Anyone have a gentle way to convince 4 mth DS to sleep without mummy as a mattress?

[christmascactus]

Hi all, any advice or just reassurance would be lovely
DS never was a 'sleeper' but has got over his earlier colicky phase, but will not sleep (either for naps or at night) without it being on my knee or with me next to him.
Co sleep and want to continue, but would love to get him to sleep alone at least for the evening.
Keep hoping like the colic it might just settle on its own, but really would like some of my evenings back!

hi christmas cactus! i was just debating this on another sleep thread.

I can sympathise (I too have a sleepless 4 month old - they're this season's latest fashion accessory, don't you know - never be without one ).

FWIW I can get some evening to myself by rocking/feeding to sleep then lying by him until he's in deep sleep, but this can take a good 30 minutes of sleep before I can safely leave. I wait until he doesn't startle at all if I move, his breathing becomes almost silent and he is completely limp, and I pat or rub his back/thigh all the time then lay him on his side with a pillow/blanket bolster and stay a bit longer for luck. You really do have to just get your head round the whole process taking literally hours before you start though, or you get impatient and it doesn't work. He also often wakens after 45 minutes [rolls eyes] and on good nights I resettle him, on bad nights I give up and go to bed with him. I'm just debating whether to do that tonight as I've already been back once (started to put him to bed at 6.15!).

Probably no help to you at all, sorry, but I chant 'this too shall pass' for hours on end while rocking ... .

My little one usually seems to want to sleep in the early evening, and sometimes stays asleep then bar waking for a feed when I take bigger boy up to bed.

And a few more in the night...or possibly every hour from midnight till 9am. etc.

So I didn't mean to, but I am getting evening time to do stuff. He usually only falls asleep feeding though. Have never tried leaving him to settle himself.

He is nearly 6 months btw. HTH!

Must-have accessory. Absolutely. Mine's in pale pink (deepening to bright red when very cross). No advice - just sympathy. My 4 month old has turned into a rubbish sleeper. Will only sleep in our arms in the early part of the evening and later in bed with my nipple in her mouth - oh what bad habits we fall into when sleep-deprived and desperate. I thought Emzy's link was interesting and think I might give this a go. Something drastic has to be done.

(And hi, CSB - you posted on my thread last week when I was convinced sudden rubbish sleeping was colic or something. Now believe it just to be One of Those Things.)

Oh dotty ... ... hope it is soon replaced by sudden amazing long peaceful sleeping thing.

This was posted recently, might be of interest to you in particular dotty, but posted here because her advice is great and might help anyone with a rubbish sleeper (christmascactus?!).

linky

Off to resettle mine for the 3rd time tonight ... oh fuck it, I'm going to bed :heavy sigh:

Thanks girls for all the speedy replies!
Did not realise it is so common, all the NCT group which sometimes get to think I am mad! - good to know I am up with the latest fashion ! LOL the pink / red version.
Chubbyscotsbird and Columbia - where do you settle your babies for the evening? I think maybe I should settle my little boy on our bed and give up on the cot idea, which he hates. Is that what you do?
Thanks for the link EmZy it looks interesting. I am hoping that he will start to settle on his own when he is ready, but may end up having to try something like that I guess.
I think I have difficulty as I can't help but think it makes sense in evolutionary terms for a baby not to settle without its parent there - so I just end up hoping it will pass like his colicky phase (truely awful as that was) passed too...... but may have a long time to wait though!

Yes, on our bed. I've removed the side of his cotbed and rammed the bed alongside it so I do sometimes try to get him in the cot. But it's easier to leave him on the bed if I'm BFing him to sleep (or I have to get in the cot myself, which has been known ...!). I'm not even thinking about when he can crawl, my head would explode.

Interesting you mention the evolutionary wisdom of their need for a parental presence - I was trying to sell this same theory to my HV this morning! She just smiled and nodded in bemusement. I think I'm on her 'lost cause' list.