Feeling lost... 2 week old baby fighting sleep

[Blabbyoak]

Hi all,

I've a 2 week old boy (my second baby but 7yrs in between).
He will mostly feed to sleep, but the past two days (yes growth spurt time) he is more alert, more fussy and much harder to settle - to be expected.
He's mixed fed, but last night point blank refused the boob (heartbreaking after working extra hard to ensure I had milk this time round). Evenings are so hard. He just cries all the time, feeding constantly on and off throughout.
He won't take a dummy most of the time, just spits it out, or gags on it.

My question is.... What kind of routine should I be doing with him?
We try and fit him around dd 7yo bedtime routine but it's not really working and he just screams throughout. I think he's very windy too, always farting, but hard to burp, which doesn't help.
What did you do with your 2-4 week old?
What was there awake/nap schedule?
How did you teach them to self settle?

I know it's early, and I know he's still super small, but I want to be ahead of the game with him as our first ended up nearly ruining us with terrible sleep and I can already see those little quirks sneaking in.

I don’t think you can really have a routine with a 2 week old, it’s the 4th trimester and they are still adjusting to being outside the womb.
I didn’t start “sleep training” until 5/6 months. You just have to get through the early months. Some babies sleep through, some don’t. The parents whose babies sleep through think it is something they did, it’s not.

He's 2 weeks there is no routine for him as he is far too young.

He is feeding on and off during a few hours then he's cluster feeding and it's normal.

With mine:
Mostly hold and feed during the day.

From about 6pm sit on the sofa and feed and cuddle.

Take to bed when I go about 10pm.

What did you do with your 2-4 week old?
Cuddle, feed and change her. It was a blur until about 2.5 months as until she could see she had to be held by one of us to sleep most of the time.

What was there awake/nap schedule?
All over the place.

Until she went to the childminders at just under 10 months she didn't have a schedule.

How did you teach them to self settle?
Didn't.

Around 2.5 months she just slept on her own in a cot for 6 hours. We woke up in a panic thinking something was wrong.

Thanks all. I guess I'm just feeling utterly overwhelmed by this again. I fear having another terrible sleeper, like my first dd, who nearly broke me.
Today's been super hard, baby has fed and catnapped all day, not had a stretch of sleep longer than 25 mins at all.
He's completely overtired and I cannot get him to settle. Crying feeding crying feeding crying then wide awake then crying etc...
He's very windy too which is not helping matters either.
Feeling very tired

I couldn't read and run OP 6.5 year gap here and I really had those oh my goodness what have we done moments. My youngest was born just into school summer holidays too a d it was relentless.

My advice would be do whatever you can to get through the holidays with a newborn and an active 7 year old, remembering that in a few weeks you will have that just you and baby time. Fingers crossed by then things will have settled and you will be able to doze when baby sleeps etc. Do you have a baby carrier? I remember that was super helpful so I could still play with the older one. hang in there it does get easier and is so worth it!

Thank you Cornishbelle. Sounds like you've been through a similar experience.
Everything is so overwhelming, I've find myself worrying about getting dd lunch ready, getting her to bed without her feeling hard done by. Worrying about the fact I can't take her anywhere coz I've had a section and can't drive. It's all so harsh.
Throw into that trying to keep baby calm while dh works in the next room and it's a recipe for disaster. That's how it feels anyway. Feeding all day, makes me want to give up and ff ds, for some respite but I know I should persist.

@Blabbyoak I've got a two year old and a four month old. Two kids is tough. Of any age gap.

Ds (4 months) mostly just has to fit into dd's schedule. Sure, she watches too much telly while I feed him. And sure, sometimes he doesn't nap because she's too loud (today he had 4 'naps' totalling less than 45 mins).

Getting him to fall asleep on his own when he was two weeks? I was lucky. I'd put him in his cot sleepy and he's tilt his head to the side and fall asleep. Dd at the same age? Rock her, with a boob in her mouth, with white noise while doing a one-handed handstand. I exaggerate but only slightly...

My point is: it's early days. All baby's are different. Dd can learn some patience while her schedule is a little interrupted. Low expectations. Be kinder to yourself.

When dd was two weeks old, I felt I'd really achieved something if we all got dressed that day.

@physicskate thanks for the pep talk. I'm too hard on myself, poor character trait of mine.
Dd is very understanding, she's playing a lot of Nintendo ds at the moment, but that's OK. It's me that feels bad for her. She's coping well so far.
Just found out I've an infection from my section too, which may not be helping how I'm feeling.
Off to the docs tomorrow for antibiotics.

If baby is farting lots and generally unsettled, is there something you're eating that's passing onto them and giving them indigestion?

It's early days, but my DS had bad silent reflux which caused feeding problems.

@nerfelite it could be, but I've not eaten anything in unusual, spicy or strong. Toast and cornflakes in the morning and crumpets and salad for lunch the past two days. Evenings, we bottle feed him with aptamil, so not sure my dinners affect the milk?
Gosh, so many unknowns!
We opened up the dentinox drops a friend gave us tonight so let's see if they help. Infacol did diddly squat with dd, so not holding out much hope.

@Blabbyoak congratulations. I have a nine week old, 5 and 8 year old so I can relate. At two weeks as have been said there's no routine for baby. Mine just cluster fed like crazy. You just feed, sleep, change, repeat.
If possible can your husband look after your daughters lunches and dinners for the next day during the week or when he's working? That way you don't have to worry about her lunches and dinners. Also depending on the type of job can he hold baby for about 15 mins to give you a break?
Now at nine weeks she's starting to wake almost every 3 hours at night. From experience with my two it does get slightly easier from around 12 weeks but the first 6-8 weeks are intense. Hope you got antibiotics for the wound. Try and get some rest because the more rest you get the quicker you will recover.

In the evening how long is he at the breast before coming off?

Does he do a few sucks then cry? This could be reflux or an allergy/intolerance rather than cluster feeding.

Did you use a Birthing ball before labour? The love the familiar bounce so this may soothe him if he's really upset.

Hi all, he's on the breast for between 5 to 20 minutes, every half hour or so, but sometimes it's a few sucks and off. I had put that down to not liking let down as when he does that I'm dripping milk everyehere. This afternoon he has slept from 2.30pm to 4pm, woke for a feed and back to sleep again till now.... 18.40hrs! Unbelievable!
Had visitors though so no sleep for me today. Wound check at the docs revealed possibly no infection but a collection of blood and fluid. So in a way, that's good news. It's so sore though.

Husband is fab. He's been taking a lunchbreak to hold baby for a bit for me so I can rest/have a break.

Ah op just a bit of reassurance that they're all different, my Dd was a really shit sleeper, we sleep trained at 6m, worked with a sleep consultant age 4yrs, she still has some sleep issues age 6yrs. My ds was also a shit sleep from 4m-10m, asleep trained then and has slept through virtually every night since, he's 4yo. I understand the fear of going down the same path but I wouldn't necessarily think it'll go that way. Fingers crossed for you.

Might be worth ringing the support groups Xx

Also has he been checked for tongue tie?

No, no checks for tongue tie that I'm aware of. I had a lot of support getting feeding going in hospital and none of the staff were concerned for tongue tie x