3 month old won't nap in day

[lill07]

Hi everyone,

I've been scrolling through the sleep thread last night and found some good advice but wanted to get thoughts on my LO sleep issue.

We are not 100% in a routine yet, every day is different and we have just returned from 2 week staycation so perhaps this has messed up what little routine we had.

Basically my LO won't nap in the day anymore, if he does it is only every for 30 minutes max but this ranges from a few minutes and longest has been 3 hours, but I have no idea why that was.

He is EBF on demand and I usually end up resorting to nursing to sleep, just due to him getting worked up and upset from attempts to get him to nap. I feel that's all I'm doing each day.

He can't self soothe at the moment and isn't fussed on dummy so spits this out if I try and put it in. He has never been swaddled as he is quite a windy baby and throws his legs up in air quite a bit. But this has improved recently after consistent use of infacol.

It's getting to the point where the missed naps mean he can be awake longer than 6 hours and by end of day is a nightmare to get down for night. However once he is down he sleeps well through night, this usually happens around 10 or 11, I don't do anything different from what I have attempted leading up to this, he seems to just suddenly stay asleep. He goes from 10.30-11pm until 4 or 5 waking for feed only and then until 8 ish in morning.

Any suggestions for getting him to sleep and staying asleep even for an hour in day would be appreciated. We either rock, in arms or pram or I nurse to sleep. I also then put on sofa or in Moses once asleep, if he is on sofa I don't leave and he is watched, this is only as he seems to stay asleep longer there than transferring to Moses (sometimes).

He recently has started to hate being cradled so he is either upright on me over my shoulder and has been rocked to sleep in this position or sat facing outwards, but won't go off like this. I feel like I don't know how to get him to sleep anymore, he won't go off on his own if I lay him awake in Moses, he ends up crying and I have tried leaving him but it only gets more hysterical.

Have you tried white noise? My DD wouldn’t sleep anywhere but my arms for the first 4 months but even rocking couldn’t get her to sleep when she was overtired so I tried white noise and it worked a treat. She still uses it now at 14 months.

Make sure you don’t leave him awake too long, as overtiredness will make it harder to sleep.

If he wakes at 8am, feed him, do a little bit of playing then start putting him back to sleep by 9.
If 9 is too early to go for a walk in the pram then I would use a sling or a swinging chair for movement inside. White noise is also a good call.

Later awake times can be a bit longer, 90 minutes - 2 hours. Keep to a routine of wake-feed-play-sleep throughout the day.
If you have to walk with the pram for an hour to get a good nap then I would do it.
I’d also introduce a comforter now for sleep times.

@Vicky1989x

Have you tried white noise? My DD wouldn’t sleep anywhere but my arms for the first 4 months but even rocking couldn’t get her to sleep when she was overtired so I tried white noise and it worked a treat. She still uses it now at 14 months.

Yep we use white noise, this definitely helps him get off to sleep in the pram, it does switch off after set time so perhaps need one that stays on constantly?

@zoeydollie

Make sure you don’t leave him awake too long, as overtiredness will make it harder to sleep.

If he wakes at 8am, feed him, do a little bit of playing then start putting him back to sleep by 9.
If 9 is too early to go for a walk in the pram then I would use a sling or a swinging chair for movement inside. White noise is also a good call.

Later awake times can be a bit longer, 90 minutes - 2 hours. Keep to a routine of wake-feed-play-sleep throughout the day.
If you have to walk with the pram for an hour to get a good nap then I would do it.
I’d also introduce a comforter now for sleep times.

He does end up staying awake a long time but that's usually because he is so hard to get off to sleep, if he does it's then only for 10-15 minutes and I feel like I'm starting cycle again or he is due a feed. He definitely gets overtired in the day, feels like he now starts the day tired already

Agree with trying a nap after the first hour of being awake.

Don't really agree with feed then play then sleep though, especially in a BF baby as feeding is usually the one thing that guaranteed to get them to sleep. You'll send yourself nuts fighting their instincts.

Have you tried the No Cry Nap Solution?

I have the AVANTEK Sleep White Noise Machine and it can stay on constantly. It's my life saver and still use it at 2!
I agree with trying trying him down for first nap an hour or so after waking.
I also had to resort to a pram nap every day as he used to fight the afternoon one so I used to always take him out for it so I know he would drop off!

I found life much easier if you have a baby who can fall asleep without feeding. Easier to put to bed, easier to leave with other people, more likely to sleep through the night as not reliant on you to get them back to sleep if they stir.

At that age, I was doing a couple of naps a day in the sling and trying for a longer lunchtime nap by contact napping and transferring him. Longer naps in the cot started around 5 months.

I found life much easier if you have a baby who can fall asleep without feeding. Easier to put to bed, easier to leave with other people, more likely to sleep through the night as not reliant on you to get them back to sleep if they stir.

Perhaps but the eat then play then sleep is the theory of Tracey Hogg, the Baby Whisperer. It's not evidence based and the book is actually on the Kellymom Books to Avoid List as it's so BFing unfriendly.

Lots of BFing Mums like them being fed to sleep as they do actually sleep and lots of babies grow out of being fed to sleep before a year anyway.

It’s not really a “theory”, it’s just a way of organising your day.

Basically my LO won't nap in the day anymore, if he does it is only every for 30 minutes max...

Any suggestions for getting him to sleep and staying asleep even for an hour in day would be appreciated.

You need a bit setting realistic expectations in regards to staying asleep longer. Outside of the newborn stage, shorter naps are normal. So you'd be best advised to not worry about 20-40 minute naps because they would be developmentally appropriate.

The key is - reduce awake time because naps are short. 1h awake time throughout the day, as mentioned by other posters, is about right.

isn't fussed on dummy so spits this out if I try and put it in

Keep persisting with the dummy.

To make the EASY: Eat (feed), Activity (play), Sleep, You time, work you need a way to get baby to sleep that isn't feeding to sleep.

The dummy allows for this.

Sleeping in something that can move also helps when trying to not feed to sleep - bouncy chair or pram for example. These make it easier to try and resettle baby to lengthen the nap.

@BunnyRuddington

Agree with trying a nap after the first hour of being awake.

Don't really agree with feed then play then sleep though, especially in a BF baby as feeding is usually the one thing that guaranteed to get them to sleep. You'll send yourself nuts fighting their instincts.

Have you tried the No Cry Nap Solution?

Thanks for you message, I've ordered the no cry solution book, be good to get some more tips, he is definitley a cat baller, had a better day today , has had 3 naps but not longer than 30 minutes and he still shows signs of being tired. I'm limiting wake windows to 1 hour but it's still taking some time to settle him for a nap!

@zoeydollie

I found life much easier if you have a baby who can fall asleep without feeding. Easier to put to bed, easier to leave with other people, more likely to sleep through the night as not reliant on you to get them back to sleep if they stir.

He sometimes fusses on me so he isn't reliant on feeding to sleep, it's something I resort to if we are having a bad day/night and he was been awake for and extended period. My OH is a master at rocking him to sleep in pram!

@cookiesandcreamm

I have the AVANTEK Sleep White Noise Machine and it can stay on constantly. It's my life saver and still use it at 2! I agree with trying trying him down for first nap an hour or so after waking. I also had to resort to a pram nap every day as he used to fight the afternoon one so I used to always take him out for it so I know he would drop off!

Thanks for the recommendation will definitely look at getting this one, he does settle with white noise.

He is ready for nap in morning just takes a little persistence to get him down. I've done all three naps in pram today which have lasted 30 minutes. I did first on me as needed to trim his nails, but attempted to put him down after and he woke

@Carbis

At that age, I was doing a couple of naps a day in the sling and trying for a longer lunchtime nap by contact napping and transferring him. Longer naps in the cot started around 5 months.

Perhaps I'm expecting too much, it's just he seems so tired but never gives in to the nap, it's affected our bedtime routine where it's taken hours to settle a very upset and overtired baby.

@FATEdestiny

Basically my LO won't nap in the day anymore, if he does it is only every for 30 minutes max...

Any suggestions for getting him to sleep and staying asleep even for an hour in day would be appreciated.

You need a bit setting realistic expectations in regards to staying asleep longer. Outside of the newborn stage, shorter naps are normal. So you'd be best advised to not worry about 20-40 minute naps because they would be developmentally appropriate.

The key is - reduce awake time because naps are short. 1h awake time throughout the day, as mentioned by other posters, is about right.

isn't fussed on dummy so spits this out if I try and put it in

Keep persisting with the dummy.

To make the EASY: Eat (feed), Activity (play), Sleep, You time, work you need a way to get baby to sleep that isn't feeding to sleep.

The dummy allows for this.

Sleeping in something that can move also helps when trying to not feed to sleep - bouncy chair or pram for example. These make it easier to try and resettle baby to lengthen the nap.

Thank you, I've been mindful of the wake windows today and put him down for nap at appropriate time, he is stubborn to get down but eventually fallen asleep with rocking in pram and white noise, he keeps spitting out dummy but will persist with it. I've ordered a couple more varieties in case it's the shape, he did used to like them but recently doesn't seem fussed. He tries to find his thumb but hasn't quite got there and ends up putting his fingers in his mouth.

I wasn't sure if the cat napping was ok at this stage, as he does seem tired after he wakes up. He has on occasion gone down for 3-3.5 hours but it's rare, I don't know why he does this sometimes and not others. Could something be waking him up as he transitions to next sleep cycle?

Do you keep him moving as he transitions from one sleep cycle to the next? Walk him in the pram and if he stirs or wakes after 30 minutes can you just keep walking?

@zoeydollie

Do you keep him moving as he transitions from one sleep cycle to the next? Walk him in the pram and if he stirs or wakes after 30 minutes can you just keep walking?

To be honest I haven't tried this yet, i think he wakes up to much for me to help him back to sleep when we are in the house, but I will try this on our next walk to see if I can get him to transition to next sleep cycle. Is that the reason for the short naps because he can't link his sleep cycles yet?

Yes, the short naps are because he can’t link his sleep cycles. He will need to be taught how to do this with persistent resettling. Are you trying to get him to sleep in a dark room? It makes a huge difference. As does a consistent wind down and settling routine. Do the exact same thing every single time. He is in an over tired cycle; so yes, he will be waking up tired and staying tired which is why he’s so hard to get down every time. It’s such a hard stage when they’re like this. Apparently it does get better about 5 months when they’re better able to link sleep cycles

With one of mine, I would always have to walk about 45/50 minutes for the lunch time nap so that we went into the second sleep cycle - I could come home after the 50 minute mark and she would continue sleeping up to another hour in the pram in the hallway.
Morning and later afternoon naps would be about 40 minutes and coincided with school runs for the older children at 9am and 3pm.
It just meant an early bedtime for a while as she would wake from her last nap before 4pm and need to go to bed by 6.30pm latest.