2.5 year old is terrible at bedtime

[Thegirlhasnoname]

No matter whether she naps during the day or not, DD will kick off at bedtime (even if she is yawning her head off and rubbing her eyes) because “doesn’t want to go to bed”. DH has been sat with her for almost an hour now and she is just relentlessly crying that she wants to get out of bed despite us being able to tell she is tired.

She has always had bath, book, bed but she has started doing this for the past month or so and honestly getting sick of it. She doesn’t appear to have any problems staying asleep once she goes down (or nightmares etc) but her actually going to bed is honestly the worst part of our bed. Getting to the point of what’s the point of reading her bedtime stories or doing any semblance of a bedtime routine when she is actively forcing herself to stay awake.

The other day she asked for her “bed walls” to go away (the sides are still on her cot) but the sides being up are the only things that will keep her in bed.

Anybody had anything similar or have some magic solution?

Some days it is so bad that leaving her to cry herself to sleep seems preferable than the constant arguments she has with us if we are anywhere near her bedroom (do not agree with cry it out)

(Worse part of our day that is meant to say 🤦🏻‍♀️)

I don't think there is a magic solution, sorry! At that age they start getting fomo and don't want to turn off for sleep. Plenty of fresh air and exercise might help.

DS does it at the moment (he's 2 and a few months). Sometimes we sit or stand by the cot and tell stories til he's asleep. Sometimes when he's tired, I honestly think leaving them to cry it out is the best option of they're going to be more distressed by seeing you but still being redirected to go to sleep. You can just drag things out by picking them up then putting them in the cot again and again if they hate it each time.
Keep with the routine though!

That was expected to go to sleep!

The stories I tell are very boring, like talking about cars in a monotone because ds loves them. For DD I used to sometimes just sit there and count to 100 or beyond. Anything for them to listen to that is very boring!

It is counter intuitive, but starting the bed time routine half an hour earlier befire she gets over tired and over stimulated can be helpful.

Is she upset-crying or angry-shouting? My DS is a few months younger but is similar at the moment however he is definitely more annoyed that we've dared to put him in his cot so we generally just leave him to shout and rail about the injustices in his life. If he starts to cry or get upset, we go in and comfort him but otherwise just try and ignore him.

You’d think she would get to sleep better on the 3 days a week she goes to nursery and plays outside all day but no luck there.

mynameiscalypso it is neither really. The vast majority of the time it is that really grating pretend crying that all toddlers seem to have mastered. Then she will shout at the top of her voice, inevitably waking her little brother up, for us to get her out of bed because she wants to go for a walk/have a bath/ring grandma/have breakfast or any other delay tactic

@Thegirlhasnoname

You’d think she would get to sleep better on the 3 days a week she goes to nursery and plays outside all day but no luck there.

mynameiscalypso it is neither really. The vast majority of the time it is that really grating pretend crying that all toddlers seem to have mastered. Then she will shout at the top of her voice, inevitably waking her little brother up, for us to get her out of bed because she wants to go for a walk/have a bath/ring grandma/have breakfast or any other delay tactic

What time do you start bedtime? Our DD same age has always been a terrible sleeper but we do have some success when we change up the bedtime routine around (normally get 4 good days out of her!). We also explain all day what's going to happen, and then we are very strict. I'm nice mum until it's bedtime and then I'm very strict, explaining each step what we are doing and if she tries to play up I shut it down by reiterating the next steps. Once she is in bed I say goodnight and tell her she has been to the toilet, had a drink, has her teddy, (whatever your routine plus her standard excuses entail) and I'm not talking any more. I lie with her because she needs that comfort, but being super strict (sometimes) reduces bedtime from 1.5 hours to 40 mins which is more manageable. It's painful it really is, but we've got to the stage where some nights are better and that's made it easier 😬 hoping she just outgrows it...! I don't know how helpful that it but if nothing else, I feel your pain!

Oh jeez we've had this with all 3 of ours around same age.
The only way for us was letting them cry and leaving them too it
Not speaking just putting back to bed.

I'd take the sides off, worst case you can put them back on in a week.

I'd also recommend audiobooks and say she can have it on as long as she stays in bed. It means you can leave! Try famiload stories first like mog, Julia Donaldson or Disney

My LO is 2.5 and in a cot bed. We removed the sides ages ago (he climbed out - that was fun!) but found that by treating it as his 'big boy bed' he found it more exciting to go to sleep... sometimes if he is missing a cuddly toy, he will get up and cry at the gate, but will soon resettle himself.

Not sure if putting in a 'big' bed will help?

We've had this with all 4 of ours from around the same age. It is a phase and it will pass. I know that's not helpful now but once ours were through it they went to bed wonderfully. The older ones know even now that once it's bedtime, you can read, play etc but you don't come back downstairs unless it's really necessary

We are going through this at the moment with our 2.5 DS and last night we left him to cry it out (we went to his door halfway through to tell him it was bedtime and that he should go to sleep). He went to bed after 20 mins of crying but that meant the time from bath to bed was 1.5hrs where it’s usually been 30 mins the past. I’m hoping he’ll get over this phase soon. Hope your DD gets over it too

She went up to bed at just after 7 and was asleep by 20 past so much improved compared to recent nights

Now to try figure out if it was something that we did or if it was the suggestion that she could have a sticker in the morning if she had a good sleep… 😂