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Is the 4 month sleep regression inevitable?

29 replies

MumOfBoys16 · 24/07/2021 22:15

Tell me.. is the 4 month sleep regression always awful? Are there children it doesn't impact? ... and most importantly can I do anything before to prevent or lessen it? DS Blue 6 weeks now.

OP posts:
billiebeeme · 24/07/2021 22:35

My first slept through from 6 weeks no sleep regression. 2nd isn't a great sleeper but not awful she really settled down about 4 months and started sleeping through quite often. She seemed to regress about 6/7 months though.

NavigatingAdolescence · 24/07/2021 22:38

DD hit all of them. I took the view that they were good because they showed she was developing as she should be (they’re linked to massive brain leaps). Just did whatever it took to get through them and lowered my already low expectations for everything else accordingly.

3WildOnes · 24/07/2021 22:40

None of my babies had a four month sleep regression.

FATEdestiny · 24/07/2021 22:46

is the 4 month sleep regression always awful? Are there children it doesn't impact?

No and yes.

... and most importantly can I do anything before to prevent or lessen it?

Exclusive bottle feeding from 3 or 4 weeks will make a significant difference.

NavigatingAdolescence · 24/07/2021 22:48

@FATEdestiny

is the 4 month sleep regression always awful? Are there children it doesn't impact?

No and yes.

... and most importantly can I do anything before to prevent or lessen it?

Exclusive bottle feeding from 3 or 4 weeks will make a significant difference.

I thought formula had been debunked as the holy grail of sleeping.

And you’re kinda ignoring the biological norm there in favour of parental convenience. Confused

NavigatingAdolescence · 24/07/2021 22:49

www.swansea.ac.uk/humanandhealthsciences/news-and-events/latest-research/sleeplessnightsnewresearchfindsbabiesshouldwakeatnight.php

My DD was bottle fed exclusively, but with breast milk. So how does that work?

FATEdestiny · 24/07/2021 22:51

Your formula fed babies (from birth, or a few weeks) will sleep easier.

ladygindiva · 24/07/2021 22:54

I'd never heard of the 4 month sleep regression until very recently. When I had dd1 in 1998 it didn't exist, or if it did, no one talked about it. None of my 3 experienced it.

Northernsoullover · 24/07/2021 22:54

This wasn't a thing when mine were little. Does it exist? I did do a search for some academic literature on it but to no avail.
My youngest slept beautifully from birth and did not regress. My eldest was shite from birth to 2.

ladygindiva · 24/07/2021 22:55

Yes just want to add my bf baby was BY FAR the best sleeper of my 3, the other 2 were ff. Its bullshit that bottle feeding creates better sleepers in my experience.

FATEdestiny · 24/07/2021 22:55

@NavigatingAdolescence I'm not after a Breast Is Best argument and will just ignore you of that what you're needling after. I was just answering the OP.

There no judgement time on me. I EBF 3 of my 4 children and now I'm a sleep consultant. Just very obvious anecdata on the subject.

(The link you posted headlines that babies should wake frequently - which I do not dispute. Not relevant to the facts I was suggesting though)

NavigatingAdolescence · 25/07/2021 01:02

@FATEdestiny

Your formula fed babies (from birth, or a few weeks) will sleep easier.
Above study says otherwise? 🤔
NavigatingAdolescence · 25/07/2021 01:08

[quote FATEdestiny]@NavigatingAdolescence I'm not after a Breast Is Best argument and will just ignore you of that what you're needling after. I was just answering the OP.

There no judgement time on me. I EBF 3 of my 4 children and now I'm a sleep consultant. Just very obvious anecdata on the subject.

(The link you posted headlines that babies should wake frequently - which I do not dispute. Not relevant to the facts I was suggesting though)[/quote]
I’m not needling for anything. Fed is best as far as I’m concerned.

The study showed that formula fed babies did not sleep better than breast fed babies. You’re saying they do, which without evidence is hard to believe in the face of the other study.

(That unrealistic expectations about infant sleep could cause someone (or multiple someones) to switch to formula due solely to a comment like yours - totally unsubstantiated - seems morally iffy, is all. Where is your evidence?)

NavigatingAdolescence · 25/07/2021 01:11

@ladygindiva

I'd never heard of the 4 month sleep regression until very recently. When I had dd1 in 1998 it didn't exist, or if it did, no one talked about it. None of my 3 experienced it.
It’s been studied since the 1940s.

www.nytimes.com/2020/04/15/parenting/baby/sleep-regression.html

Maggiesfarm · 25/07/2021 02:06

I'd never heard the term 'sleep regression' before joining Mumsnet. All I remember is that there were times when my children slept better than others, one went through a phase of waking up at 5am. None of that lasted long, we co-slept and generally had a good night's sleep.

Just play it by ear. Your baby is an individual and will let you know her needs.

I can guarantee when she is a teenager she will be sleeping for England! You'll be saying, "If you don't get up in five minutes you'll be late for school!". Then when they do stagger downstairs they can't find things and they leave most of their breakfast. I certainly remember those days very well :).

IonaLeg · 25/07/2021 02:40

It can help to know what’s going on at 4 months.

When your baby is a newborn, their default position once they have fallen asleep is to stay asleep until a biological imperative (hunger, cold, wet, etc) wakes them. This means you often get a golden period of sleep between about 3 and 4 months, where your baby can go long stretches without feeling hungry, and therefore stays asleep for hours at a time. This was exactly my experience - from 10 weeks to 20 weeks my baby would sleep from 9pm to 7am without waking.

At around 4 months your baby’s sleep matures into the pattern we still have as adults - sleep cycles which move between deep sleep and light sleep / wakefulness. In the periods of light sleep / wakefulness, your baby may wake fully and need resettled. This is a normal part of human sleep - as adults we wake between sleep cycles, but we usually fall back asleep without even realising we have woken.

What makes the difference to your sleep as a parent is whether or not your baby can get themselves back to sleep between cycles, or whether they need help. If they need help every time, you will experience frequent night wakings.

There are things you can do to help - the main one is helping your baby get used to falling asleep without intervention by you in their cot. However - not all babies can manage this. Mine was utterly inconsolable if put in the cot awake. He’s now 7 months and is only just beginning to be able to do this. If you have a baby who simply won’t tolerate being placed in a cot while awake, it’s very hard for them to link sleep cycles.

Alternatives you might consider are co-sleeping (see the lullaby trust on how to do this safely) or transferring your baby to the cot once asleep and accepting they’ll need your help to resettle.

Lots of sleep training is about helping your baby learn to ‘self soothe’. This is a bit of a myth. Babies can self-soothe - some babies will happily hum / babble / drift off to sleep themselves. But a baby who is distressed or disregulated can’t soothe themselves. So if you have a baby who is distressed in their crib, you can’t teach them to self-soothe by leaving them to cry etc. You can only teach them to shut down. A distressed baby needs intervention from their caregiver to be soothed. Babies learning to fall asleep on their own is largely a developmental milestone; you can’t force them before they’re ready.

That said, sleep training to an extent is possible from 6 months (as long as you have realistic expectations of what this means). I personally really like Lucy Wolfe’s book ‘The Baby Sleep Solution’, because it doesn’t ever suggest leaving your baby to cry. Instead, you stay with your baby and soothe them to sleep in their crib. This has really helped us with my baby.

So, in short - all babies go through the developmental leap of a maturing sleep cycle at around 4 months, but it won’t necessarily lead to worse sleep if your baby is capable of self soothing. If your baby can’t self soothe (which is very normal and common) you will likely experience night wakings. Having realistic expectations of baby sleep and support for night wakings can help you deal with this. Sleep training is possible to an extent, but any method involving leaving your baby to cry is essentially teaching them to shut down, not to self soothe.

Mattieandmummy · 25/07/2021 05:12

Exactly what she just said, perfectly put IMO

Realistic expectations will help you a long way, that and getting yourself into bed early

110APiccadilly · 25/07/2021 05:48

No, it's not inevitable. DD never had it (and at that point she was EBF and fed to sleep). I don't think there was anything I did though to cause it.

NavigatingAdolescence · 25/07/2021 09:00

@IonaLeg

It can help to know what’s going on at 4 months.

When your baby is a newborn, their default position once they have fallen asleep is to stay asleep until a biological imperative (hunger, cold, wet, etc) wakes them. This means you often get a golden period of sleep between about 3 and 4 months, where your baby can go long stretches without feeling hungry, and therefore stays asleep for hours at a time. This was exactly my experience - from 10 weeks to 20 weeks my baby would sleep from 9pm to 7am without waking.

At around 4 months your baby’s sleep matures into the pattern we still have as adults - sleep cycles which move between deep sleep and light sleep / wakefulness. In the periods of light sleep / wakefulness, your baby may wake fully and need resettled. This is a normal part of human sleep - as adults we wake between sleep cycles, but we usually fall back asleep without even realising we have woken.

What makes the difference to your sleep as a parent is whether or not your baby can get themselves back to sleep between cycles, or whether they need help. If they need help every time, you will experience frequent night wakings.

There are things you can do to help - the main one is helping your baby get used to falling asleep without intervention by you in their cot. However - not all babies can manage this. Mine was utterly inconsolable if put in the cot awake. He’s now 7 months and is only just beginning to be able to do this. If you have a baby who simply won’t tolerate being placed in a cot while awake, it’s very hard for them to link sleep cycles.

Alternatives you might consider are co-sleeping (see the lullaby trust on how to do this safely) or transferring your baby to the cot once asleep and accepting they’ll need your help to resettle.

Lots of sleep training is about helping your baby learn to ‘self soothe’. This is a bit of a myth. Babies can self-soothe - some babies will happily hum / babble / drift off to sleep themselves. But a baby who is distressed or disregulated can’t soothe themselves. So if you have a baby who is distressed in their crib, you can’t teach them to self-soothe by leaving them to cry etc. You can only teach them to shut down. A distressed baby needs intervention from their caregiver to be soothed. Babies learning to fall asleep on their own is largely a developmental milestone; you can’t force them before they’re ready.

That said, sleep training to an extent is possible from 6 months (as long as you have realistic expectations of what this means). I personally really like Lucy Wolfe’s book ‘The Baby Sleep Solution’, because it doesn’t ever suggest leaving your baby to cry. Instead, you stay with your baby and soothe them to sleep in their crib. This has really helped us with my baby.

So, in short - all babies go through the developmental leap of a maturing sleep cycle at around 4 months, but it won’t necessarily lead to worse sleep if your baby is capable of self soothing. If your baby can’t self soothe (which is very normal and common) you will likely experience night wakings. Having realistic expectations of baby sleep and support for night wakings can help you deal with this. Sleep training is possible to an extent, but any method involving leaving your baby to cry is essentially teaching them to shut down, not to self soothe.

What a fabulous post.
Aria2015 · 25/07/2021 09:07

No it's not. Neither of mine were effected by the 4 month sleep regression. I think having a routine helped (started that around 10-12 weeks) and having them mostly napping in their cots by then. My eldest dc didn't have regressions sleep wise, my youngest was fine until 9 months and then had a regression but it only lasted 2 weeks.

Aria2015 · 25/07/2021 09:08

Oh and both mine ebf and fed to sleep...

RicStar · 25/07/2021 09:14

Not inevitable. Didn't happen with dd or ds2, did for ds1 - he was also the only one to have a long phase of waking early in the morning.

NavigatingAdolescence · 25/07/2021 09:30

DD has never woken before 7am unless ill or we were getting a flight. Midnight till noon as a baby/toddler. She’s always loved staying up followed by a lie in. Smile

LJC1234 · 25/07/2021 09:32

We never hit 4 or 8 month regressions we hit a bit of a bump for 2 weeks at 12 months but all good again now so don't panic! It's absolutely not a given

JungleBeats · 25/07/2021 09:35

No regression here.

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