to have much of one, but want to establish early.

We currently come upstairs at nine (ish) bath nappy free time then pjs and bed with her white nose. We just stay upstairs by then in bed with tv down low abs lights off.

She currently won't sleep before 10pm abs we have rhr god awful "witching hours" 5-10

Our routine is that the baby goes to bed between 8pm-9pm and so do we as we’re knackered.

I use a video monitor and go to bed about hour and a half to two hours after her! I’m fully aware of sids research and small risks but the theory that she regulates her breathing by listening to mine in the living room with the tv on doesn’t wash! Decent quality sleep matters so much for babies I’d rather she was in a cool dark room , closely watched for a short spell than disturbed by noise and lights downstairs. It’s all a personal judgement