Please can I have some advice about early wake ups in ~1 year old?

[TenLittlePirates]

I’d love some advice re: my 11 (nearly 12) month old. We went through what I assume was the 8/9 month regression. For about 1 month naps were stuck at 40 minutes and we had a few night wakings - exactly as happened at 4 months. It got better, but we’ve been left with a problem since. Morning wake up has been getting earlier and earlier. It’s now at 5-5:30am and has been for ages. I’d ideally like to get it back to 6:30 as that is perfect for my job.

Day is like this:

5-5:30 wake up
Nap 1: 8:30-9:00 (He’s woken from this by whoever is caring for him)
Nap 2: 13:00-14:45 (he wakes himself up between 14:30 and 15:00)
Bedtime 19:30. Either sleeps through or has a breastfeed at about 3am if he hasn’t eaten so well the day before. Settles fine at 3am back in cot.

He self settles. We have black out blinds and white noise. Bedtime can’t be much before 19:30 due to my job - 19:00 would be okay. Happy for bedtime to be later, we just fell on 19:30 as that seemed to suit his rhythm. Thank you in advance!

Have you tried leaving him a bit to see if he goes back to sleep?

I think when they're that little then anything after 5.30am is a bonus to be honest.

I would be inclined to lengthen that morning nap, I don't think he's getting enough daytime sleep. Your average two-nap schedule assumes 15h total sleep in 24 hours - usually in the form of 12h overnight / 3h daytime, 11h overnight / 4h daytime or 10h overnight / 5h daytime.

Obviously there's some give or take to allow for individuals. But yours at 10h overnight / 2.5h day time us very, very low.

When baby gets sleep deprived, it means that at times when sleep us naturally lighter, they are more likely to be woken in that light sleep phase. Early mornings are times of light sleep.

Thanks so much @FATEdestiny. I suspect you may be right. When he was sleeping 11h+ overnight, if that morning nap was >30 mins or if napping was much over 2.5h it affected bedtime. As his nighttime is dropping though I probably should have thought to increase his naps. Any maximum on napping at this age? Don’t want nightingales being chipped away further ideally. Thanks again.

*night time

When mine woke at that time I would go in, cuddle, settle, put down, rinse & repeat until they either slept or it got to 7pm.

Maybe use a grow clock too and make a big deal out of 'ooh, the light's on, now we can go downstairs ...' It might not work, but it can't hurt!

Will he go back to sleep if he comes into bed with you?

I've grown to enjoy it. They wake, I resettle and then I go and have a coffee on my own for 30 mins before they rewake for the day. It's my only time on my own.

I’d push the morning nap a bit later and not put him down for it before 9.

I’d also treat any wake up before 6.30am as a night waking - bring him in to bed with you, give him a drink or whatever is necessary, but everyone stays lying down with lights out until 6.30.

@TenLittlePirates

Thanks so much *@FATEdestiny*. I suspect you may be right. When he was sleeping 11h+ overnight, if that morning nap was >30 mins or if napping was much over 2.5h it affected bedtime. As his nighttime is dropping though I probably should have thought to increase his naps. Any maximum on napping at this age? Don’t want nightingales being chipped away further ideally. Thanks again.

No limits needed on napping at this stage. I wouldn't start considering limiting sleep until on 1-nap days.

For two nap days, aim to stretch your awake times as the day progresses. The usual rule to follow is 234 - so 2h awake window from waking up to AM nap, then 3h between waking from AM nap and going to sleep for PM nap, then 4h from waking from PM nap until bedroom.

For the two naps, my favour would be two 90 minute plus naps. So I'd be aiming for 2h + 2h then 11h overnight. If you're more of a fan of 12h overnight then 45min + 2h15m but I think this will be a stretch for your baby from where you are. Plus I think that 11h over night is much more realistic for baby anyway. This then means absolutely don't limit your morning nap unless it goes over 2h long - which is clearly far, far more sleep than you're currently allowing.

Mine is a few weeks older. He sleeps 20h-8h and naps 13h-16h. Works great for me, especially as I have his older brother on a similar routine so I can nap too.

A few thoughts :

• leave a bottle of water (the kind that doesn't spill) with him so he can drink if he is thirsty

• leave toys in bed for him to entertain himself if he wakes up early

• you don't have to jump the moment he stirs. Even if he's awake at 5h30, staying in bed until 6am won't hurt him.

Mine know that get up time is at 8am and they won't be allowed out of bed before then. I'm sure there will be people saying that I'm evil for doing this but I think this routine is good for them and it allows me to stay sane as I work full time and don't get a minute to myself.