Need help with 7 month old who struggles to stay asleep

[BlackcurrantTea]

Hi,

I desperately need advice about my just turned seven month old. She's been a dreadful sleeper since birth - for the first three months she would only sleep in the pram or in mine / DH's arms. The moment we put her down anywhere she would wake, usually instantly but if not instantly within ten mins.

At three months, I started managing to put her down but only sometimes, and only next to me in bed. As soon as she could roll it helped a bit as she'd roll onto her side and sleep for slightly longer stretches but she still normally wakes and needs resettling around 10 times a night minimum and often lots more. Sometimes resettling will be as quick as putting a dummy in but it regularly requires me to pick her up, feed her, rock her, shush her and stroke her forehead.

We already have white noise on in the background all night every night but she's such a light sleeper - my DH has had to move into the other room as him breathing deeply or moving in his sleep would wake her up. DM and MIL have now met her and were both astonished at just how lightly she sleeps - no matter how long she's been down, whispering will wake her.

Feeling at breaking point again. Put her to bed at seven, took the usual forty-five minutes ish to get her to sleep, she woke after thirty minutes as usual, took the usual half an hour or so to get her back to sleep. I then spend my evenings in silence in the bedroom with her as if I don't go to resettle her instantly, she wakes up properly and then takes ages for me to get her back to sleep. When I got into bed at 11 she stirred properly and between 11 and 1.45am she just kept nearly getting back to sleep but not quite and waking up and crying. At 1.45 I gave calpol in case it was teething (didn't think it was but she has been recently and I didn't want to take my chances) and the taste of it calmed her and she got drowsier and drowsier until she very nearly fell asleep at 2, but then at the moment of going to sleep woke herself up properly, cried and needed to start the feed rock shush pat stroke routine all over again. And she's just dropped back off now at 2.30. Don't want to risk putting her down again as she is getting increasingly tired and harder to settle so I'm stuck holding her for this sleep cycle and feeling frustrated and bloody exhausted.

And just as I was about to post this, she just woke crying again, without even waking up properly. And so it continues.

Please help. Do I need to talk to a doctor? I'm worried there's something wrong with her.

I would happily do some sleep training if I thought it would help as she must be so exhausted and I am too but as far as I understand it, they all involve getting them gradually less reliant on you to settle and often even if I do all I can to help her she still can't settle.

Thank you if you got to the end of this .

Anyone? I'm so desperate . After the awful night we had, she's so overtired today she's refusing to nap.

That sound like torture @BlackcurrantTea. It does sound like she’s in vicious cycle of being overtired. What is her daytime sleep normally like? Where does she sleep in day? Is she weaning?

I’d try to get some decent quality day time naps out of her as that should help her being less overtired and hyper stimulated at night. I was thinking if she sleeps in pram can family take her out for a long push while you rest.

No great ideas but you have to start somewhere and I wonder if day time easier to tackle/get help with. Can you post a typical day naps and feeds?

Much sympathy

Thank you for the sympathy and for replying. She's not in a steady routine for naps but usually gets a reasonable amount of sleep in the day.

In the end today her routine was approx:

7am wake and breastfeed
8am porridge and peanut butter
9.45 am nap for 30 mins (took 45 mins of walking her in buggy to get her to fall asleep)
11.30 breastfeed
12 nap for 30 mins (took about 45 mins of rocking and shushing to get to sleep, screamed when put in sling where she often naps well)
12.30 four tbsp puree (one each of chickpea, sweet potato, red pepper and then apricot) plus three baby crisps
2.30 fell asleep in car for 1h15 mins altogether but stirred every thirty mins and cried each time
5 dinner (four tbsp of puree - three of beef casserole, one of mixed fruit puree)
7 breastfeed and sleep for hopefully the night, stirred after thirty mins and needed resettling.

So 2h 15 mins total sleep in the day - was better than I expected to be honest as she fought it so hard. She normally naps a bit more than that but it's so unpredictable. I can't get her to nap when she's not ready for it. She either naps in my arms, in the buggy or in the sling (we don't have a car, was in family's car today).

I’m following this because we’re in a similar situation, though not quite as awful as yours (sorry). DC1 was like what you describe and we sleep trained at 10 months which improved things slightly. I think babies like them tend to be very resistant to sleep training. She started sleeping through at 14 months old, and she’s now 2yo and falls asleep within 10 seconds in the car and even a pneumatic drill wouldn’t wake her. It does get easier and nothing was wrong with her. I think she just hated being a baby. I know I haven’t said much of use, I’m sleep deprived from DC2! But just saying it does get easier

I think she needs to learn how to fall asleep herself without your help. Because the strategies you are using to settle her are taking ages and she is waking every sleep cycle. My DS1 was the same at this age and I ended up putting him in his own room and doing CC because I was so broken at the lack of sleep (and he was too). The pp is right though, she will be resistant and there will be crying... However I reckoned crying every forty minutes at night was worse, even co-sleeping made no difference.

@TooMinty isn't appropriate for a bf baby as night weaning shouldn't take place till around 18m

I'd keep DC in a sling till I went to bed and then co-sleep. One of the major benefits of bf is learning to feed on your side so DC can do self-service overnight.

I'm currently ebf DS3 (3m), he co-sleeps and is awake for a while each night but he just wriggles quietly as long as he has a hand on him so I continue to sleep. Mostly he can latch on himself now so I rarely have to wake for that.

You might be anti co-sleeping but I'd really recommend going with their(DC's) flow and making life easy for yourself

I didn't night wean at the same time as sleep training. He still woke up once per night and I breastfed him at that wake up. I just didn't feed him to sleep at bedtime or every forty minutes during the night. He had 5 or 6 bfs plus 3 solid meals during a 24 hour period.

And co-sleeping is great if it works but I tried it before sleep training (because I didn't want to go straight to letting my baby cry...) and it didn't result in more sleep for anyone. He didn't settle better being close to me, he didn't roll over and latch himself on, he still woke screaming every 40 minutes. I'm not saying she shouldn't try first and I'm not saying she has to sleep train but she obviously wants things to change?

@User0ne it also isn’t appropriate to just make up random guidelines! There’s no reason you can’t sleep train or nightwean a breastfed baby

Sounds like she is completely over tired (and i guess you are exhausted. Hang in there mama!)

Its great that overall she is doing 7-7 at night (even with wakings as the foundation is there)

When its taking 45 mins to get her to sleep is she crying or just wide awake? At 7 months they should be awake 2/3 hours between sleeps so crying suggests over tiredness and alertness suggests under tired.

Half hour catnaps are because she is unable to self settle between sleep cycles and unfortunately that does take an element of sleep training. Might be worth taking a step back at your approach as sometimes white noise/ rocking/ shhing patting can cause over stimulation and wake your baby up more than allowing them time to try and self settle. The best way for babys to learn this is to settle in their cot- this way when they wake between sleep cycles their brain is reassured that the environment is the same as when they went to sleep, it relaxes the baby and allows them to reself settle.

Breastfeeding optimal time is 12-2am
Sounds like she may need a bit more food during the days. Try adding some finger food.

Sleep is so tricky isn't it. xx

Bumping as going through the same with my 7 month old! Did you have any luck OP?