Baby just started sleeping 5/6hr stretches but then wakes up frequently from then on

[LGBirmingham]

Hi I wonder if anyone else has experienced this?

My son, 6 months old, has just started doing 5 or 6 hr stretches at the start of the night. Hopefully this will continue and isn't a fluke. But then he'll still wakes 3 times in the night but they're all clustered in the second half of the night and he won't really sleep for more than 1.5 hours in a go from then on.

I feel even more tired even though he's now doing some long stretches.

Has anyone else had this? Does anyone know if there's anything I can do about it?

Thanks

It's part of the human natural body clock that sleep is lighter in the early hours of the morning than it is in hours after first going to bed. So it is quite normal for baby's longest stretch of sleep to be when first going to bed because the pressure to sleep is greatest then.

The key to good sleep hygiene is that when light sleeping, to still be able to sleep. But any amount of problems with sleep habits will show themselves more when sleep is light - because this is the time when it's hardest to stay asleep and easiest to wake up.

The most usual reasons for this are:

• Restless sleep from being overtired by lack of total sleep over the last 24/48h
• Not going to sleep independently, in the cot, so confusion causing the wake ups
• Not having independent settling nailed yet (which is normal for the age)

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That’s really normal. My 13mo would be similar, the first half of the night is always better sleep-wise and then towards dawn he’ll feed and sleep on and off in short bursts. I don’t think there’s much you can do except give it time.

The first sleep stretch is normally the longest. Most parents will say the same so it’s to totally normal. Waking every hour after that is also normal.
You just have to keep giving a feed or Putting back to sleep and know that the stretches do get longer as the months pass!

Thanks for the replies all. Very reassuring. Sleep has always been shorter in the morning for us two. But before it might've been a couple of 3 or 4 hr stretches followed by a 2 hr if lucky then a 1 hr or something like that. I guess I just imagined when he started sleeping 6 hr stretches it would mean dropping a wake up not just clustering them all together at the end?

@FATEdestiny thanks for your reply. I've seen a few of your comments and it seems like you know your stuff!

Any further advice? He's fed to sleep but after the second wake up he comes in beside me so he is falling asleep in the places he stays asleep at that point.

Also on occasion when I put him in the cot at the start of the night he wakes and I'm able to settle him there but it never seems to have made any difference to how well he sleeps.

In terms of naps that could well be the issue. His wake windows are expanding, not quite nailing them at the moment, and provided the first two naps go well the third nap is getting very short these days. I think soon he will be ready for only 2 naps.

Consistency is very important after 4 months old and your lack of consistency could be part of the problem.

• sometimes fed to sleep and put in cot asleep
• sometimes fed to sleep and non-independant sleep
• sometimes independent settling in the cot and independant sleep.
• daytime naps, you don't mention. Are these similarly mixed messages?

If you are looking to independant sleep, the latter needs to be your expectations at all times, daytime naps, bedtime, night wakes.

If you want to attachment parent, give consistency. Your baby will learn better sleep hygiene without use if the cot long term if you are an attachment parent.

The issue right now is you are half-doing it. Half-ass never works out. Be consistent.

@FATEdestiny sorry for the very slow reply! I've decided to get my son set up on a floor bed and feed/cuddle him to sleep there. I've been doing this thing where you unlatch him before he's totally asleep and he falls asleep in my lap. I figure if I keep doing that and unlatch earlier as he gets used to it I ought to have a baby that I can cuddle to sleep rather than feed?

I don't want to be a full time attatchment parent as I need a few hours to myself in the evenings. But equally I just can't stand the tears and settling in the cot is rarely achievable.

I read the book by Sarah Ockwell-Smith and it seems a floor bed could be the right compromise for me.

That's great progress.

Attachment Parenting doesn't mean you can't have some time to yourself in the evening. Absolutely you can.

You'd be better feeding him to sleep lying down on the floor bed. That way you haven't got to put him down. You just unlatch, cuddle without sucking for a bit and then ninja style sneak away without disturbing baby.

You're then absolutely right - the idea is yo unlatch earlier and earlier over time, to move towards (lying down) cuddling to sleep instead of feeding to sleep.

If he's falling asleep on your lap then for good sleep hygiene he should stay in your lap throughout the sleep. Lots of parents are happy with this during the daytime. But at night, because he needs to be lying down and not in your arms, better to develop that habit of moving to a lying down feed so he is then left exactly where he is once unlatched and asleep.

@FATEdestiny yes he often naps in my lap. Or sometimes a lying down lap in the single bed in his room. He also naps in the pushchair chair but normally for just the third nap of the day which is a short one. Because he still needs 3 naps one has to be a walk for my sanity otherwise most of the day is inside. He used to nap a lot in the carrier but he's quite big now and I don't think it's as cosy for him as it used to be.

Is there a stage post cuddles where you get him just falling asleep alone? Around 8 weeks old I was following the baby whisperer book and used to sush pat to sleep. It worked brilliantly for a little bit but then later he often balled his eyes out and then woke up after only 20 mins sleep most of the time. It was partly this EASY routine not working with his reflux I think. Feeding him then putting him down to play on the floor just triggered the reflux and by the time he needed to sleep, as the wake window was so short at this point, he was screaming, gagging and arching his back. Then laying him down flat in the moses basket was awful too. I didn't want to slow his development but not giving him floor time and just holding him upright the whole time he was awake. This is how we happened on feeding after playing and sleeping inclined in my lap.

Anyway I digressed. I like the idea of falling asleep where you stay asleep and independent settling but I don't have it in me to leave a baby crying.

There is a process called habit stacking.

So you add on sleep cues to what you do currently, so that you can withdraw one of the habits and replace with another.

For example you might pat his bum while cuddling to sleep. Then over time you unlatch from the feed and roll away, but stay patting his bum. So that after the feed he isn't needing physical contact but is patted instead.

Then just part his bum when fussing. Keep your hand on his bum when he's calm out restart patting if he fusses. The idea is that you work towards a quick pat and then hand stationary on him. Then do the same with hand on him. So hand on him if fussing, remove hand and just stand nearby when calm, but hand back if fussing.

You can also habit stack with something he can do himself. For example maybe snuggle a muslin or blankie to his face when feeding/cuddling so this becomes a comforter. You can physically assist him doing this until he has the motor skills to do it himself.

I should just add a caveat to that last paragraph. Lullaby Trust recommend a clear cot until baby is 12 months old, in order to reduce sudden infant deaths. So comforters are not considered safe until first birthday.

Yes I've tried habit stacking with bottom patting and white noise but neither seem to working without feeding or motion. At what point do you usually find you can make the switch?

Oh it's a long, long time. 6-12 months would be a reasonable approximation.

Do you co sleep, op? Obviously you have to make sure his nappy is clean and give him a feed or drink if he wants but babies often go back to sleep for quite a while if they are with mum and dad.