4 month old awake every hour

[ProjectBaby87]

My 4 month old is waking up every hour from 10pm to 6am. She's getting naps during the day totally approx 3 hours and is in bed asleep by 7.30pm. I'm absolutely broken this morning. If anyone has any suggestions I'd greatly appreciate them.

Following. My baby has been doing this to a greater or lesser extent for three weeks now

Hi, this sounds like the 4 month sleep regression. Hit us hard at 4 months with our baby. So sorry OP and Skyla01, it is a rough time.

I would highly recommend the Little Ones sleep guide: www.littleones.co/

My DH and I did this when we had reached breaking point with the 4 month regression, on recommendation from a mum friend. It is not a ‘quick fix’ and takes time and involves consistent routine, but def helped us a huge amount. So much so we’re planning to use it again for next baby if needed. (You can use it earlier than 4 months but this is when we discovered the method) Really helped to give us the structure and framework we needed to work within to help baby learn to sleep in their own cot and get nap timings right, so they get the right amount during the day (not too much or too little) and this puts them into a better position for sleeping at night. With the guide you can work out your baby’s waking window (where they are rested, alert and happy) and this is the perfect window for going out and doing things but make sure you get back in time for calm settle routine for their next nap, which they will be tired an ready for (avoid over tiredness at all costs, it’s a nightmare! Almost impossible to settle an overtired baby, I always had to resort to breast feeding to sleep if it got to this point, which was a backwards step).

The guide encourages trying to break habit of cat napping which they do so much in the early weeks and ie in buggy, car or on you if breast feeding and get them used to going down in their own bed for naps consistently. I found breaking the dependency of sleeping on mummy a life saver as baby only wanted to sleep on me after feeds and refused to be put down or sleep in her own cot. Although the sleeping on you is lovely at first, it becomes a problem when you can’t put them down for a nap in their own cot/ Moses basket which knocks on to them not settling in their own bed overnight either (plus you’re stuck with a sleeping baby on you and can’t get up/go for a wee/eat/ shower or otherwise have a little break!).

You start out with 3 day naps (short morning, long lunch, short afternoon) and gradually lessen and drop these as baby gets older and needs less day sleep and can stay awake and happy for longer periods. The aim is for them to get used to sleeping in their own bed and learn how to self settle, and be nicely sleepy for bedtime as they have had enough sleep during the day (not too much or little).

Hope that helps 🙂 the sleep guide does cost money but not too much and we found it a real life saver

@ProjectBaby87 I've just looked through some of your other sleep threads, I can tell you're struggling

Your breastfeeding to sleep aren't you? How do you feel about cosleeping? It is probably the way you will get the most sleep. The idea is to feed baby lying down on your bed and then allow easy access to the breast throughout the night (So that you don't have to properly wake up to feed).

If you want baby sleeping independently, it needs you to stop feeding to sleep because baby needs to learn to go from awake to asleep in the cot (not be out down drowsy or asleep).

I see you haven't established a dummy, so you need to know that independant sleep (in the cot) will involve crying. Without a dummy to stop the cries, it always does. There's no Ifs or buts about it - baby will cry and probably a lot.

But that doesn't mean being uncaring. If you want baby sleeping independently in the cot then you can (and should) still do all you can to comfort them. A sidecar cot helps with this. Close cuddles, bend close into the cot, face close to baby's, hand on chest, patting, shushing. Baby will still cry a lot, don't mix yourself that you'll do this with minimal crying. The point is to not assume a method isn't working because if the crying. Just carry on, be compassionate, but be consistent and persistent.

Thanks both. Yes I am massively struggling. I've fallen asleep a few times with her in the bed by accident and it scared the life out of me tbh. Last night, I actually thought this is so bad....I'll give it a go and she just wouldn't settle then.

I've tried a dummy, several brands and she just spits them out. And I've tried putting them back in several times etc etc. As an experiment, today I've given her formula at 8am, then expressed and formula at 11am. I fed her, burped her then rocked her to sleep instead of boobing to sleep. She did cry but not too much.

I'm getting exhausted by this point so she's currently boob feeding whilst rubbing her eyes. I'm ok to let her cry if I'm there. I think I'm just losing the will with these night feeds. I'm trying too many routines and getting muddled in my sleep deprived state 🙈

During the daytime - they easiest way to get independant sleep is in a bouncy chair. Just a standard z frame one, no bells or toys or vibration needed, just the bouncer.

● When baby wakes - give full feed
● Wind well
● floor time / nappy check.
● The first cry, insistence on being picked up, or 1h from waking (whichever of these 3 comes first) = sleep time
● Top up feed (reoffer breast or what's left in bottle from full feed), wind well
● Into bouncer
• Bouncer on floor in front of sofa
• You sat on sofa with TV remote
• One foot on z-frame of bouncer
• Bounce non-stop. Even tempo (about 1 per second). Just. Keep. Going.
● Baby will cry, just bounce through it. Watch tv, coo at baby as you please, just keep bouncing.
● You know baby:
(a) is not hungry
(b) has not got wind pain
(c) is ready for a nap, because 1h awake time is enough at this age. Oftentimes it will be less.
(d) is not over tired, because more more than 90m-2h awake is way too long awake in one go, and you're not there.
● So if you keep going, baby will eventually sleep. The movement will lull baby off.

Repeat this whole cycle over and over again- from the moment you wake until when you go to bed. Keep repeating, it will get easier.

Thanks for this. I'm going to keep a copy of it and do this 🤞 it works. Thanks for writing it out for me.

Definitely agree with FATEdestiny - they will cry lots whatever method you follow, it’s hard for them to learn how to sleep independently but this doesn’t mean being uncaring, as you will be there to comfort and help them.

The bouncer method is fine as a stop gap, not sure in terms of long term but should get you some respite from having to hold/ feed them to sleep. Just maybe be careful how much you use it or could create another sleep association (being bounced in a bouncer) that will need breaking at some later point in order to get them used to sleeping flat in their own cot/bed.

Yes co-sleeping is another option that many parents opt for as a way for everyone to get sleep. I personally worried about rolling on baby in my sleep or DH rolling on her as we were so sleep deprived exhausted. But I know quite a few parents who did this and got on well with it. We used a Next-to-Me crib which is a middle-ground as is next to bed and was v helpful especially in the frequent night feeding days. It then converted to a stand alone crib which we used with the sleep guide to get baby used to sleeping in their own bed, then progressed to full size cot in baby’s own room.

Thanks jellyfishnchips! She slept a bit better last night, not waking hourly!

4 month sleep regression is hellish and a new kind of pain for sleep deprived mums. Definitely read up on it as you'll find guidance that suits you. My DS started his early then it came to an end when he had his 16 week jabs.
Good luck! Sending virtual hugs, flowers and alcoholic beverages.

Haha 🤣that makes me feel better lol