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Baby - six weeks - will only sleep on me

5 replies

Countrylane · 27/06/2021 10:34

And I have a two year old, so can’t possibly sit still for hours on end. Bad back so can’t use sling. What the hell do I do?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Frezia · 27/06/2021 10:43

I'm sorry, it's really tough in those early weeks. Just to say not all slings are made equal, some are terrible for your back but many are great with lumbar support, eg. Ergobaby carriers. Just make sure all the straps are tightened properly as that makes all the difference.

FATEdestiny · 27/06/2021 10:53

(Option 1) Naps in a bouncy chair.
Keep awake window short, never more than an hour at this age. Then baby in bouncer (with dummy), bouncer at your feet, sit on sofa and bounce relentlessly. Just don't stop.

(Option 2)
Naps in pram
Similar to above but park pram somewhere in the house and relentlessly push back and forth. Also allows you to get out the house with toddler. Dummy essential to minimise crying.

(Option 3) Swaddle and Dummy
If you want baby sleeping in cot/crib then a firm swaddle and dummy both make independant sleep easier for baby. They calm baby down and help him feel comforted and secure.

Countrylane · 27/06/2021 11:12

The problem is that if the baby is in a room with me and the toddler, the toddler will wake him up. She’s literally impossible to keep away unless I physically hold her and then she screams so much the baby wakes anyway. I have an ergobaby and a baby bjorn and neither of them help with my back. Have had him in a swaddle and he just fights it and screams and screams. I just don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 27/06/2021 11:27

Several things to tackle there.

The first (and I mean this gently) is that even in your writing I can feel how frantic you seem, this could be catastrophising and this is actually a symptom of your mental health. You gave birth 6 weeks ago, be kind to yourself.

Regarding Toddler:

You can teach your toddler to stay away from baby. It just needs firm boundaries and repetition. There was 14 months between my oldest two and even at that age she quickly learnt.

I had a yellow cot blanket that I kept on the floor. This was "baby space". Toddler was allowed to sit outside blanket and play with baby, but not get onto blanket. Every time she went onto the blanket is say no, lift her and put into travel cot just for 15 seconds or so. Enough time yo say "No, that is baby space". Then back out. Repeat every time she went on the blanket. She learnt quickly.

Now my method was for a very, very young toddler with very little language skills. An older toddler might need a different approach. But it meant that I could put bouncer, Moses basket, or pushchair on blanket and toddler understand to leave baby when on yellow blanket.

Regarding Swaddle

A baby screaming and agitated needs a swaddle more. The swaddle is there to calm and angry and agitated baby. A calm baby wouldn't need a swaddle. The screaming means baby need help to calm. The sensory deprivation of the swaddle, and recreating womb-like conditions is exactly the primal help baby needs.

Baby in same room as you and toddler

This is necessary for Safe Sleep. Baby absolutely needs to be sleeping in the same room you are, including during the day. It's a SIDS risk not to. Since toddler will also need to be with you, you simply have to find a way to make it work. Putting baby upstairs in the cot with you downstairs isn't something to do until after 6 months.

olderthanyouthink · 27/06/2021 12:15

Find a sling library and/or a consultant, a new baby is so tiny they shouldn't put much pressure on your body but you have pretty bulky carriers. I returned an ergo within two days when DD was 5 months because it HURT but can carry her at 2.5yrs while very pregnant no problem, in the right carrier.

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