How did you teach your baby to self settle?

4 replies

LoveYouHoneybear · 14/07/2021 07:46

Just that really. My baby is only 3 months old but I would like to work towards her being able to self settle. We use a dummy and a swaddle for all sleeps and I pat her chest, but she still needs to be rocked and placed into the cot nearly fully asleep for her to stay asleep. I don't mind this right now, but I'd like to know how to achieve self-settling in the future. Any tips/tricks would be very helpful!

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Babdoc · 14/07/2021 09:06

Where is her cot, OP? I kept my baby’s cot wedged next to my bed with the drop side down, so she could hear and smell me for reassurance in the dark, and used a dummy from the start.
She would wake, grope around for her dummy, pop it back in her mouth and suck herself back to sleep. I never swaddled, letting her wriggle freely under her bedding.
I think in the current hot weather, swaddling would risk overheating anyway.

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LoveYouHoneybear · 14/07/2021 09:37

@Babdoc She is in a Snuzpod cot which is next to me in the bed. Unfortunately she needs to be swaddled as her Moro reflex is still very strong and she would wake herself up with flailing arms! I make sure the room is cool, however, and she only wears a sleeveless vest underneath. I am looking forward to the day I can get rid of the swaddle and she can grab the dummy herself!

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FATEdestiny · 14/07/2021 11:51

@LoveYouHoneybear

This is all normal for the journey towards independant sleep for the age. You're doing great so far. I'd start working on rocking less and putting down more awake.

Rock with less movement, so more of a slight sway rather than full-on rock. Also rock at a slower speed.

While rocking in your arms, slow and still the movement as soon as baby is calm and not agitated. Be prepared to restart rocking if becoming agitated but then still again as soon as calm.

The idea is to work towards a slight sway to calm baby, then a stationary cuddle until drowsy, then out down (So stop rocking).

Next move towards in-cot cuddling for settling.

So put baby into swaddle with dummy, little sway in your arms as a nan-night cuddle. Then stationary in your arms until calm. Then during this cuddle you slowly move yourself so that baby is lying down on (or just above) the next2me mattress. But baby stays in the same position relative to you throughout - so still in cradle hold.

That putting down motion, with baby staying in the same position relative to you, is a knack to learn. Once baby is in cradle hold and also on mattress (So you are horizontally hovering above the cot), as you pull your arms away, leave one of your hands on baby's chest to replace that close physical contact of the cuddle. Splat fingers to cover whole of baby's chest and flat hand firmly, not gently.

At first all of this will be with baby mostly asleep. Then over time put down using the same method earlier into the settling time. You are working towards your sleep triggers being:

into swaddle
dummy in
Nan night cuddle for a few seconds
Put down gently and slowly, retreat from putting down slowly
leave hand firmly in baby's chest for the duration of settling to sleep
lift hand once in a deep sleep (when dummy drops)

Original poster

LoveYouHoneybear · 14/07/2021 12:30

@FATEdestiny This is all brilliant, as usual! Will start this routine. Thanks so much!

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