Baby hates his crib

[emmacrose]

My DS is 4 1/2 weeks old, and will only sleep if he's being held.
We have a Moses basket and a next to me crib but he won't have anything to do with either of them.
As soon as we put him down he just thrashes around and screams. We've tried swaddling but he hated that too.
At the moment OH and I take it in turns to stay up holding him during the night but we're exhausted!
Has anyone been through the same and found a solution??
I'm thinking about trying a Purflo Sleep Tight, but it's a lot of money to spend if that doesn't work either....

Perfectly normal I'm afraid, though I know it's hard! Mine never slept in her crib, co-sleeping was the thing that saved us. I know it's not for everyone but it can be done safely, read up on the Lullaby Trust page.

Please don't use a Purflo at night, they're really not safe unless you're awake and supervising. They're OK for daytime naps with you in the room.

This is just how many newborns are. No matter what you spend he will prefer to be held. Could you co sleep? It does get better in time(I know it’s exhausting though).

Yeah.. I wish this was plastered over every billboard everywhere.

The idea that babies sleep in cots after just being placed there is just wrong in the most part, I found it hard coming to terms with that I thought we were broken.

Totally normal though, they are literally designed to need you touching them, to stay alive. It will get better but it is the depths of despair. Keep taking it in turns, that is how we got through do one half of the night each or something.

Sadly babies are not aware of safe sleep guidelines. With my first I'd get her asleep, put her in the crib and hope she'd stay asleep longer than half an hour. With the second even this failed and I had to co sleep. She slept holding onto my arm and I wore cardigans so that I didn't need the duvet higher than my waist. I remain grateful that she survived it.

I co slept with first and now with my second for this reason. I do the old hug and role like Chandler from Friends does with Janice! 😂

In a similar position with my 5 week old. We’ve had some success in the last few days through a combination of a love to dream suit (her hands are up by her head), putting her down asleep after a feed, and a dummy. She sleeps in the bassinet of her pram (it’s an overnight sleeper one) so we rock that back and forwards for a few minutes when we put her down.

Swaddle & Dummy

These are the best tools possible for independant sleep (ie baby sleeping separately to you, not being held/cuddled/fed).

We've tried swaddling but he hated that too.

This means your baby needs a swaddle. A calm baby doesn't need a swaddle. The swaddle is there to calm down a hysterical baby by dulling external stimulation and recreating womb-like conditions. It also calms the startle reflex making a bit easier to put baby down.

Dummy allows for comfort sucking, but in an independent way. It's physically impossible to cry while simultaneously sucking. Without a dummy or feeding to sleep, baby may well cry/grumble while going to sleep.

Try using a sleeping bag, feed him in it and then put him down asleep. It’s less restrictive than a swaddle but means he’s staying nice and cozy. Just make sure his head can’t fit through the sleeping bag opening.

DD2 hated her Moses basket and wasn't keen on the next to me initially, we found that she settled better when DH was asleep at the side of her and not me.

The purflo saved my sanity but they aren’t technically endorsed by lullaby trust.

With that being said, I think if I had followed LT to the letter I would never have slept again. So it is a balancing act. There have been no cases of SIDS or cor death using a sleep nest as far as I know.

@emmacrose it’s exhausting, isn’t it?! 😅😓 mine was the exact same. It will get easier!

Please don’t use any kind of nest for unsupervised sleep, they’re not safe.

Have you tried the Love To Dream swaddle? Our baby HATED a traditional swaddle but the love to dream allows them to have their hands up in a natural position but keeps their startle reflex under control. It allowed us to get small amounts of sleep at night.
During the day for naps he was having none of it and would nap being held or in his pram while out for a walk so I just went with it and done lots of walking and cuddling him for naps 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not very practical but they’re only small for a short time so I just made the most of the cuddles!

Has your partner tried introducing dummy? I had no success myself for 2 weeks and then he tried and it worked at once :D