Relentless toddler

[Seeyouontheflipside]

I have a 2 year old who has been an absolute nightmare to get to bed each night for the past few months. Only gives in at around 9/10pm each night. He is in a double bed as he was climbing out of his cot from the moment he could walk which hasn't been a problem until now.
He will nap a 1-1.5 hours during the day from lunch time, sometimes even before lunch. Never too late in the day to disturb bedtime. Bedtime we do the same routine. Bath, milk, stories, bed... Never works.
Please any advise to a desperate mummy!

Ah op I feel you. My son at two was a nightmare. We also just let him fall when he wanted at that age as it was really hard to make him stay still in bed.

We didn't realise that he had quite a lot of sensory issues and required more sensory input. We now use a light up aromatherapy diffuser, so he gets light input and smell and he has to have a fan on for the white noise. Not sure if they would have worked when he was two though, as he was just manic then. He's five now. Bouncing on a gym ball and spinning in an office chair also helps him, as he just needs more input to calm down. Oh and jumping on the bed!

We also realised that his internal clock was set already, he was not tired until nine. We pushed back bedtime, started at eight not seven and it became easier as we were not battling with him. It's annoying because he doesn't want to wake up til 8 either, which is rubbish for school.

We are on a pathway to an autism diagnosis, though I'm not suggesting that your son is autistic. What are his communication skills like? Is he able to verbalise his needs well?

Everything seems of the normal tbh his nap times etc.
Just let him tire himself out and fall asleep for the fall moment, it's easier than a battle to go to sleep.
And try and figure out what's happened, has anything changed in the last two month? Nursery etc.

Hi OP, my experience with DD at a similar age was that the difficult, seemingly non-tired, very Kate bedtimes were a signal that it was time to drop the daytime nap. Once we did this bedtime was a breeze and she was much more ready for bed and settled and fell asleep within a few minutes. Good luck!

*late

Thank you for your reply.
He has begun to really start talking and communicating with us properly in the last month or so, I wondered if this had something to do with it.
We have gotten him a nightlight as he would wake crying during the night and realised it was because he as scared of the dark.
He has only just gone for a nap now and I can't let him fight it as he was shattered!

I feel like we need a new routine but then is there any point, hes our only child and so I just want to go with the flow but hubby thinks he should be in a routine and stick to it

I never worried too much about bedtimes, just let them fall sleep when they were ready and carried up to bed. Each child is different, you have to follow their lead. I felt that strongly because I remember being 'put to bed' early when I was very little and still being awake when I heard parents coming up the stairs at 11pm. I'd have been happier downstairs with them, playing with toys or sitting on the sofa.

We all slept very well.

The only things to change are his bedroom layout, bed is in the middle of the wall rather than against it now. Also that his communication has really picked up!

We do joke that he has FOMO but like yourself I remember the same as a kid! It's such a struggle to know what to do, thank you for your kind words and reassurance, felt a relief reading your comment

New developments in my experience do knock sleep up mind!
Go with the flow for now, let him crash on a night time when he's ready.
I found as they get older the routine can become less strict or even nonexistent.
So long as he has his nap in the day unless you think he can give it up but by having 1/1.5 hours I don't think he's ready.

My DS has just turned 2 and we have just changed routines. Before he would have a nap around 11/11-30 for an hour and then be in bed at 7 (after having a grumpy dinner time). Now he is going for a nap around 12/12.30 and sleeping for an hour and three quarters - 2 hours 15mins and then in bed for around 7.30 and he takes roughly 15 mins to fall asleep. It doesn't sound like it would make a difference but the extra time at nap seems to have helped at bedtime as he isn't too grumpy around dinner time! Just a tiny change in routine can really help, it's just about playing around with different timings and doing what works for you as a family.

Could you just focus for now on just getting him to stay in his room/bed after bed time? It might take a bit of the stress out of it for all of you.

Could he maybe have some tapes/audiobooks to listen to, to keep him entertained but relaxed while he lays there? Maybe some books to look through?

At least if you could get him to stay in his room and have some 'quiet time' then you can still chill in the evening, rather than either trying to push him to sleep until 10pm, or having him sitting up with you until then.

Thank you for all the great suggestions, weve just gone with the flow tonight and all feeling a lot calmer, we can work on it again tomorrow but today felt so down after a long few weeks of evenings being such hard work and was dreading each night