7 month needs to be rocked to sleep still

[November20202]

Hi I was hoping for some advice, my 7 month old has always needed rocking to sleep for naps and bedtime, she's getting worse not better!! I have to really rock her lately and shush her really loud, it's causing me and my partner to argue as he thinks it's ridiculous. We've tried putting her in her cot awake/drowsy, we've tried white noise, singing to her, lying next to her. She'll sleep no problem in the car or pram!! How am I supposed to stop rocking her to sleep? Every time I try I different technique she gets in such a state and it takes even longer to settle her. I really don't think controlled crying would work with her, and I would rather not have to do it to be honest. I've been telling myself for months she'll grow out of it!

Let me know when you find the answer My 8 year old still screams blue murder unless I stay in the room with him until he's ready to drift off.

She won't grow out of it @November20202, you have to wean her off it. It will be hard for her, but she will have much better sleep habits as a result, so It is the right thing to do for her.

As to how to do it, there are dozens of different ways. Generally speaking the more gentle options take longer time frames to show results but involve less crying. The harsher options have much quicker time frames but involve much more crying. All options are working towards the exact same outcome though - that she goes into the cot fully awake and goes to sleep in the cot. Whichever option you choose, that is your end point. She won't "grow into" doing that without help, you have to teach her.

Some options (there are dozens more)

● Slow down the tempo of rocking very gradually over weeks/months until cuddling stationary to sleep. Then over many more weeks/months put down in the cot at a gradually less fully asleep state.
● Pick Up - Put Down. The idea of this is you put down in the cot awake, expect screaming. Comfort through the screaming whilst baby is in the cot for a set amount of time. Then pick baby up to comfort slightly (She will stay upset, you're not wanting her to fall asleep In arms). Put back down quickly and repeat over and over again.

• Gradual Withdrawal. Put baby in the cot awake and do all comforting in the cot. Making your cot a sidecar cot helps this (remove one side off cot and butt up to your bed). Cuddle as close as possible to baby. Pat, shush, hand on chest, try to help her stay still with your cuddles, face close to hers. Just keep going comforting continually until asleep.
• Cosleeping. As GW but with baby in your bed. It makes cuddling close easier As a comforting mechanism.

With all of these it doesn't involve leaving your baby to cry alone (as controlled crying does). But your baby will still cry, possibly a very lot. You have to just not get annoyed, frustrated or angry with this, plan for it and expect the distress. Stay calm, compassionate and caring throughout all her distress.

Finally, don't mix and match. Inconstancy makes everything harder. Pick a method and be very consistent about it.

This was us at 6 months. We sleep trained (which yes, involved a bit of crying for about 3 nights) and never looked back. Not saying you have to do that, don’t assume they’ll magically grow out of it if you keep rocking...

She won't grow out of it. What you do to help your baby to sleep, they continue expecting you to do. Friends of mine have 18m olds that still need to be rocked or fed to sleep and can't go to sleep otherwise.

You'll need to proactively do something about this. We were the same and did Ferber method at six months. It was to this day the best thing I think we've ever done as parents. A few awful nights of getting out of the way and giving DS the space to learn how to fall asleep on his own, and since then he has been put to bed awake, gone to sleep within a minute, and slept through. He wakes like anyone does in the night and goes back to sleep within minutes because he knows how to fall asleep without assistance.

When she gets in a state and 'it takes even longer to settle her', if you're sleep training you don't settle her. You give her the space and time to figure it out. With Ferber you pop in at gradually increasing intervals to let her know you're still around but don't soothe or settle her, just tell her you're there and leave again, half a minute tops. If you give up and soothe and settle her back to sleep you're just reinforcing that if she keeps crying as long as possible you'll rescue her. She needs to learn to fall asleep without assistance, and the longer you leave it the more challenging it'll be for both of you.