18 month old sleep - regression? Help 😭

[NewMumma1819]

My son has always been an iffy sleeper, sometimes he'll have great naps and night time sleep, sometimes the complete opposite. The past week, 4 nights he's woken up for up to 5 HOURS! He's still fed to sleep for his nap and bedtime, we can't get him to sleep any other way unfortunately. But these nights he's woken he has just wanted to lay next to me, whether it's on the floor, in my bed of the spair bed and fall asleep. It takes a few hours and tries every time but eventually that's all he'll want. He still wakes between 6.30 and 7.30 on these days though. Does anyone have any advice? Is this just the sleep regression? He doesn't appear to be teething. His room is also completely blacked out. Oh, we have also never ever co slept or done contact naps.

Massive separation anxiety peak at 18 months. He may just want to be closer to you.

I had read something about that before but was unsure of the age - thanks!

Feeding to sleep and then putting him in the cot fully asleep is the crux of the problem.

If you want to carry on feeding to sleep you would be better doing this in such a way that you feed baby lying down and then leave him there to sleep. Over time you can then move towards cuddling to sleep by in matching earlier and cuddling for the last bit.

When he wakes in the night currently, if he isn't hungry and just doesn't want to feed, then he has no idea how to get back to sleep.

Yes, I am aware of this but I'm not able to get out of the cot if I get in there with him to feed - believe me I've tried! Next week we are going to try settling for naps without breast (then if the nap doesn't go to plan it's not such a big issue if he doesn't have one). In the past every attempt without feeding to sleep has gone horribly for all involved. If I leave to settle for a few minutes at a time on his own he'll scream until he vomits (literally within 30 seconds of being on his own). Cuddling/rocking/singing/patting just upsets him more because he knows I can feed him. He will just scream blue murder with his dad too... So we just don't know how to do it! And he's never taken a dummy or a bottle.

I wasn't suggesting you getting in the cot (kudos for fitting in there tho!), I was suggesting that if you're feeding to sleep it needs to be done lying on a bed and then leaving baby there - ie cosleeping.

With regards to settling without feeding to sleep, whatever you choose to do will feel terrible - in that baby will cry a lot and be very distressed. It comes down to picking your method and sticking with it through all the crying.

That s why I mentioned cosleeping. What you're doing now (feed to sleep then put in cot asleep) is not helping your baby's sleep development. Either carry on feeding to sleep and embrace cosleeping, or don't feed to sleep and get baby independently settling in the cot.

@FATEdestiny he had a fussy bedtime feed tonight so I laid in his cot with him (😂) and after an hour and a half of climbing on mummy acrobatics he drifted off with my hand on his head and holding his other hand. So I'm hoping to do the gradual retreat method and change the feed to downstairs and then eliminate it all together. Thanks for your advice!