First time mummy and sleep deprived!

[Wildflower2021]

Hi all,

I'm a first time mummy to a lovely 3 week old girl. Initially she was great at sleeping and only waking for feeds and settling down quite quickly. Now she won't fall asleep unless she is lieing on my chest. She's also often wide awake at bedtime. When she does fall asleep on me and I put her in her cot she wakes up straight away. Usually at about 5am she then takes to being put down in her cot and will continue to be ok with this throughout the day as long as she's already asleep when going in.

I'm just wondering is this all normal? And should I be doing anything differently at the moment? (I realise that the falling asleep on me will probably need to change as she gets a bit older).

I think I'm finding the cycle of putting her down and then having to pick her up continuously until 5am quite tricky but may feel a bit better if I knew this was normal!

Thanks for reading

Xx

Totally normal. It does get better soon! Try swaddling, inclining the mattress and very loud white noise

Yep. That's my life too with my newborn! It's the fourth trimester.

Thanks both for the reassurance! I feel a lot better that it's not just me! Xx

Google the Fourth Trimester! Also you don't have to stop her napping on you, unless you want her to. (Typed whilst I soak up my 15 month old's cuddles.)

A white noise machine also works very well for us.

Yes I have delegated chores to my partner whilst I am in charge of cuddles.

She's also often wide awake at bedtime

Forget about bedtime. At the moment bedtime is whenever she sleeps. That could mean that you nap several times in a 24 hour period. Or that you sleep during the dat. Or whatever works in your case.

Do what works for you. It will get better. And enjoy how cute they are right now and that they don't pull away when you cuddle them again and again.

@wombatspoopcubes

She's also often wide awake at bedtime

Forget about bedtime. At the moment bedtime is whenever she sleeps. That could mean that you nap several times in a 24 hour period. Or that you sleep during the dat. Or whatever works in your case.

Do what works for you. It will get better. And enjoy how cute they are right now and that they don't pull away when you cuddle them again and again.

Good point! :)

what everyone else has said, 4th trimester!
they love falling asleep on you because it's safe and lovely and they are used to listening to your heartbeat. bliss

I always suggest to new mums to look up Priscilla Dunsten's Baby language interview on the Oprah show (YouTube).
it's perfect when you don't know why your baby cries - one type of cry means they are tired so if you put them in bed then they should soon fall asleep.
it's really worth taking a look at.

apart from that carry on with baby cuddles.
my 7yo fell asleep on me a few months ago, gorgeous as it was it's just not the same🤣

Congratulations!

Totally normal, little one just loves being on you! It’s hard to put them in cot like this, I found it so difficult but when I introduced dummy at week 4 (after establishing breastfeeding) she was a lot more comforted than without,…. Still took time to put her down but it’s a lot less stressful :) we have a morning cuddle when Im awake and rested so she can have a nap on me then !
I don’t swaddle (midwifes said it’s not too great for sleep) I’d rather my little one have arm movement in case she rolls and she kicks her blanket off herself if she’s hot

I’m week 5 and am exactly the same. She’s currently on my chest sleeping now. I’ve found swaddling has really helped her to stay asleep for longer in her cot and it has got better over time. Sometimes she’ll cry for a cuddle so she’s got into bed with us and she’ll go straight back to sleep. I think things are pushed on us on what we ‘should’ be doing but do what’s right for you and your baby. A happy baby and a happy mum is all that matters.

Of course it's normal.