Seven month old sleep is awful

[summersflowers]

My seven month old usually goes down in his cot around 8 and generally wakes at least twice before midnight then again around 2-3 and won’t go back down for hours.

I’m absolutely on my knees here as neither of us are getting a block of sleep and that does worry me a bit, for him as well as me.

Does anyone have any pointers?

Poor you, that sounds tough. How long has this been going on for? How do you get your baby to sleep when they go in their cot at bedtime and when they wake in the night?

Thanks for replying at this unearthly hour!

Usually he goes to sleep fairly easily in the evening - a rock and a cuddle and no problem. But then just keeps waking up!

Right now I have no idea how to get him back down - he’s been awake since 245 and is still squirming and kicking me. But normally he falls asleep when being held then wakes up when back in his cot. I know you shouldn’t hold/rock then to sleep but he gets really distressed lying in his cot.

The issue boils down to the fact that he is going to sleep in your arms then waking in the cot.

Good sleep hygeine comes from going to sleep in the place where he will stay asleep. The fact that you're settling method (rocking) isn't consistantly working anymore, since he's not going back to sleep in the night, tells me he's ready for a change in settling method. He's probably ready for learning to go to sleep in the cot.

Yes, he will get very distressed and cry a lot at this. This is an absolute certain so don't use the fact that he cries as a reason to assume the method isn't working. He will cry no matter what. But that doesn't mean not being caring and compassionate. I would stay with him. Bend close into the cot, hand on chest. Patting, shushing, whatever. Certainly don't leave him alone in this upset state.

I’ve just read your kind advice to DP, @FATEdestiny

Thank you

There are loads of different ways to go about teaching baby to sleep in the cot. Some are harsh and fast, some are slow and gentle, and everything in between. But all the ways you could look at to improve baby's sleep all come down to the same thing - get baby to go to sleep where they will stay asleep, and don't move them once asleep.

The gentlest option would be to abandon the cot. Cuddle baby to sleep lying on your bed and leave him there.

The next most gentle option would be to think about a journey towards independant sleep in the cot, but that this will be very gradual over many months. For example slow down your rocking until after a few weeks you're just cuddling to sleep. Then iver time put baby down at infinitesimally less states of being fully asleep. Start with cuddling for 30 mins after falling asleep before putting down. A week later cuddle for 28 minutes. Then 25 and so on, until putting down just as going to sleep and doing in-cot cuddling for the rest of the 30 mins. Then put down a few mins before fully asleep for in-cot cuddling, and so on.

There are then various ways to do the same as above, but at a faster pace. This will involve more tears and distress, but get to the end point faster. For example start off with baby in the cot awake. Baby will cry. Lots of bending into the cot to comfort. Consider a sidecar cot. Hand on baby's chest helps for reassurance. Stay calm. Stay compassionate. Stay through all the crying and keep caring. Then over time baby will get more used to going to sleep in the cot and gradually you reduce the input you need to give.

Another option is called Pick up Put Down. It is similar to above but after set periods of time (say every 5-10 mins of in-cot settling) you pick baby up for a cuddle to calm (but not sleep). Then put back down and start again. Thus helps for people who thrive on predictable routines - I do 1 min of cuddling I'm the cot, 1 min of hand in chest and face close to baby's, 2 min if patting and shushing, then pick up for 39 sec. Then start again. Some babies get frustrated by being picked up though, and it breaks the flow of going to sleep.

The harshest of options is called controlled crying. You put baby in cot with minimal fuss, leave for a set amount of time (say 1-3 mins), return, check baby is safe, brief reassure and leave again. Repeat until asleep.