5 month old - is this normal?

[colajay11]

Hi everyone

My 5 month old is still waking every 1.5-2 hours in the night and the ONLY way I can settle him is by getting him out of his next to me crib and sticking him on the boob (normally for about 5 mins but once or twice a night he will have a really good feed, still wakes a couple of hours later though).

It feels like we are the only ones who still have a baby that sleeps like a newborn. Everything I read suggests he should be feeding 1-2 times a night. We are more like 5/6 times. I know it’s probably a comfort thing but it’s just breaking me!

We do co-sleep sometimes but I am not a big fan because I find I sleep much lighter and am shattered the next day.

He still won’t take a bottle or a dummy at all - we’ve given up trying now! He’s never slept through and the longest stretch was about 4.5 hours and that’s only been once or twice.

Does anyone else’s baby still wake all night every night? I just don’t know what to do 😥 if it’s normal I’ll deal with it but I feel like everyone else’s baby that I know sleeps so well! 🥺

I worry I’m doing something wrong?

It is normal I think. Remember that all babies are different too. My LO is five months. Was sleeping well but since four month sleep regression hit is awake more often than I can count each night quick boob puts her back to sleep quickly most of the time. I'm co-sleeping due to amount of wake ups. I hope as they get older sleep will gradually improve!

Hope this might be reassuring but my LO still woke at night at around 5 months, perhaps not as often but I had terrible trouble trying to get her back to sleep. She wasn't a good sleeper and didn't do anything the books suggested. I tried all sorts. From about 8 months she started sleeping through by herself without me doing anything in particular. So I think she just got there in her own time. She's nearly 16 months now.
So I personally don't think you're doing anything wrong at all. But I also know it's very hard to deal with. I got through it by just taking it day by day, but it was tough.

Hi OP

This is my life with my 5mo daughter exactly

Are you a first time mum too?

Sometimes the lack of sleep really gets to me. I feel so down some days and wonder if it will ever get easier.

Anyway, you're not alone.

I think this is entirely normal for some babies . It gradually gets better.my worst for this was by far the best sleeper from about 6 or 7 months. My first kept to their 4 hourly schedule for ever really although they stopped wanting the breast somewhere around a year and from 5 stopped needing me My youngest co slept from the start. They are all different and all get there in the end.

It's so so normal. My first did this until 15 months. They will sleep longer when they are ready.

Me :) DD is 6 months old and basically in the same boat as you. Won't take a bottle or a dummy - think it's due to tongue tie & still wakes multiple times a night and can't self settle so majority of the time falls asleep on the boob or being rocked.

We have basically co-slept from the beginning as I couldn't cope with frequent night wakings and having to lean over the cot. At least with the co-sleeping baby can feed while I'm half asleep which helps with the lack of sleep.

At the moment she is refusing naps though & it has got to the point where she's getting too heavy and fussy for me to continue on how we are. It's tough!

That sounds completely normal and like all the babies I've ever known. What are you reading that says 5 month olds wake to feed once a night 😂

Mines 5 months and very similar. Wakes every 2-3 hours max. I'm feeding him between 3 and 5 times. Sometimes he wakes at 5 am and that's it. He has really long feeds usually and he's big for his age. He's already outgrowing his 6-9 month clothes. Maybe it's a growth spurt. Who knows. I am considering doing some Ferber's sleep training in a month or so if things don't improve much because I'm shattered.

Dear OP,

You just described my son's exact sleep pattern! He is also 5 months. Waking every 1.5-2hrs (and sometimes every 40mins in the short time he is down before I go to bed and co sleep with him) and longest he has ever done is 4.5 hours, and he doesn't do this regularly. He's EBF, we didn't try dummy and he did take a bottle (expressed BM) but now refuses! We co sleep mostly and that helps me manage as less disruption with the waking.

Reassuring to read your responses that others
have babies just like ours! It's exhausting! Thank god he is so cute otherwise I wouldn't cope with it at all!! I find that hearing about the NCT babies in my group who sleep through and feeling the implicit shade when I admit to cosleeping really didn't help, finding down to earth Mum friend's through baby groups helped share the struggles, we well as here!!

I can't tell you ladies how much better it makes me feel ready your comments I could cry

Reading that other women are dealing with this exact stuff... it gives me hope that my baby might actually sleep some day. It's obviously normal, hopefully OP will read this too.

I feel like an utter mess who doesn't have a clue what they're doing!! But maybe it's not my fault if I'm not the only one?

7.5 months old and in the same situation!!

Exactly the same as @Paris2019

Think we must have passed straight from 4 month sleep regression to 8 month one without coming up for air! Baby is EBF and not tried a bottle for months but I really must again soon as need a few hours off 😴

It's normal. Mine were both exactly the same. They only slept a bit more when i did some light sleep training and stopped breastfeeding at 10 months or so

@colajay11 Sounds completely normal to me 😊 and please please remember that SO many people tell little fibs about how well their little darlings sleep/eat/do anything!

Going by google my 8month old should be having 3 meals, 3 milk feeds, sleeping 12 hours through the night with no feeds, self settling to sleep etc etc. In reality - he eats like a champ - 3 meals and never has refused a food 👍🏻 BUT...he still takes 5 milk feeds rather than 3, wakes during the night for a feed, has only just started going down in his cot for naps, needs rocked to sleep, wakes multiple times a night and has to be resettled 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m a FTM too and it hit me like a tonne of bricks but honestly, the best advice I can give you is to pay absolutely NO attention to what they “should” be doing at each stage. Obviously there are developmental milestones that you need to keep an eye out for but in terms of sleeping etc, every child is SO different!

@Bonjourlaclasse in regards to the bottle - my daughter has tongue tie and I was advised to skip bottle if she wouldn't take it and go straight for drinking from a cup.

Tried her with a cup of water today which went well so will deffo try with milk to give myself a break. Might be an idea for you ?

Hi! My 6 month old is very similar waking every 2 hours or so. Sometimes they are not seeking you out necessarily out of hunger, but for reassurance and cuddles which is equally important

My older son was the same, he starting sleeping slightly longer around a year and now he is nearly 4, he sleeps in his own bed all night (most of the time!). Co-sleeping safely and side lying feeding made me feel less like a zombie and now I'm very used to it with this baby!

I'm in the same boat with my 4 month old. He seemed to sleep better a couple of months ago, where he was going up to 5 hours at night in his next to me. Now it's every 2 hours for a feed and we've started side feeding and co-sleeping as he immediately wakes when we put him in his crib now and won't settle at all. I've felt like I've been doing something wrong. It's reassuring to hear that others have come out the other side of this in one piece!

Normal. Horrible but normal!

Completely normal. It’s nothing that you’re doing wrong. My DS woke every 45 min from 4 months to 6 months then suddenly started sleeping through. DD was appalling. Slept through for the first time this week at 8 months. Hoping it continues but it’s so up and down in the first year. Hang in there, it’s so tough. You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s just a matter of luck if you have a sleeper or not I think.

@dindot

I'm in the same boat with my 4 month old. He seemed to sleep better a couple of months ago, where he was going up to 5 hours at night in his next to me. Now it's every 2 hours for a feed and we've started side feeding and co-sleeping as he immediately wakes when we put him in his crib now and won't settle at all. I've felt like I've been doing something wrong. It's reassuring to hear that others have come out the other side of this in one piece!

@dindot Could be the 4 month sleep regression! Our DS had a horrendous time with that! He was awake every 30 mins needing resettled for about 10 days and then had a good few weeks where he was awake every 1.5-2hours. It’s exhausting!

@jamsandwich1

Completely normal. It’s nothing that you’re doing wrong. My DS woke every 45 min from 4 months to 6 months then suddenly started sleeping through. DD was appalling. Slept through for the first time this week at 8 months. Hoping it continues but it’s so up and down in the first year. Hang in there, it’s so tough. You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s just a matter of luck if you have a sleeper or not I think.

@jamsandwich1 Completely agree that it’s just luck 🙈 I have a friend who’s DS slept through the night from 3 months old and still sleeps like a dream at 20 months 🙄 I’m still waiting for my 8month old to do his first “through the night” 🙈 Congratulations on yours though 👏🏼👍🏻 I bet you felt like a new woman after that 🙈🤣 or if you’re anything like me maybe you were up checking every little while to make sure they were ok because they hadn’t woken up 🤣

Have you tried a dummy to replace boob? My 5.5 mo old sleeps 8-8, with some wakings, every night different. She’s not hungry, but when she wakes, and if I can’t settle her without dummy, I give it and she’s out like a light. I stay awake for it to fall out so I can grab it. Otherwise she runs the risk of sleeping on it.
If she’s not hungry, try and avoid feeding her. She won’t know how to sleep if this is what she is used to doing.

@tiredmama2020 I think she has sort of reversed sleep trained me so even though she was asleep I was waking every hour or so! 😂
Hope your DS gets there soon! 🤞

Yeah, this was us too! And at 8 months things haven’t massively changed... 🙄 I did start to try other ways of resettling first before feeding as I figured DD couldn’t be hungry EVERY hour and occasionally that worked. Things like patting and shushing, singing, picking up and rocking. Those are now effective for about a third of the wakes. But I’m still feeding at least twice overnight - and, really, I think most of her milk drinking happens at night. It’s tough! I’m REALLY hoping our story will turn out like PPs’ whose DC suddenly started sleeping through...! 🤞🏼

This sounds like my baby during the 4 month sleep regression which for us was from 13-18 weeks. You just have to weather it and it improves.

He's 7 months today we still have nights like this when he's got a tooth or two coming through, he got his first one just before 5 months. Generally now he wakes 2-3 times a night and settles easily.

Also remember the mums in your nct group are probably lying. For some reason some mums think it makes them a bad parent if their baby isn't sleeping well. I questioned some in my group who said they're babies always slept well but they were going to sleep at about 9:30 and up at 5 every day and still waling twice a night! Whereas my son is asleep by 7:30 and up after 6.

Honestly what you're describing sounds totally normal to me.