11 week old and napping

[AKM89]

Hi all - I appreciate that this is one of the oldest issues in the book, but I am just after some advice / reassurance that this sounds normal. My almost 11 week old has always struggled with daytime naps. Until about a week and a half ago, I was able to overcome this with contact napping, so he’s get a decadent few hours each day on me whilst I sat on the sofa and read a book. However, over the last week or so this strategy has stopped working. Any light, sound or other distraction means he just won’t settle. It seems like the only place he will go down is our darkened bedroom, but even then he fights extremely hard, and I can be in there for hours trying to calm him, and he will sometimes wake within minutes and then won’t be settled again without starting the hours-long cycle all over again (I should add that when he does go down I stay in the room with him due to SIDS risk). He’s currently refusing the go in his sling as well as the only way he likes to be carried is looking over my shoulder. This has all resulted in his smiley, chatty time significantly reducing and generally in the days becoming extremely fractious. I try to out him down when he starts showing tiredness signs. I just feel like I must be doing something wrong, as this cannot be what is best for him. Any comments or advice gratefully received. Thanks in advance all!

I can be in there for hours trying to calm him, and he will sometimes wake within minutes and then won’t be settled again without starting the hours-long cycle all over again

The issue will most likely come down to the methods you are using to get him to sleep. Also, reduce awake time between naps throughout the day to avoid over-tiredness.

Awake time wants to be around double nap length. So if having 30min naps then the time between naps (inc settling time) wants to be around 60 minutes.

How are you settling him to sleep? Some factors that help (and are needed for good sleep)

• go to sleep where he stays asleep (not put down already asleep or nearly asleep)
• sucking stops the crying. Try a dummy.
• movement helps significantly. Try naps in a bouncy chair.
• Plenty of frequent feeds and good quality winding afterwards.

Thanks @FATEdestiny - I think I am fairly good at not keeping him awake too long / noticing his sleep cues, so it may be the methods as you say. I’ve tried most of your suggestions previously and have struggled with keeping him in the crib as he starts to cry so hard and just won’t keep the dummy in. He’s also fed on demand so hopefully getting plenty to eat. I hadn’t thought of the bouncy chair partly because he associates it with having fun. In addition to these I’ve also tried rocking to sleep / feeding to sleep followed by contact napping. These worked for a while and I didn’t really mind the contact napping as he is so little and had plenty of time to move away from that, but he won’t even contact nap any more - he’ll wake within several minutes and start scrabbling. He won’t go in a sling as he can’t see enough from it. I’m finding it tough as the longer it goes on for the more and more grouchy he becomes and he is by nature a very smiley, chatty little boy.

You want rhythmic movement. Easiest done with a bouncy chair or pram.

Bouncer

Remove the play arch, don't have vibrate or similar on. Just the cradle chair. Park the chair in front of the sofa. You sit on sofa with TV remote. Foot on bouncer and use your foot to bounce at a steady, even tempo. Just. Keep. Going.

Pram

The ideal for this is pushing back and forth on the spot. This allows for even tempo in a way that a walk doesn't. But a walk is also ok if you need/want to get out the house. Again, even, steady tempo and just keep going.