Is this normal

[Mazzatron]

I get such anxiety going to bed with my new born (4 weeks old). He's got colic and hates laying on his back. I stay downstairs with him as long as I can so he doesn't wake my eldest son (2.5). Then we come upstairs around 11:30 and spend the night with me rocking him and cuddling him til he is asleep. I put him in his Moses and he sleeps for 20-30 mins then starts making loads of weird grunting / squealing / loud breathing noises, then crying and we start over. I'm getting very little sleep.

It's so stressful / is this normal? My first son wasn't like this he would sleep 2-3 hours on his back at this age. Midwife said he's still very young and GP might not take seriously yet.

Has anyone else had a similar experience and when is it likely to improve? He is on comfort formula and infacol. He just really likes to sleep upright on someone's chest but obviously that's not safe over night.

Help!

Research safe co sleeping to allow you to get some rest to at least think straight.

Unfortunately, it sounds completely normal. They grow out of it but that's not really comfort to you now. It's called the fourth trimester and is all about the getting used to being out in the world and seperate from you.
It's really tough but you're doing well, it doesn't last forever

@Eachpeachpears thank you. I had researched safe co sleeping in the first couple of weeks we were doing it most nights after some attempt to settle him in his Moses. Then we had a visit from the health visitor who told me a 7 week old baby on her caseload had died the day before due to cosleeping. It really spooked me. I don't know the circumstances, I was too horrified to ask.

It's some comfort to hear you think it's forth trimester stuff and not reflux or something more medical wrong with him.

Thank you

Sounds a lot like my DD at that age.

In the end I just let her sleep on my chest. I started off trying to stay awake all night with her there, and catch up when my DH had her for a few hours at the start and end of the night. Eventually I came to terms with falling asleep with her on me. I know it's not in the safe sleep guidelines but sometimes you have to use your own judgement. I was personally pretty confident that I would only sleep lightly with her on me, and would be extremely unlikely to roll over or let her slip. I figured it was safer and better for her that we both got some rest. That's obviously a personal judgement call though.

@3ormorecharacters ok thank you. I do feel that I'd sleep really lightly with him on me. Did you proper yourself up with pillows or anything? When roughly did your daughter grow out of this? So reassuring to know other people have been through it too. Some nights my husband has his on his chest downstairs from 8ish - 11 so I can get some sleep in the bank.

Would you raise the mattress/cot slightly so that he is on a slant. I night nanny newborns who do this and it really helped. Also swaddling helped massively.

@Mazzatron yes I prop myself up to about 45 degrees. I usually lace my fingers around her to keep my hands in place.

She stopped solely sleeping like this when she was I think around 8 weeks old. Thinking back it was getting a swaddle called a Miracle Blanket which helped but also I think her digestion just calmed down a bit around then. I'm afraid at 5 months we still spend around 4-6am most nights like this though! By that point of the night it's the only way she will settle and stay asleep. I figure it won't last forever though. She obviously needs the comfort, and that's what I'm here for!

Please please please do safe co sleeping rather than propping yourself up as mentioned above. I'm pleased it worked well for pp, but if your health visitors story spooked you, then doing something as unsafe as sleeping with them on your chest. Also, your health visitor should not have said that to you, that's extremely unprofessional and I would make a complaint. Research shows safe co sleeping is just as safe as putting baby in their cot, due to the rythmic breathing they can hear from you

Swaddle

A swaddle makes it easier to put baby down. It dulls external stimulation and controls the startle reflex.

You don't need anything fancy to swaddle with. A flat for sheet cut in half would do. Or a giant muslin square. Or just a normal bed sheet cut up