3 month old screams every night-is he overtired?

[Riggsisadino]

Hi I'm a first time parent to a little boy who's 13 weeks. I'm on my own with him. He's an okay sleeper. But the last couple weeks he screams for an hour starting between 20:00-21:00. He has a bath, bottle and bed. It often takes him a while to settle in cot, won't self settle (normally), won't entertain a dummy, normally feeds to sleep. I thought he may be overtired so started doing night time routine a bit earlier. He started screaming at 19:00 tonight! I struggle a bit with his crying as I'm autistic. Tonight I put him on the bed, he ended up rolling on his tummy, and cryed himself to sleep. Is he overtired? Or somthing else? What should I do know just wait for him to wake on his own give him his bottle and put him in his cot ? I'm in the room with him know of course. I'm at my wits end be with it and am really struggling. Btw helath Vistor is useless as she dosent thing autistic people should have kids (whole diffrent thread !)

He's only 13 weeks - way too young for 'self settling'! It's not clear what you're doing at bedtime but if you're just feeding him and then putting him on his cot then that may be why he's screaming - because he doesn't want to be put down away from you. But if it's only just started recently it could be colic (Google 'purple crying') or he may just be going through a developmental stage that means he needs the extra reassurance from you at bedtime or a slight change to the routine.

I know it's to young to make them. I was just saying he can't cause some babies can! I give him a bath, sometimes a massage, cuddle, bottle then down in his cot. I've been trying my best to start reading his cues when he's tired wants to eat etc. Once he's finished screaming he'll go to sleep okay after a bottle.
I can't co sleep so that's out of the question. So
He has to go in his cot.

It takes quite a lot more work than that to get babies sleeping independently, ie in the cot, not on you.

The work comes from needing to replace comfort mechanisms that help baby calm and relax in order to settle to sleep.

Some very basic and well established ways to comfort baby are:

SUCKING. Natures way to calm a baby. The parent-dependent way to do this is feed to sleep. The independent alternate is a dumny

SECURE/PROTECTED. In your arms baby gets a feeling of being secure and protected. A way to recreate this for independent sleep is using a swaddle.

PHYSICAL CLOSENESS - One way to do this is to cuddle baby. A more independant way to allow for it is to bend close to baby throughout going to sleep and have your hand on baby's chest and face close to baby.

MOVEMENT - Rocking baby in your arms is a sleep inducer. Harder to recreate in a cot but during the day naps in a bouncer Or pram recreate this in an independent way.

As another autistic mummy, I would just like to say that you should ask for a new health visitor. Had to work really hard to make myself say that politely. Seriously though what is wrong with people. There's nothing wrong with being autistic.

So he's asleep in his cot ! I will say exactly what I do. Got him asleep my arms. Then sort of cuddles him in his cot. Slowly backed away from him whilst tapping his belly then finaly removed my hand from his belly. He has a ewan dream sheep that plus white noise. He's know pretty settled. He dosent seem to want to take a dummy at night. But will try more. Thanks @FATEdestiny it's hard not having option of co sleeping. I don't know if I'm swaddling wrong but he doesn't seem to like it.
And I know about health Vistor! I struggle to get my voice heard in that respect

I'm glad you got him down in the end! At that age, mine didn't like dummies either. Or swaddling. They liked to be cuddled to sleep and then carefully placed in the cot, they often would wake for a moment when put down but then would settle in.

People wanting to stop Autistics procreating, or "cure" the autism, is wrong and amounts to ethnic cleansing. Just because we are different and it is uncomfortable for them.