Ds sleep is terrible - please help!

[lavenderandwisteria]

Arrgggghh.

Ds is 5.5 months and was a fairly good sleeper, waking once in the night usually. Daytime naps were tricker but were getting better and in any event the car or the pram or sling would work.

At the moment he is sleeping worse than he did as a newborn and I’m not exaggerating. He wakes every 45 minutes at night, it takes him forever to go to sleep, he wakes at night and won’t go back down.

So yesterday after a bad night - first nap was at 9 until 11. That’s very unusual.

Then he napped for an hour in the pram in the afternoon- about 2-3.

Then he napped for thirty minutes 6-630 in the evening. But it was nearly ten o clock at night before we managed to get him to sleep. Then he was awake at 11, 1145, 1, 3 and 4. At 4 I couldn’t get him back to sleep so was on the patio with him talking gently and eventually he nodded off at 5 then woke again at 545! DH then took him and he slept at 745 until 830. Again I’ve JUST got him to nap - nearly three hours later!

I am cutting him a lot of slack as he has a cold and cough and I know that must be hard and plus the heat is pretty oppressive but even so I’m really tired 😴 and it also means ds is a bit grumpy and difficult. He’s normally lovely.

Any tips? Or reassurance it’s a phase?

4 month sleep regression/development leap.

There are hundreds if not thousands of threads about it on here.

My daughter, normally a good sleeper, used to occasionally wake very frequently for a couple of nights in a row when she was younger- I always put it down to teething/cold etc. Give it a couple of days and if it continues then perhaps look at some sort of sleep training- might not be your things but worked very well with my daughter.

But he’s nearly six months navigating so it’s very delayed if it’s a four month one!

It’s been going on for over a week, since the start of his cold so I do think this may be the culprit because he prefers being upright - can breathe better, I suppose, but I can’t really hold him all night!

How do you feel about sleep training?
I did it with my daughter as I was exhausted, it was the best thing I ever did, she’s been great since then. After I’d done it, if she woke in the night I used to try leaving her and 9 times out of 10 she’d go back to sleep within 5 minutes. I always found that leaving her was the quickest way to get her back to sleep, the moment she saw me she would wake up even more and even if I calmed her down she would still cry the moment I put her down.
I know it’s not for everyone but it worked really well for us.

I don’t think it would work as smoothly but in any event if it is the cold it’s probably not a great time - bit mean to be ignoring him when he’s not well. But I would like him to sleep a bit better at night. Maybe I just do need to hold him, he’s obviously more comfortable that way.

No sleep after 4 if you want him to go down at 7.

His normal bedtime is 830. So not quite 7. Last nap normally around 530.

I still think it’s a bit late for a nap. At 6 months, mine were awake 7-7. They were napping 9-10 and 12.30-2-30 and that got them through to 7.

It looks like your boy is struggling to resettle after each 45 min sleep cycle.

Hmm but then his wake windows would be very long - I’ve read that it should be 2-3 hours at 6 months (and he isn’t quite there) - I can certainly try making the last nap a bit later but he does get very shouty when tired so the evenings aren’t much fun!

My experience, when DC are ill, everything goes to shit. And you end up with messed up naps and that impacts the night etc. I would suggest waiting and surviving till he's through this cold, get naps back on track and then see. Might take a week or two.

I think you are right about that keha!

Some children just don't like to sleep through!
The sooner you lower your expectations the better for your mental health. Sleep when you can and take it in turns with DH. DC will outgrow it eventually but there's literally nothing you can do to help knit the stretches of sleep together other than stay consistent with bedtime routines.

Yes, but he was a good sleeper and it’s gone to pot a bit - I know some babies are just unsettled and it’s so hard but there does seem to be a reason here - I hope it’s the cold, really!

Has he started solids yet? I wonder if he’s cut back on his milk feeds when he still needs to be getting his nutrition from milk until you introduce protein?

No solids yet although possibly starting soon.

Sounds totally normal to me. He's poorly and needs comfort from his mummy.

You might be interested to read up on the possums approach to sleep. It focuses on maximising night time sleep and doesn't do wake windows etc. It is very gentle and all about optimising sleep rather than training. I really like it personally as I wasn't comfortable with traditional sleep training methods as the research shows they don't stop waking, they just stop crying for you, which didn't sit comfortably with me, but each to their own obviously