Dummy help

[Tee20x]

Quick one about dummies,

Are there any that are good for babies with tongue tie? DD is soon approaching 6 months old and have been trying to get her to sleep independently so have tried her with a dummy but she doesn't seem to be able to suck it properly, it looks as if she tries but it sort it thrusts out of her mouth, but if it falls out she opens her mouth for it to be reinserted or she will sometimes manage to do it herself.

I am wondering whether;

1. She is simply a dummy refuser
2. I have waited too long to introduce it so she needs more time to get used to it
3. Tongue tie is causing the issue

She breast feeds effectively and has put on weight well since birth - currently on 90th percentile. Tongue tie was diagnosed at first checkup with midwife but I was told that it was only mild and shouldn't be an issue as she is feeding well.

Have tried 2 different types of MAM soother - one which is meant to be shaped like a nipple and another which came with a starter cup (sorry can't remember the name)

Any tips :( ???
Any tips?

She might just need time to get used to it or simply is a refuser. But these are the only dummies my DD would take (I tried Nuk, Mam & Tommee Tippee).. pretty sure she had a mild tongue tie but these worked for her. They’re kind of expensive though - I get them on Amazon.

My DD didn't have a tongue tie but did have a very high palate and they couldn't find any other reason for the troubles I had breastfeeding her. She would only use Avent dummies initially like PP she refused other brands we tried. So they might be worth a try. But ultimately lots of babies just don't take to any.

DD is soon approaching 6 months old

You've left it too late to introduce a dummy. That's the main reason. I would generally expect is dummy unlikely to be accepted after 5 months. They are even hard to get established at 4 months

Dumny wants to be established in the newborn (first 12 weeks) stage, when baby has a sucking reflex. By 6 months baby has lost that reflex, as part of readiness to wean.

It's not to do with tongue the. And every refused can eventually get the dumny with enough effort, if done in the first 3 months. You've just left it too late in afraid.

Certsinly try to get a dummy accepted. They are worth their weight in gold as a no crying way yo get independent sleep. But go into it with an expectation that it likely won't be accepted at this age.

@Vicky1989x @MeadowHay thanks for suggestions, I will give her a go with them and see how I get on.

@FATEdestiny ugh so annoyed with myself! On a different thread I discussed the fact that I (wrongly) was under the impression that it was better to not give a dummy as had heard horror stories about taking them away.

I tried to introduce a few months ago by giving at the start of naps and night time sleep but found that the issue with the sucking sometimes meant that the dummy was keeping her up.

Now that it is likely the dummy is out of the window, is there anything else I should be trying e.g comforting toy or am I destined for tears.

Want to get the little ones sleep sorted but I feel as if I am afraid of the tears.

I tried to introduce a few months ago...

If she had a dummy a few months ago then you might be in luck if you're re-introducing it. What's really important is consistency, it sounds like you've not been consistent with dummy use and (as with all aspects of independent sleep) being consistent in approach is very important.

She's just got to learn that when she sucks it through to sleep that the sucking is comforting. But she doesn't fully "get", so it's a case of keep practicing and keep trying until she realises how to utilise the dummy to help herself.

Without a dummy, consider if you are willing to take the very gentle, very slow route out of attachment parenting. If you're happy to take your time (realistic expectations 2-3y until fully independent) then you can do it without much tears. Then make ways to make Cosleeping feeding/cuddling to sleep work for you both long term.

Otherwise, if you're wanting/needing baby sleeping independently soonish, there will be tears and distress - lots of.

Our midwife discouraged dummy use because she claimed that they can negatively affect an infant's ability to latch onto the mother's breast.

We got by without a dummy so perhaps you can, too.

@FATEdestiny my 8 week old seems to be a dummy refuser, we have tried her since birth with a dummy and still do sometimes now. However she gags really badly on it and then refuses it. After we’ve tried a dummy she then takes a few extra seconds to take her bottle. Almost as if she’s making sure it’s a bottle and not a dummy. We have tried every single dummy type, shape and size you can get. Any other tips on how to maybe get her to take one? Or is she just never going to take one?

Reason I’m asking is because she sometimes feeds every 2 hours still and it’s more comfort than hunger.

@Notyoregularmum at 8 weeks old - keep trying. Like, all the time not just occassionally.

I have four children and after the usual FTM hint of snobbishness at not wanting one with my first and then introducing a dummy at around 4-5 months, my DC2 and DC3 had a dummy from birth moreorless. So when DC4 came along and was not taking to a dummy naturally - I knew the high value of a dummy and so worked very, very hard to get it accepted. Imagine if you couldn't breastfeed and you had a baby refusing a bottle - it's not something that you can just say "oh, OK then" and accept. You Just. Keep Going. Knowing that you absolutely must get a bottle accepted. Same goes for dummy in my personal and professional opinion. I worked very, very hard and consistently to get dummy accepted by DC4 starting from about 2 weeks old (BF established, over birth weight and gaining well) and she finally accepted it at 7 weeks. Worth noting that within a few days of her accepting the dummy she was 11pm-7am night weaned - because she got her comfort from the dummy rather than the breast.

Anyway, enough about me...

Tips?

Putting dummy in

• The way you give dummy is important. Baby should actively take the dummy and not have it passively put in their mouth. Much like baby taking the nipple, she needs to actively seek and latch the dummy teat.
• Tickle baby's cheek so she turns and reaches for it with her mouth. Or tickle upper lip similarly so she reaches up for the teat.
• When putting dummy in mouth, aim upwards rather than backwards. Upwards to the roof of the mouth triggers the sucking reflex.
• If dummy is in the mouth and not being sucked, tapping (gently) the outside triggers a sucking reflex.
• If dummy is not being sucked despite being tapped, remove and start again. It's like latching for breastfeeding - if the latch isn't right you have to stop and start again. Tickle cheek/lip, make sure baby reaches for dummy actively and dont put in unless it is. Dummy teat aimed upwards not backwards. Tap outside once "latched" to dummy to encourage dummy sucking.
• If not being sucked again, remove and try again. Over and over and over and over again. Never, ever leave that dummy sitting passively in the mouth. NEVER.

-When? How?_

• Basically try all the time
• Try every single sleep time.
• Try when awake, happy and playing
• Try while rocking/cuddling in your arms
• Whip nipple/bottle out and dummy in after a feed
• Get other people to try
• Basically consider it vital. In my opinion (as a sleep consultant, and a Mum) dummy absolutely is vital.
• I find cheery teat (the round bulbous ones) dummies are best. Other people like flat ones - try lots of different ones.

-Basic Dummy Use_

• Dummy will be actively sucked constantly as a comfort to go from awake to light sleep. If sucking slows in this stage, tap outside of dummy to maintain dummy sucks.
• You'll see baby's eyes close and dummy sucking will slow to occasional flutter sucks once in a light sleep. Don't tap to encourage sucking now, because it will wake baby up.
• Once in a deep, every muscle in the body relaxes - including the jaw and mouth muscles. Mouth will go slack and dummy drop once in a deep sleep.
• To get from awake to a deep sleep should take around 10 minutes. So expect dummy to drop within 10 mins of going to sleep and stay with baby (ideally in contact - hand on chest) until it does. Then you know baby is in a deep sleep not still a light sleep.
• If occasional sucking or flutter sucking continues after 10 mins into sleep, then baby is staying in a light sleep. Look at reasons for this - probably over tired. Dummy shouldn't stay in baby's mouth while asleep, only when going to sleep.

HTH

@FATEdestiny Thank you so much. We will try this out. Why do you think baby gags on a dummy? That’s the thing that is off putting for us, is that every time we try she gags on it. I did try give her one after her bottle and she gagged on it and made her vomit (it wasn’t a little bit of vomit, it was a lot as well).

Gagging suggests you're going towards the back of the throat, rather that upwards in the mouth. Can be to do with dummy size/shape too - basically the gag reflex comes when something goes too far down back of throat.

Encourage the baby to actively take the dummy by mimicking breastfeeding latching slope techniques. Use gentle cheek or lip stimulation to prompt the baby to "seek" the dummy.

It could be a combination of factors. Some babies simply refuse dummies, especially if introduced later. However, tongue tie can make it harder for babies to maintain suction, even if they breastfeed well. Since she’s showing interest but struggling to keep it in, a different a little to the left shape might help—try flatter, orthodontic dummies like NUK or Tommee Tippee Ultra-Light, which are easier to hold in the mouth. You might also check if her tongue mobility has changed since birth, as mild ties can sometimes become more noticeable over time. If she continues to struggle, a lactation consultant or pediatrician could assess if the tie is affecting her ability to use a soother.

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