oh lordy lordy lordy - having spent a few nights at Wits' End (a scary place), i need help. can you select one of the following str\ategies for me and ds2 please......

[Tutter]

ds2 is 4mo

a shocking sleeper

last night for example: woke twice while i was downstairs - managed to settle him with gentle jiggle (with him still in cot) and dummy reinsertion

woke at 2:40 - i had to pace around with him for 20 mins to get him back off

3:45 - fed him - now i know he's capable of making it 12 hrs without a feed, but he's a bit off colour and i was too tiored to repeat jiggle/pace-fest

5ish - still unsettled so brought him into bed with me - had to resettle him a couple of times before he woke for good at 6:45

so~ - plan of action req'd

1. controlled crying. pros: if it works he'll learn to settle self without disturbing us or ds1, and we could move him into own room. cons: not sure i can stomach cc for a 4mo; also, likelihood of waking ds1 whilst getting cc to work

1. pick up/put down. pros: less harsh than cc. cons: i'm too blardy knackered for several pu/pd sessions a night

1. carry on muddling though, cuddling to sleep and resettling any oild how in the night. pros: feels more sympathetic to ds2, and unlikely to disturb ds1. cons: increase in wrinkles and grey hair

heeeyyyyulp!

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possible, except for the fact i bought a stand-alone radiator for our room the other day

nopw tis a lovely 20 degrees all nighgt

he's in sleepsuit, swaddled in thick sheet, and under a blanket

Dummy addiction?

Ooh bugger Tutter. Dont know what to say really.

DS was very much like this. Only really fixed at around 10.5 months with help from other poster on this thread

I was bringing DS into bed at this point to feed him so that there was as little disturbance as possible. He was waking 2-3 times a night and it was far simpler to just have him in bed when he first stirred and keep him there so that he could just roll over and feed if needed later.

It wasnt ideal as I was still getting very much disturbed sleep, but it was better than getting up and down.

I would go with 3 but I am huge softie

teething?

If he is a bit off colour his sleep may be suffering because of that so I'd be reluctant to do anything more then pick up/put down tbh. Does he do this even when he is well or is he a bit better then?

My ds didn't sleep the night through until he was over a year old and on bad nights was similar to what you describe and worse in that he would often stay awake for 1-2 hours on some of the wake-ups. Good nights were 1-2 wake-ups with a quick re-settle so I do understand how bad it is.

I did try co-sleeping but for us that made things worse not sure if you are willing to try that?

When ds was 5/56 months old and couldn't stand the lack of sleep any more what I did was to get dh to do the wake-ups for a night. He would bring ds in for a feed (maximum once in the night) and deal with the rest of the night himself . I slept in another room with earplugs . I was tired enough that I really could ignore the extra crying that was happening and I told myself that ds had dh, he may have preferred me but he wasn't on his own so that was enough for my conscience.

I did this once every week or 10 days or so so that I could have at least one night of unbroken sleep to look forward to on a regular basis. It was a sanity saver. Is there any way you could do something similar?

I did wonder though, whether my snoring, or just generally being in a room with others was a factor in his night disturbances.

One night of shush-patting and camping out in his room after we'd moved out and gone into our new loft bedroom and it was all over.

Ds similar. Woke every two hours for, oh, 10 months or so.

Did what VVVQV did.

The other thing was that ds cried a lot with me anyway in the night and wasn't easily soothed - brastfeeding was of limited value for this. He would feed then stsrt crying again. He just cried a bit more with dh but the fact that I knew he would cry with me as well meant I could sleep through it when I needed to IYSWIM

yes, quite possibly teething, olive (dribbly, fingers always in/around mouth) but he's pretty awful anyway, even when appearing to be well

could try putting dh on duty one night a week but i'm not sure he has the jiggle down to a fine art - he could be up all night worth a go though...

VVV - I too found that ds in fact slept better not in our room, though he wan't great even then - just better than when he was with us.

i might try camping out in his room with him for a night to see if that makes a difference (not sure why it would though)

his room next to ds1's so am a little nervous about it - last time we tried it ds1 woke at 4am and didn't go back to sleep...

Tutter - but even if your dh is up all night for one night, it is only one night a week or less and as such he can probably deal with that particularly if you give him a bit of a lie in - which you will be able to do if you have slept all night. Your sleep deprivation is chronic and you need some respite even if it is not every night.

Great sympathies... 4 months is a notorious time for sleep to go wonky (did with my DS, now 9mo).

I have gone for 3 as I'm not a fan of CC at any age really, but especially so young. Don't know much about pu/pd but I really couldn't see it working for my LO.

It has got easier as he's got older, although at the moment he is ill so it's all gone tits up again. But generally it's much easier than when he was 4/5 months.

Also he does now pretty much self-settle for naps and bedtime, this has just come with age, but doesn't make much difference to the night wakings imo!

We did 4, which was "co-sleep till 7m, then do what you can to get you through (inc feeding in the night) till DS2 walked, then he wore himself out and slept all night".

I empathise greatly.

tbh even when he's in bed with us he still wakes and can't settle himself

gecko has been waking at least once an hour between 8pm and 7am for a few nights now

I agree that wits end is a scary place

shes 9 and a half months

What I would try:

1. Turn heater off and ensure fresh air in room - compensate by wrapping him up well. Body suit under the sleepsuit perhaps? I'm probably doing all the things you shouldn't but if it's v cold, I also put a little cardigan on baby too.
2. If I do have to get him up for feed / settle etc, place hot water bottle in cot so bed is nice and snug for him to get back in to. (obv remove when you put him back!)
3. Get as many burps out of him as poss.
4. Get DP to settle him instead of it being you.

Not sure if any of that is of any use! Good luck.

rowlers, without heater it is too blardy cold in room for me to bear getting out of bed

makes me resentful of ds2

Sounds to me that if he's still crying when in bed with you, it's not so much that he can't settle himself but something is keeping him awake. If you've ruled out hunger, temperature then quite possibly it could be those teeth moving around.

My DD was exactly the same but with age came much more settled sleep (most of the time) IME the ability to self settle made no difference at all to night wakings. My DD could put herself to sleep and wake 5 times or I'd hold / feed to sleep and she'd sleep for hours. I tried PU/ PD at about 4 months and it was a nightmare. Really confused her. In the end we opted for option 3 and gradually we're getting there.

ooooh tipex, sympathies

have you tried a dummy? or white noise (e.g. untuned radio)? both seem to help my ds2

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will read your thread cod

basically, ds2 is a shit sleeper