My 11-month old never sleeeps!

[Middmary]

I have tried everything under the sun! Sleep training programs, sleep consultants. Long naps, short naps, early bedtime, late, 2 naps a day, 1 nap a day, 3 naps a day. You name it, I have tried it.

Recently, got into a very good routine. Wakes at 7. Nap 9:30-10. Lunch nap at 12:30-2:30. Bedtime at 7. It was working almost perfectly. Took him around 30-40 mins to fall asleep every time but he did it with little fuss and laid there till he fell asleep.

Then he got ill about 3 weeks ago and it all hit the fan. He does not sleep at all for his morning nap so usually after an hour I give up. So I have bought the lunch nap forward to 11:30-12 and wake him around 1:30/2 instead. It takes over an hour to get him to sleep at lunchtime and over two hours at night. He does not cry but just wont sleep either even though he is tired.

He used to sleep all night and the biggest problem was getting him to fall asleep. Now he wakes up at night. Not doing anything jus lying awake, even though he is tired for 2-3 hours!

He has been like this since he was born tbh. We have a good few days here and there and then it is always back to square one. I have no idea what else to do.

Please help, the lack of sleep consistently is driving me insane

Hi OP. Lack of sleep is so hard isn't it. How often does he wake at night and what happens? Do you feed him back to sleep?

@Chocolatebuttercream

Hi OP. Lack of sleep is so hard isn't it. How often does he wake at night and what happens? Do you feed him back to sleep?

Hi, yes it is! He wakes up once around 3/4 for 1.5-2.5 hours and stands up in the cot. He babbles to himself for a bit. Then he will lie down and stare into space and then he is up again. And so on.

He used to wake up for milk once and then go straight back to sleep. About a month ago he stopped and started sleeping through (we were going through a good patch). Now I have started giving him milk once again when he wakes but it does not put him to sleep as it used to.

Also wanted to ask if there is any advice on how I can get him drowsy/tired at bedtime so it does not take over an hr to put him to bed every single time. I think that might be why his night-time wakes are so long. He is tired but he cant put himself back to sleep and nothing I do helps either. Thanks

That sounds so frustrating. I don't know how much my advice will help as my DS was very different - he never slept for more than 2 hours at a time until he was well over 1. But on the other hand when he did wake he just wanted boob and then would sleep again. So I gave up my job (I was very lucky to be able to do so I realise) and co slept.

One thing I am sure of for you is that this will only be a phase. Likely because he was unwell, and also because he is 11 months and learning lots of new things.

One thing you need to do is to maximise your sleep. Do you have a DP or family member who can take over nights even just for one weekend? I'm not sure if you are breastfeeding or not but if you are, even just for a few hours will make a difference.

With DS it may just be a case of riding it out, I'm assuming you've tried white noise, soothing music at bath time etc?

Ahh I see, yes very different situation. I am not working atm but will be starting next month so am hoping bedtime will be easier by then.

Yes your right. I am sure it is a phase waking at night. He just never seems to stick to one routine so it might be this one for now and it might change later. But having trouble falling asleep has been something he has had since he was firstborn.

Ohh another thing. He only sleeps with me 😂 my husband has attempted many times but he just straight out refuses until I am forced to step in when it gets to like 11/12 midnight.

Yes I have tried it all, white noise, soothing music, various night time routines and sleeping bags and sleep suits.

He only sleeps with me...

What are you doing as he goes from awake to asleep?

Does he have a dumny or similar?

He just never seems to stick to one routine so it might be this one for now and it might change later.

This is because he is a baby. It is normal. He hasn’t read the routine rule book

Yes he has a dummy. So usually I give him a bath about half an hr before and get him ready for bed. Then we listen to some calming music or read one of his books. Then I tell him its time for bed and just stick him in his cot and give him a dummy. The bed is right next to the cot so I usually sit on the bed next to him as if I leave he screams and screams.

Then he proceeds to throw the dummy out of the cot, get up and babble and laugh until he gets tired. Which takes about an hour. I do lay him down every now and again and give him his dummy again but he does the same thing until he is tired and then falls asleep after that.

I do want to eventually progress to the stage where I can leave the room while he is awake but he havent reached that stage yet.

@blinkthreetimes

He just never seems to stick to one routine so it might be this one for now and it might change later.

This is because he is a baby. It is normal. He hasn’t read the routine rule book

I know that! Thanks for that great insight

I mean by this, if one thing works one day it is unlikely to work a second day. Also just because he wakes up every night at 4 this week he might not wake at all the week after. The fact that he wakes at night doesn't bother me at all. Its normal, he is a baby.

I just want advice on what I can do to make falling asleep easy for him especially when I can see he is clearly very tired and frustrated.

I gave a whole speech about his routine just to see if anyone could spot something specific I was doing wrong that might be the cause of him not being able to fall asleep.

If you have nothing helpful to say. Bye

The bed is right next to the cot so I usually sit on the bed next to him as if I leave he screams and screams.

Then he proceeds to throw the dummy out of the cot, get up and babble and laugh until he gets tired. Which takes about an hour. I do lay him down every now and again and give him his dummy again but he does the same thing until he is tired and then falls asleep after that.

You need to keep him lying down all of the time.

As you're next to him, put your hand firmly on his chest. This reassures him of your continuing presence as he goes yo sleep and also helps keep him still.

Every single time he sits or gets up, lie him back down immediately and repeatedly over and over again. Better still would be to tap the mattress and tell/ask him to lie down himself. Then hand on chest as he lies down.

Okay great I will try that! And see how we get on!

Thank you