Please please help, 11 month old sleep

[InpatientGardener]

Had some wonderful advice from @FATEdestiny on getting DD to go to sleep independently and she goes down by herself for naps and bedtime no problems now. She goes to bed at 7 and usually wakes between 5/5.30 but she has started crying in her sleep from anywhere between 11.30-4. If I leave her she will wake herself up crying and not go back to sleep. Today she was up at 1.30 and hasn't slept since. I normally deal with this by taking her in with me and Co sleeping, she used to sleep really well for the rest of the night like this but not anymore, and she spends the whole night fidgeting and kicking me so I don't get any sleep either. I've tried rubbing her back from the side of the cot which is what works in bed to get her back to sleep but it has no effect. I've tried lying on the floor in her room so she can see me but she just howls until she's picked up. I've tried an 11pm dream feed and nappy change to reset her. I've not had more than 3 hours straight sleep for weeks now and that's on a good night!
Daytime schedule is nap at 8/8.30 depending on wake up time, for about 1.5 hours then another at 1.30 for 1.5 hours, waking her no later than 3.30. Total about 3 hours in naps a day. Sometimes her morning nap is longer but she seems to adjust herself by having 30 mins in the afternoon. She eats good meals and has a massive bottle of milk before bed so I don't think she's hungry. Desperate for help! I know it could be just one of those phases but it's been going on since May on and off and seems to be getting worse. Any advice very much appreciated.

Co sleep for the next year. I did this with both of mine. They left eventually!!

Try cutting down her nap? 8:30 seems a very early nap for an 11 month old.

This sounds like a baby who needs more help and comforting in order to relax and go (back) to sleep.

What are baby's current comforting mechanisms? For example dummy, bonded to a comfort object, mummy cuddles, movement, patting etc? Sounds like whatever is happening currently is enough to get her to sleep when her body is putting high pressure to sleep, but not enough to encourage sleep when sleep pressure is low.

When waking in the night, it's always harder to go back to sleep than it was at bedtime. Because at bedtime our bodies have had no sleep in a while and so needed to go to sleep. In the night the body has just woken up, so while we know more sleep is needed, the pressure is less than at bedtime. So more help is needed.

I've tried rubbing her back from the side of the cot which is what works in bed to get her back to sleep but it has no effect.

I just did a search to find your last post (to see what I said) and can see similarities there with this 'it never works' defeatism and lack of persistence.

While rubbing her back and all the in-cot settling might have no effect on the one night you try it for an hour, that's because you need to be much, much more consistent and persistent.

It might take hours and hours of settling on the first night. But you keep going until you get there. Stay calm, stay compassionate, keep trying t9 comfort baby.

It might similarly take ages for day 2, day 3, day 5, day 7.... But it will gradually and slowly get easier and faster. You just have to keep going.

Thank you @FATEdestiny, makes total sense. I am a bit of an impatient person magnified by my desperation to be able to go back to sleep!

Actually @FATEdestiny I meant to ask, would you recommend stopping the co sleeping? Ultimately I don't want to bed share with her because neither of us sleep well, it was just a quicker way to get her settled again, but I'm thinking now we need to train her to settle in her cot?

The most important thing with baby sleep is consistency.

Cosleepers can still develop good sleep habits, but only if consistent. So sleeping in your bed all night from beginning to end, every night.

Your issue with cosleeping is the fact that you only half do it and that inconsistency is giving you poor sleep habits.

If you want independant sleep then this means sleeping in the cot for all of baby's sleep time. Part time cosleeping creates a number of sleep issues so I'd definately stop in your situation. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be to establish fully independant sleep.

By all means bring baby in for a morning snuggle before getting up, but not with the expectation that this will involve sleeping.