A very tired mum need help with some sleep routine

[RiannaTEA26]

Hi all I was wondering is anyone can give me some advice my son is 6years old ,7in December , I currently am 33week pregnant with my third , he suffers with quit a bit of anxiety and behaviour problems , hitting , tantrums and lashing out in general , he’s always been a-bit over welcoming with wanting a lot of affection but it’s now changed to wanted a cuddle the whole night , we’re either me or he’s dad will have to spend the whole night in he’s bed , he will wake us up at 1am crying / screaming till he gets what he wants and I’m trying to put my foot down with it because I know once baby’s here we aren’t able to do it no longer , he’s allowed a cuddle once we put him to bed but after that I have explained it’s mummy’s and daddy’s bed time and that dad has work and mummy has to be somewhat functional for the next day, he’s sister (2) sleeps in normally and will only really wake up due to them sharing a room and him screaming waking her up, it’s getting to a point where we are constantly disturb by he’s behaviour from morning with he’s anger , hitting me, not listening to anything I say , such as don’t cut that , give me the scissors, he will just continue to cut although clearly Hearing me , to the night with this , I love my son a lot but this is tiring me out , I work with children, being a nanny myself which is more crazy because I have never faced this problem even with the younger children I babysit at night , I have changed he’s diet to no sugars , I have spoke to him about end of the week awards , both me and dad speak to him throughout the day reassuring him , he has a lamp in he’s room and the hall way light on with us being down the hall. I have taken away things he was scared of such as YouTube as I kept catching him on silly things even within the short time of me leaving the room to cook etc / gaming too , i have even shown him Halloween make up videos to show him that it’s not real and that acting is a job he can even do when older ,if anyone has any advice that helped then please do let me know as I don’t want him feel I don’t care especially with another baby coming into the picture but I am honestly knackered, and can’t continue with how things are going.

Is he NT, have school identified any additional needs?

If not, this begins with establishing that it's a behaviour issue and so setting very firm boundaries in terms of acceptable behaviour.

In with that, include all of the stuff you're already doing to reassure him he is safe and help him not feel scared. But remember that having firm boundaries and rules with a child in itself gives children a feeling of safety.

I would stop lying with him to go to sleep at all times, bed time and night wakes. That is limiting his sleep development in the night. Then repeatedly keep taking him back to bed, Super Nanny style.

This will be difficult for your 2yo to deal with and she needs to be considered. If she could have sleepovers at grandparents for a week, that would be great. Even if they just have her overnights and bring her back to you during the day (to reduce responsibility on grandparents). If this isn't possible, I'd consider a temporary bed in another room (Your bedroom?) For the toddler.