11 week old rejecting bottle and won't sleep more than 2 hours

[Sp328]

My 11 weeks old (7 week adjusted due to being premature) is rejecting the bottle of my expressed milk which is heart breaking as I feel like I'm falling into the pit of no sleep.

My partner started giving her a bottle at night from 5 weeks. While she was never excellent with it she would eventually drink the whole thing. Other than that bottle she was only breast fed.

What happens now is my partner gives her the bottle, she drinks about 1oz before falling asleep. She then poos and cries. My partner changes her and she calms for a bit. She then cries again and my partner tries the bottle but she refuses it. The cries just get more inconsolable until eventually I have to come and breast feed her, defeating the point of having the bottle.

When she took the bottle I could at least bank on 4 hours. She's still not sleeping properly, I can't believe at 11 weeks old she still doesn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time. She feeds then I have to have her sleeping on me for an hour until she's completely conked out before I can transfer her to the cot, otherwise she cries. I spend the next hour trying and failing to sleep before she wakes up and the cycle continues. I'm not sure what to do.

I've tried getting her to feed more when I breast feed by changing/burping etc but no luck/difference. I don't know how we get her to take the bottle again. We've tried different brands, different teats, different feeding positions.

Do I just have to accept she won't take the bottle now and will only breast feed. I'm not sure how long I can keep going with so little sleep. I can't help but compare our situation with other people's, it seems like our baby is the only one that doesn't sleep for longer than a couple of hours. I feel like I'm losing it. When does it get better? Do I just not have a life and stay at home all day with her to see if I can get her to sleep in the cot in the day so I can also sleep and accept not sleeping at night? I feel so selfish but I need to have a life as well or I'll go even madder.

I can’t really offer any developmental or bottle advice as we have a DS who’s only a few weeks old. But for us co-sleeping can really help him settle in the night. We don’t do it all the time as he will settle in his cot 70% if the time.

But some evenings if he’s fussy and I’m sure he only wakes up because he wants to be close to us. At those times we all get a lot more sleep when we accept that he wants to be right next to me and it does work. We get longer stretches of sleep.

I don’t know if the guidance is different re co-sleeping with a baby that’s prem. bit I’m guessing they’re up to a good size now at 11 weeks?

It might not be standard everywhere but our midwife team recommended co-sleeping as being the safest way to feed baby if I was really exhausted.

Also you’re doing amazing to have got this far with breastfeeding 👏👏

Does she take a bottle off you? I appreciate the point of this bottle is that you get some sleep, but just wondered as my baby has lately become really fussy taking her evening nottle from OH but takes it fine from me. Just wondering if it's worth trying it so she goes to bed more settled, or you could put her down when you go up and he could try dream feeding her just before she'd normally wake for a feed? I've just finished a night feed so solidarity breast feeding mama. You're doing great

My DS happily took a bottle until 7/8 weeks then started refusing- nothing could persuade him. It does seem to be a 'thing' around this age. Try cosleeping (follow the guidelines) so you can feed and sleep. Little babies can be real sleep thieves but it does settle down eventually.
You're doing a brilliant job, it's a difficult phase but it passes.

Does your partner wait too long before giving her the bottle after the nappy change? Is he missing her cues and therefore trying to feed her when she is too worked up instead of whilst calm?

Once she's pooed will she continue to feed if not changed immediately? It won't hurt to leave it until she's finished.

My baby needs changing during the feed to stay awake but then needs immediate feeding again or will get too upset to continue.

I can't offer advice, but my 12 week old is usually still up every two to three hours.
Occasionally she will do a 4 hour stretch at the beginning of the night, and sometimes she is up every hour after 3am.
So you are not alone!

I'd also like to know if/when/how it gets better!

She has done a couple of nights with only one waking, so I know she can!