Thrown all the dummies away 13 months

[NeurologicallySpeaking]

We wanted to get rid of the dummy at one, same as with our first, but kept it a few more weeks as we had a holiday (local!) and wanted to not have the stress during that.

So we have returned and binned all the dummies but naptimes are so hard. Bedtime is fine with DH- it is taking longer but she doesn't cry at least but I'm doing the naps and she screams blue murder and won't let me comfort her. It's like having a newborn again! At the moment I am having to walk out and leave her as she won't let me cuddle her to soothe her and just pushes me away (today pushing me out of the little seat I sit in next to her cot!) It's like seeing me enrages her but then I feel bad leaving her to cry alone.

Any tips? We have always done dummy plus Ollie the owl for naps - never used a Grobag apart from at bedtime but wonder if that would help.

Why did you throw the dummy away when she was quite clearly not ready

She's too young and needs the comfort.

Use dripping daytime naps as the trigger for dropping the dumny. Because your naps will go to peices without the dumny. Do around 3yo.

Until then - limit dummy use to only sleep time.

Jesus @ my atrocious spelling. Sorry

Well I'd give her a dummy over letting her scream herself to sleep op. What is this achieving? What are your reasons for thinking she shouldn't have it anymore?

If night times are fine then leave that no dummy but its more harmful surely for her to be 5hat stressed than to have a dummy a bit longer.

Pretty obviously she still needs her dummy. In the grand scheme of things it's not worth being so rigid.

Why the rush? Bedtimes and naps is fine ime...
My dc binned them themselves around 3..
Your dc has a comforter. Why would you take it away? It isn't a race.

Dentist said they shouldn't have them after 1 due to teeth positioning?

My DS 1 ( now 29) had a dummy till nearly 4. He has the most perfect teeth. Never needed an orthodontist.

Sorry OP but I don’t agree at all with everyone else. Dummies are absolutely not recommended past 1.
We binned them all. Took around 5 days before DS forgot.

And trust me, I would rather bin them when they’re younger than have an older tan trimming toddler demanding one

My DS 1 ( now 29) had a dummy till nearly 4. He has the most perfect teeth. Never needed an orthodontist.

Sentences like this are pointless.
Shall I just stop wearing my seatbelt in the car because 1 person didn’t and they were fine?

I am just sharing my experience. I thought it would be ok to do that.

12 months seems ridiculously early. Her comfort has been taken away and she has no idea why. The American Academy of Paediatric Dentistry recommends stopping pacifier use by 36 months and the Americans do tend to be dentistry obsessed! Your eldest might have been ready but she isn’t and the dummy is better than her screaming herself to sleep.

We did the same at 18 months for DS1 as he was speech delayed and our dentist had advised against them. It took a few days but it was worth it. So much easier to go through a few days now, before they become a strong willed toddler.

Ignore the anecdotal comments, dummies absolutely do increase the chance of damage to the teeth and speech delay. Better to have a few tricky days rather than extensive orthodontic work later.

With DS2 I never gave him one from day one.

Definitely get rid now. Give it 5-7 days and it will be all forgotten.

How does it work with thumb sucking then? Surely all thumb suckers should have immediately noticeable dentistry issues?

I tried to take dummies off them before they were ready, and the result was they started thumb sucking. So I gave the dummies back, left it till about 2.5, and tried again with no issues. Dentist has never mentioned it, no need for braces etc…

It is recommended to stop using bottles and dummy’s around the first birthday, but honestly, your baby seems to be really upset about not having it, so I’d give it them back. If they are fine without it at bedtime, don’t give it then, but if they need it for their nap, go with it. If you are in England and currently experiencing a massive heatwave, which will also make your baby hot and uncomfortable, I think you are expecting far too much of them.

Your baby has no idea why you have take away their comforter. Imagine someone just took away your favourite pillow (or something else you are attached to in your room) and you had to sleep without it. I’d be pretty upset by that!

One of the biggest problems with dummy’s isn’t napping with them, but when children have them while they are awake and it affects their speech, so if you limit dummy use to in the cot, you are doing really well already.

@Reallyreallyborednow

Lots of thumb suckers do. Hence why dummies are often recommend over thumb sucking as they can be removed

We waited till he was 3 and he said he didn’t need it any more. Voluntarily handed it over. He only had it for naps/at night though. We had one rough night then he was fine.

I think she’s not ready to lose it personally but I’m sure she will get used to it if you are determined to persevere.

www.bos.org.uk/Portals/0/Public/docs/PILs/digitsapril2013.pdf

british orthodontic information- This seems to suggest that stopping dummy or thumb sucking before permanent teeth grow in is not likely to cause severe permanent damage. If they are using the dummy more than 6 hours a day it may cause an issue.

There is also research that children don't have the emotional development needed to self-comfort until preschool age (3-5 years old). Until then children need external help to feel comforted enough to sleep. - be that a dummy or a parent or whatever.

So any research from the speech development community has to be weighed up against the research from the psychology community and any research on sleep deprivation in toddlers. One area is not more important than the other, it's a case if balancing risks to find the least-worse outcome.

Personally I think the benefits of 10 minutes dummy use twice a day, to comfort and sleep perspective hugely outweights any downsides in the possibility changes in baby teeth development for such a tiny length of time.

This would be very different if toddler was using a dummy for several hours per day. But most responsible parents of post-1yo wouldn't do this anyway.

Givd her back the dummy. Strictly bed-time only.

They might not be able to "self-comfort" before 3, but they can fall asleep without sucking.

Thanks everyone for replies. She was a little better this afternoon (and is upstairs with DH giggling and chattering away ) so will see if there is any improvement tomorrow at nap time and if not revisit the decision. It is a funny one though- she is ok at bedtime (where we have a more obvious routine), napping on the move in the car or buggy or being rocked by me. But the cot at nap time without a dummy is an evil thing! To be honest if I didn't have things to do (and the heat!) I would enjoy contact napping still but that's because she is my last!

@zoeydollie

Definitely get rid now. Give it 5-7 days and it will be all forgotten.

Agreed. They aren't recommended past 1. The hospital even advised us they don't recommend them at all! Never gave any of mine one, cuts out the trouble, obviously no help now but maybe something to consider if you have another. :)