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Sleep

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Original poster

Newborn won’t sleep anywhere but our arms

43 replies

sittingwaitingwishing · 28/07/2021 16:06

Hello!
I know this has been posted a million times before but looking for any advice.
I’m a FTM and our baby is only 12 days old, so still very young. The first few days at home, we were able to put her to sleep in her Snuzpod and there she stayed for a few hours at a time asleep, but now she will only fall asleep when she’s being held, night or day. I know a lot of people will say it’s very normal and still so early, but how do you transition so that she will sleep in her crib? Do you just keep persisting each day to see if she will do it? I feel a bit clueless and already sleep deprived - the nights are particularly hard and myself and my husband are having to take shifts to hold her.
Any advice welcome!!

OP posts:

BluebellsGreenbells · 01/08/2021 13:12

I found a quick transfer helped! Cover their eyes with a cloth so if they do open their eyes they quickly shut again (only for the transfer bit! Remove once in the cot)

Doughnut100 · 01/08/2021 13:26

This was my cry for help and there were so many helpful responses:

Can she sleep on me while I sleep? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/4235502-can-she-sleep-on-me-while-i-sleep

Original poster

sittingwaitingwishing · 01/08/2021 15:36

Thank you all again for all your advice - it really is comforting to hear so many other people have experienced this and I hope that in a few weeks time, things might start to get a little better.
We have tried swaddling with mixed success - sometimes she manages to wriggle free, sometimes she seems to relax into it and settle.
She is currently EBF @SJMACC - I think she is getting enough milk at the moment but it’s certainly something to think about.
@Doughnut100 Thank you for sharing your thread - lots of good advice and kind words there too. I hope things are better for you now?

OP posts:

MotherOfDragon20 · 01/08/2021 20:27

Once sleeping try lowering her down on her side and then once in the crib lying on her side roll her into her back as per safe sleeping guidance. They don’t get the startle reflex which is often what wakes them up when they are lowered on their side. Took my a few months to figure this out but it’s an absolute game changer.

VoyageInTheDark · 01/08/2021 21:40

@Doughnut100 thanks for the link to your thread, there were a lot of interesting and helpful responses. Hope your baby is sleeping better!

TheSkatesOfCoachBombay · 01/08/2021 21:54

Congratulations on your little one OP!

It's a phase and will pass. DS was only settled in arms for the first 2/3 weeks.

We used to pop a hot water bottle in the Moses basket to warm it up, and also just now and again nothing militant try and pop him down in it. I also would seep with the Moses basket next to the bed and if he started to stir I'd flop my hand in to the basket and say shhh and grip his little hand, it would sometimes settle him. It's like he just wanted to know I was still there and could smell me.

By about 4 weeks we moved him out of the Moses basket and in to the crib. Again we would place a hot water bottle in the crib to warm it up. Crib was in our room till he was 1. And if he became unsettled I would often just push my hand between the bars and hold his hand and he would drop off. wont lie spent the odd night on the floor with my hand through the cot rails all night

WetWeekends · 01/08/2021 22:04

I would try the love to dream swaddle up wrap. They’re so easy to use and keep them in a very natural position. With my 2nd DC I had them in the swaddle wrap and put them in a next to me crib attached to the bed. I’d lie on the bed and stroke her and shush her, she used to cry a little bit, but it was a complaining cry/moan. If she ever got very upset I’d pick her up for a cuddle or feed her, but while she was just complaining I’d carry on until she was asleep. I never let her get distressed but it did seem to teach her to sleep not in my arms a lot sooner than my first DC.

SaveWaterDrinkGin · 01/08/2021 22:19

Do you know how to breastfeed lying down and safely cosleep? This was a game changer with my babies until they were ready to go into a crib.

Original poster

sittingwaitingwishing · 12/08/2021 09:23

Thought I would post an update on here as maybe it will help anyone in similar situations!
Baby girl is now sleeping the whole night in her crib - she wakes up twice a night to feed and always settles quickly and calmly back after her feed/change.
Day naps are still tricky and she generally still has cuddles in our arms, but the last few days she has slept in her pram in the evenings if we swaddle her up, play white noise and leave her to settle.
I know it won’t always go well but wanted to share as, just like everyone said, a little bit of time was all it needed for her to settle more on her own. It really can feel overwhelming in these early weeks!

OP posts:

CourtneyCox2021 · 12/08/2021 19:43

All normal and I would have written similar post 5 months almost 6 months ago.

Swaddle, white/pink (may prefer the pink my LO does) noise, pop ur pillow in moses basket to keep warm and to smell like you. I used to do the trick sitting on bed holding her until she was asleep, then transfer to our bed so not to much of a change in temps specially if you choose somewhere you just sat. Then when they asleep deeply transfer.oh and a dummy.

At about 4 months after great tips from fate destiny I used to settle LO to sleep in cot - look posts up when it's time. It gets better. My LO will now be put into cot without much of a fuss and self soothe xx

Lumosmaximos · 31/03/2023 14:12

Hi OP @sittingwaitingwishing thank you very much for your update. In case you will see this message, we are going through the same issue with our 3 weeks old baby - sleeping in our arms only throughout the day. I am desperate for at least one or two naps in the moses basket so that I can get some things done. Was wondering at what stage did your baby start napping during the day on their own? And if you kept trying every day or gave up and suddenly one day it just changed? Thank you!

Glitterstars · 31/03/2023 14:17

Swaddling worked with my first, but this time we have to co sleep following the safe sleep info and still doing it 5 months in but we get good sleep and it’s not forever

Original poster

sittingwaitingwishing · 01/04/2023 05:42

Hi @Lumosmaximos - I know how hard those first few weeks are, I’m sure you’re doing an amazing job! When I look back on my original post, I realise how quickly that phase passed but it felt like it was going on forever at the time.
My LO started to sleep longer stretches in the cot at night but naps were still very hit and miss in the cot until she was about 2 or 3 months old. I did keep trying to put her down in her cot for a nap but it took a while. Her first morning nap seemed to be the one that ‘clicked’ first and she started to do short stretches in the cot. In those early days, I got into a routine of going for a long walk in the late morning so she could sleep in the pram and I could get some fresh air, and then in the afternoon we generally had a cuddly nap together on the sofa. It felt impossible to get jobs done sometimes when she wouldn’t nap in the cot but I enlisted help where I could.
Good luck!

OP posts:

Lumosmaximos · 01/04/2023 19:33

Thank you very much for your response @sittingwaitingwishing ! It sounds very similar - our baby sleeps in moses basket at night as well as the first nap after the night. The rest in our arms only. It also takes longer to put him to sleep during the day comparing to night for some reason. I am curious what is it at night that is not there during the day that makes them agree to sleeep on their own.
It sounds easy - just sit all day watch netflix but it is really hard to be nap trapped for the whole day not knowing if it will take another few weeks or months....

fugly1 · 01/04/2023 19:37

Very normal!!! My little one didn't nap independently until about 10 months.

Original poster

sittingwaitingwishing · 01/04/2023 19:57

I do empathise with how hard it feels and I felt exactly the same. My LO was exactly the same too with being happier in the cot at night compared to in the day and I couldn’t work out why - but now I look back and wonder why I worried about it so much at the time. All I can say is it does get better with time - keep persisting and you will get there 💐

OP posts:

Flittingaboutagain · 01/04/2023 19:59

Hi OP so I'm here with my next baby now, going through the same thing and I thought wow this seems so familiar. I actually had to look and check it wasn't my post. Then I realised I responded to your original post myself! My baby is the same age now and my first was when you posted in 2021. You're so right. It goes so quickly!

Lumosmaximos · 01/04/2023 20:50

I just find it really hard to enjoy it as people suggest unless I am doing it wrong! Basically I just sit in the armchair all day surrounded by everything I might need and watch netflix and YouTube. I eat with one hand. I go the the toilet whenever baby wakes up and I leave him on the floor. When my husband comes back from work he holds him however at exact that time at around 7pm all baby wants is boob and feeds for a long time. So I can't really benefit from my husband's free arms much. Baby hates sling so I can't free up my hands at all. I will try to go for walks next week hoping that baby sleeps in the pram. But imagining every day like this for the next 2 months is just really hard to accept...

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