At wits end with sleeping situation

[Ohwellwhatevernevermind]

My DS is 9 months old and exclusively bf. He slept well in sleepyhead till around 4 months with one wake up on average. His wake ups then increased to 2,3,4,5 etc. He would only go back to sleep with the boob and would wake if I delatched before a hour. I would get him back to sleep then transfer to the cot in his room.

By around 7 months old as soon as I put him in the cot he would wake within minutes.

Through all these phases he would go to bed at 7 and be up around 5.

Out of desperation I started to cosleep at 7 months. He sleeps till 6 now but he wants to be on the boob most of the night and often wakes as soon as he comes off the boob. I am barely sleeping and feel physically and mentally on the edge. My partner does what he can but DS is so dependent on the boob that is all that settles him. He won’t take a dummy and rocking, soothing etc doesn’t get him back to sleep, only the boob. During the day he naps around 8.30 for a hour, 12 for a hour and 4 for 30 mins, either on boob or out for a walk.

I feel I can’t go on like this but I don’t know what else to do. We met a sleep consultant who seemed nice but wanted to do controlled crying which we don’t think will work and which we feel uncomfortable with.

Is there anything else I can try or do I just need to keep going and hope something changes?

Hi I have a question month old and started sleep training at 7 months. We started by rocking, shushing and white noise. We also only picked him up if it was full on crying where he got himself into a state... we are now at the point where he goes down at 07:30pm in his own room and then wakes up at 6:30am, but I leave him in there babbling until 7. I know its hard and I didn't want to do it either but you need to think about yourself a bit more, also perhaps start to wean off boob a little as he should be starting to try food by now

14 month*

Sleep training worked for me and was the best thing I ever done. It wasn't easy but every sleep regression drained me and going back to the sleep training gave me some breathing space and changed things so much because of that proper rest to recharge x good luck x

I don't think the OP said her LO isn't eating food.... Just that her son is a boob monster.

OP I had one of these and I didn't want to sleep train either. Will he let you feed him to sleep lying down for naps? If so nap yourself then it really helps. I also went to bed really really early for the night as it was the only way to survive. It did get better slowly and I noticed that her sleep deteriorated during a developmental leap so that might be your current phase. It does get better love but it is tough.

We started extending the time between feeds after bedtime and trying to resettle in other ways. So at first, no feeds if she woke within an hour of bedtime, then two hours, then before midnight, etc. I spent a lot of time that first week sitting by her bed, stroking her and singing to her. It did work though - she was down to one or two night needs until a year when she just stopped night feeds of her own accord. Lucy Wolfe's sleep book had some useful stuff about how to soothe them and distract them - weirdly I found that if I made odd noises or random loud sounds, she would stop crying in puzzlement and then fall asleep

I would really consider controlled crying. Just imagine in a week's time you could all be sleeping through the night. It's much better for you - you will be less tired, fraught and altogether healthier. That's so much better for your baby than a sleep deprived mother. I'm not sure why you think it won't work - when you haven't actually tried it.

I sleep trained my daughter at 9 months - it took two nights. It's tough - and you and your partner both have to be committed but think of the end goal.

Sorry forgot to say he loves his food and has three meals a day. Boob at night seems more for comfort than food.

During the day he will let me feed him to sleep lying down but only if he’s attached to me and I generally feel too uncomfortable in that position to sleep. I think he’s in a big developmental phase/regression now. One of the reasons I don’t think controlled crying will work at the moment.

For my DC, poor sleep at this age was always linked with teething - have you checked whether giving painkillers improves sleep?

With DC1 after a brief and failed attempt and controlled crying, we used some of the ideas from Elizabeth Pantley's gentle sleep solution. It sounds similar to a book described above, the idea is you make gradual changes to their routine heading in the direction you wanted. We changed around the order at bedtime, so we went from feeding to sleep to giving one side in our bedroom in the light, then we'd do story etc, then I'd feed to sleep on the other while rocking. I then started giving some of the second side in our room and cut the length of the feed to sleep bit. Eventually, we got him used to being rocked to sleep after a feed which meant my DH could settle him and we could start reducing night feeds. I also stopped bf to sleep for naps and exclusively did buggy naps - stopping walking as soon as he was asleep. Eventually we got to the point I could rock the buggy in the hallway and he'd go to sleep. We also introduced a comforter.

While it definitely improved things, it was all quite a lot of effort. With DC2 and 3 we didn't have time or energy - and they do grow out of it, just a bit more slowly. We found once teething pauses at about 15 months sleep improved a lot.

Any improvement over the last few days?