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So confused with this nap malacky

6 replies

Bobbiblue · 09/06/2021 09:24

Morning everyone!
I need some clarification please. I read so many posts but not clear answers. It's driving me insane. I seem someone I think called fate destiny that very knowledgeable

My LG wakes from 230am sometime 330am onwards - she is 15weeks almost. She will sleep but has to be in my arms.... Extremely unsettled So I wonder if overtired... 🤔 Am trying the settling in cot last few nights, or pick up wait till drowsy and pop her back in and finish settling in cot - some success with this. She will drop off ranging from 10 mins to 50mins then wants resettling again.. She is not hungry and will scream at me not to be fed. If she takes any milk it may be 60ml maybe 100ml at a push.

She naps about 4 hours a day..... Is this not enough? Too much? Bedtime is usually 630pm/7pm. She's had enough by then and wants her bed, she does not self settle and ends up being held to sleep past the first sleep cycle - for getting her to sleep initially. Have tried it in middle of morning but she isn't having any of it and wakes almost straight away

Doesn't want a dream feed - she will not take milk if she doesn't want it - her screaming at me for a few days showed me she didn't want it. She sometimes wakes at 10pm, for a resettle or needs her dummy.... And generally settles pretty quick (jinxed it now)

She has a dummy. In sleeping bag so is right temp. Completely dark in rooms. White noise.

Any suggestions? I'm trying sleep of no more then 2 hours awake. Nap in morning 1.5 hours. Nap 1.5 hours at lunch time ish then cat nap about 4pm for 1 hour. Naps are on me too! Very rare can I get her in her bouncer or pram.... If I go out when she having a nap she will wake after 45mins....

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Bobbiblue · 09/06/2021 09:27

Oh and she will only have 4 bottles a day ranging from 180ml to 210ml weighs about 16lb

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 09/06/2021 20:49

Any suggestions? I'm trying sleep of no more then 2 hours awake. Nap in morning 1.5 hours. Nap 1.5 hours at lunch time ish then cat nap about 4pm for 1 hour. Naps are on me too! Very rare can I get her in her bouncer or pram.... If I go out when she having a nap she will wake after 45mins....

Starting at the end of your paragraph there, 45 minute naps are by no means a bad thing at this age and would be considered normal. If teaching your baby to sleep independently (ie not in your arms, to go to sleep in a cot / crib / pram / bouncer) then you might need to accept one-cycle naps in the short term as baby learns to link cycles indendently.

All you need do if naps are shorter is to reduce awake window (so more naps per day). The general guidance to work to at this stage is the awake window wants to be around double nap length, give or take 15 mins, and not more than 2h. So 45 minute naps means 90 mins awake window.

If you are happy to embrace attachment parenting (so holding baby for naps and cosleeping - whereby you are baby's comfort) then the naps as you have then (two 1.5h and one 1h, with 2h awake windows) is fine. It's much easier for baby to link cycles when the comfort mechanism (you) are right there all the time in the sleep.

My LG wakes from 230am sometime 330am onwards - she is 15weeks almost. She will sleep but has to be in my arms.... Extremely unsettled So I wonder if overtired... 🤔 Am trying the settling in cot last few nights, or pick up wait till drowsy and pop her back in and finish settling in cot - some success with this. She will drop off ranging from 10 mins to 50mins then wants resettling again..

Sounds like she needs more help than you are giving her to sleep independently. She needs to go from fully awake to asleep all in the cot, and every time. So seperate feeding and sleeping - in the daytime feed her when she wakes up, rather than going to sleep. At night feed at the start of bedtime routine, not the end.

Then accept she'll need loads of comforting in the cot to sleep. A sidecar cot makes this easier. But also bending over into the cot helps also.

Keep her actively sucking the dummy by tapping the outside of the dummy if its sitting limply in her mouth. Cuddle physically close to her in the cot, have your face close to hers so she can feel and hear your breath. Put your hand on her chest and if she's 'flapping' (arms flapping around) hold her hands in yours on her chest. Then if she's unsettled add in some tapping. If not, just stay there stationary and wait. Keep bending into the cot, one hand on chest keeping her arms/legs still and patting if needed. Other hand in charge of dummy reinserts and keeping active sucking going, and face right next to baby's face in the cot. Obviously all this is easier with a sidecar cot (one side removed off a full sized cot), but possible with a normal cot on the high mattress setting too.

The key thing you need to work on is getting baby to go from awake to asleep all in the cot, every time. Not putting down asleep, not putting down nearly asleep, not even drowsy, but properly awake going into the cot. Then all the settling done in there.

Bobbiblue · 10/06/2021 08:31

OK great. So as soon as she showing tired cues pop her to sleep? as sometimes even after 45mins she's wants a nap after an hour and half sleep. She likes to make a noise like a door creaking as first sign 😂and if u catch her here no fighting.

if she wants more sleep in the day then the above shall I let her?Yesterday she had 5.5 hours sleep and may have been fluke but omg - best night sleep ever. Woke at 230am - popped dummy in she went to sleep with no other intervention. Woke 415am, had to work for this one, but got her to sleep after 45mins in the cot yah go me! Unless that's a long time 😂 Then woke at 6am - happy with that. So shall I let her sleep as much as she wants in day? Does sleep beget sleep? As some people say it's a myth.

With shorter cycles how do we help her go into the next cycle in the day - wud this be as you suggested tapping dummy close to her and such?

OK great. I actually did that last night. My other half took her to her cot. Cuddle and kiss popped her down I come up, cuddle and kiss and popped her down, one hour and she was asleep, probably stayed longer then I needed too - think I was just making sure she was asleep properly. She's never fed to sleep 🤦🏼‍♀️ always a good gap between sleep and feeds, sometimes think it be easier if she did. Probably a blessing in disguise though. My friends 2 year old still feeds to sleep.

Great tips with side cot, we have one that rocks - no rocking at all? To help her? Or again making it difficult long term? I'm more for getting up and leaning over as she rolls onto her side and has gone onto stomach a few times - I can see her wriggling into our bed.

My OH says I shud let her go bed at 10pm to go through till 7am ish this isnt right? As she sleeps 7pm ish (upstairs about 645pm) till after midnight most nights. Occasionally stirs around 10pm/11pm for dummy but hey that's normal in my eyes. We argued massively about this last night.... 🤔 Probably first proper disagreement about her since she been born....

Can I work on night time sleeps first and then the naps once she mastered the night times? Or is that causing issues?

Thank you for your tips 😁 it's so hard knowing the right things with sleep and I can't keep rocking a 16lb baby (sure she gained weight since last Saturday) 😂 also its ranges so much across the board with people's views and such makes it confusing.

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 10/06/2021 13:49

So shall I let her sleep as much as she wants in day? Does sleep beget sleep?

She's only 15 weeks, so yes. Needing to limit daytime sleep is the stuff of the toddler years, not the baby years and absolutely not for the first 6 months. You are definitely over thinking here - your baby is not that far from being a newborn and it's to be expected that newborns basically sleep all the time.

So as soon as she showing tired cues pop her to sleep?

Yes. Put down to sleep at the first indication of a grumble, assuming you know the grumble isn't due to hunger or wind. It's a good habit to get into to feed upon baby waking up from a nap, then wind well. Then when you put baby down on the floor to play, you know that the next time baby grumbles it isn't due to hunger or wind, it must be tiredness.

With shorter cycles how do we help her go into the next cycle in the day - wud this be as you suggested tapping dummy close to her and such?

Yes. Key is to respond to baby before waking up. The sleep cycle will involve baby leaving the deep sleep phase and entering a light sleep phase. The aim of linking a sleep cycle is to go from that light sleep back into deep sleep. If baby wakes up from that light sleep, then the chances of going back to sleep are much harder.

So watch for the slight signs of moving out of the deep sleep phase. This might be something like an arm or leg moving, shuffling position, face screwing up. Start resettling then. If you wait until baby is crying or eyes open, then they've moved out of light sleep and are now awake - so resettle much harder.

Great tips with side cot, we have one that rocks - no rocking at all?

Moving is a great way to help baby sleep independently. So rocking the cot itself is fine. Just think forward with a view to planning to stop the need for movement (when moving into the big cot, for example). So rock to get baby off to sleep (and to resettle between cycles, if needed) but get her used to be stationary when asleep. Then consciously try to reduce the amount of time you rock and the tempo over time. So only ever give just enough rocking, stop as early as you can. Work toward just a quick back and forth rock needed to trigger sleep, then stationary. Then no movement at all. But it's a gradual change.

My OH says I shud let her go bed at 10pm to go through till 7am ish this isnt right?

Your baby should be in the same room as you for all sleeps. If you and DH are both downstairs until 10pm, so should baby. This is in line with the Safe Sleep guidance here:

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/room-sharing/

It is therefore normal, and what most families do, is to continue baby "daytime napping" right through until you go to bed, say 10-11pm. This doesn't mean baby is awake in the evening, but that the sleeping is happening downstairs with you, as with daytime naps. Then at the wake up that happens at around 10-11pm, give a feed if needed (to prolong the next stretch of sleep) and take upstairs to settle "in bed" as you go to bed too.

Can I work on night time sleeps first and then the naps once she mastered the night times?

There's no massive distinction. I think you're thinking far too deeply here. Develop good sleep habits for both nights and daytime naps. Always aim for more sleep, not less.

Bobbiblue · 10/06/2021 16:40

Oh thank you for your replies.

I'm regards to sleep. That's great. I let her sleep whenever then. You see all these guidance what they can and can't sleep. Nice to have clearance which causes overthinkin. Which means my poor kid has been sleep deprived due to listening to this advice.....

Great about the cycles, I will try that!! All good about rocking side cot. Will keep that in mind.

😂 She does sleep with me at all sleeps.... She goes bed... Embarrassing to say I go bed too. Slept from 830pm till 230am last night amazing 😁😍 I'm not greatest sleep deprived. Most I do is go get food and bring back to bed 🙈

I am thanking you so much, you don't know how much of a relief it is to talk to someone who knows what they talking about and when having questions can answer back the answer 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 10/06/2021 18:48

You're welcome, I'm glad to help.

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