Taking toddler back to bed strategy-PLEASE HELP!

[newtolineofduty]

Hi ladies, so I'm sure the heat isn't helping but we're having a difficult time with bedtimes this week with her not staying in bed. She's been brill since changing from her cot to a toddler bed afew months ago but this week she's getting out as soon as she's put back in.

We're trying the supernanny approach of returning her to bed silently but it's NOT WORKING. Tonight it feels like it's a game and Im wondering if we're doing it right.

Should we return her only if she comes downstairs or as soon as she leaves her room (she keeps just sitting on the landing or the stairs)? Tonight we've tried returning her as soon as she gets to her door and it seems to have turned into a game. Please help!!!! Xxx

I would be returning her to lying down the moment she sits up in bed, never mind get a out of bed.

Is she tired enough? What are naps like? DS has been in a toddler bed for a while and the only time we have issues at bedtime is when he's had a nap. We're in the process of dropping it but not quite there yet.

Do you always go back down the stairs each time? Could you try staying up stairs but out of eye sight. Will make it less effort to keep putting her back. One of us would sit at top of stairs into it had stopped. Then gradually went down. It reassured child we were there and although it was boring and time consuming it did make it seem easier to do.

I could have wrong this, but lines 18months. Used to sleep a dream in her big girl bed.. but half tempted to put her back in a cot recently. Returning her to bed has become a game where when she spots me she runs back into her room giggling. If I do get firm with the “no more, go to sleep” with a firm voice, or if I close the door so she can’t actually come out she has a full meltdown and I get conscious the neighbours will hear. It’s so draining. I don’t want to sit at the end of her bed while she falls asleep but it seems the only way.

Thank you everyone for replying. She sometimes has a nap but other days doesn't! If she has a nap she's not tired until later so we adjust her bedtime accordingly. When she's been doing this she's been yawning her head off so I'm pretty sure we've got the timings ok.

I tried sitting in our bedroom rather than going downstairs but that seemed to turn it in to a game! I don't think she's anxious, it's more like she's restless. Last night she didn't try and leave her room but was very fidgety and getting in abs out of bed with teddies etc! We have a nice relaxed bedtime routine, she doesn't eat too much sugar and no screens before bed so I'm not sure what it is really! I'm wondering if it's a developmental leap! X

I used to sit on the top of the stairs and if the door opened just give the ‘look’. The door would close pretty sharpish. I also emptied the bedroom of any interesting toys so there was no incentive to get up and play. After a week, the phase passed. My friends who gave in to their toddlers (oh they just wont stay in bed..dramatic sigh…) ended up with nightmare sleepers. You have to gut it out. I didnt insist on them staying in bed, just in the bedroom, but the bedroom only had a couple of board books for anything to do. You do also have to make sure the room is absolutely safe as regarding blind cords and tippy furniture etc.

Its a great skill to teach dc, that bedtime is something they can and should self regulate.

I’m right there with you. DS is 2 and occasionally gets these bouts of not staying in bed. He thinks it’s a hilarious game involving much giggling. Mummy does not share this opinion. I also tried the Supernanny approach and it takes a lot of patience.

Eventually I gave up returning to the sofa, brought a bean bag and made myself comfy with a cuppa and mumsnet right outside his door. If that door opened I put him back to bed. It took up to an hour most nights, occasionally two hours before he finally went to sleep. The last few weeks he’s gone straight to sleep. Fingers crossed that this streak continues!

You could try audio books on low - if she stays in bed she's
allowed to have one on. Choose sleepy ones...!

Thanks everyone. I think I might try sitting on the landing. I just wonder whether it'll turn in to bloody peak a boo! X

It might turn into a game but if you don't make it fun, no talking, smiling just firm. It will take a few nights and this heat will not help with the restlessness. I've found a fan and the white noise from it has helped too.

Give her no attention just keep returning her, no talking or eye contact just say 'back to bed' the first time you do it. Neutral face, no exasperation or anger. Keep at it even if it takes ages and it will get better. Consistency is key.

Thank you for your replies. Yes we've been neutral (mainly!) and stern faced/not fun! Tonight she got into bed and straight to sleep so maybe she's learned from the last few nights not to even bother! We've got a fan too which she likes! Thanks for your input everyone xx

That's great news, hope it will continue for you.

@CatRatSplat we had a terrible night last night! 😂 x I'm praying it's the heat! X

Had a really similar problem with my toddler the past few nights, going to try some of these tips tonight. I'm pregnant and last night he was just running around into our room/bathroom etc. Thanks!

Sorry to hear that, it will take some time to crack and it has happened one night so hopefully will again soon

@BobbleWobble1 the only time you struggle is when he's had a nap, which is every day? So you struggle every day? Sorry your message is confusing