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15 mo Night Waking - help!

10 replies

BeanyBops · 03/06/2021 11:41

I am so close to the end of my tether and I could really use some help.

My 15mo has never been a great sleeper. She will only sleep at home in her cot, most of her life she would only sleep on us as well. Never lots of sleep during the day. When at home with us it's one 90 minute nap, but when she is at nursery/grandparents (3 days per week) it can be 45 minutes or on bad days even less. But she wakes up happy and cheerful and makes it through to bedtime which used to be 6.30 but the last few months it's been 7 because that's when she falls asleep.

Unfortunately she's always had the habit of night waking, anywhere from midnight to 2am, and this will easily be for 2-3 hours. This habit sometimes disappears and we get excited thinking it's over, but then randomly it will come back and persist for days or weeks at a time.

We keep her room dark when she wakes up, we don't engage, we don't talk or play, just hold her in various positions or the cot (rubbing her back) until she falls asleep. She puts on a good show of being sleepy and wanting to sleep during this time, but it just takes hours before she will actually give in and fall asleep.

We didn't sleep train when she was younger in large part because I had significant pnd and couldn't bear it, I just wanted to do whatever it took to get her to sleep.

She has had five teeth coming through since mid April and two of those are molars that are only just breaking the gums.

She has has multiple coughs and colds since starting nursery that wake her and keep her awake, and she has just come down with another one.

I've also read there is a 15-18month sleep regression that could be playing in.

I don't know what to do! I'm seriously considering sleep training but I don't know if that will solve the provlem, particularly as her current bad spell could be due to teething or regression. All I know is I'm on the edge, dreading the nights, and I need more sleep!

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 03/06/2021 19:43

If you are not planning on sleep training, then cosleeping will get you the most rest. Either that or a sidecar cot (normal cot with one side removed and butted up to your bed with matching mattress heights).

If you do sleep train, you need to look at the way you get her to go to sleep and change that. She needs to learn to go from awake to asleep in the cot, lying down.

BeanyBops · 03/06/2021 20:40

Thank you, yes I am thinking seriously about the Ferber method. Is that likely to help?

I am told it's not a good idea to sleep train while they're poorly or teething though so I think I'll have to wait a little bit.

OP posts:
FATEdestiny · 03/06/2021 23:24

What is your start point? How do you currently get her from being fully awake to fully asleep?

LillyMac500 · 15/06/2021 12:05

@BeanyBops are you still having the same problem? We’ve unfortunately had this issue with our 19m old DD for MONTHS. It was constant for weeks on end, then we did some controlled crying which helped a little, and she’s had spells of sleeping through, but now seems to be back to long night wakings for no rhyme or reason. We’ve tried everything, just wondered if you had any success?

BeanyBops · 15/06/2021 14:00

Hi @LillyMac500 so sorry to hear that! Yes things seem to have improved on their own... One day things just changed and she seemed to start sleeping better than ever before! I followed her lead and tried leaving her to self settle a couple of times and so far it's working really well! We put her down, walk out, and she puts herself to sleep. She often sleeps through the night now without crying once. I'm trying not to get my hopes up because we've had 'better sleep' periods before and they've not lasted, but I'm absolutely making the most of it! With hindsight I think she was going through the regression which can apparently be a few months either side of 18months. Perhaps you're still in the regression? Flowers for you because it's the hardest thing being awake for hours every night.

OP posts:
LillyMac500 · 16/06/2021 09:38

Thanks @BeanyBops, glad to hear things are better. For us, feels like we’ve been in a constant regression since DD turned 1 😩 Last night was what we’d class as an ok night as she woke a couple of times before we went to bed, a quick back rub helped, then awake and screaming for 10 minutes around midnight. That’s a good night, night before she was awake from 2-430. Honestly cannot figure it out and it’s now into month 7 of this. The mantra of ‘this too shall pass’ isn’t really getting me through anymore 🙈

BeanyBops · 16/06/2021 10:16

@LillyMac500 no I imagine it isn't. Would you consider sleep training in case that helps? It's always been my last resort but I came close to doing it. Really helps a lot of families.

OP posts:
LillyMac500 · 16/06/2021 11:13

We did sleep train and it helped for a while, and we had some other issues with actually going to bed, which is a lot better, but it only seems to work for a wee while and she reverts back to the split nights. Honestly don’t think we’ve had a run of anymore than a week of good nights since October last year 🙈 It’s a shame cause this is absolutely the reason we won’t have another baby now 😕

BeanyBops · 16/06/2021 11:25

That's how we feel. Sleep has just been so hard, but so has everything else to be honest! I really hope that your little one grows out of it soon. Someone told me the other day how much paying for a sleep consultant helped them, I don't know whether that's an option for you?

OP posts:
LillyMac500 · 18/06/2021 09:54

Hi @BeanyBops, sorry just noticed your reply.
I’ve considered a sleep consultant a few times, but I’m not sure what else they would suggest that we haven’t tried. I’m waiting on an NHS one getting back to me, but having looked at their online pages, I don’t know what they’ll suggest either.
Last night was another horrendous night. Woke up at 930 after going down at 7, didn’t go back to sleep til after 1230 then woke again at 4 😭 I think nursery is part of the issue, although she was a rubbish sleeper before she started anyway. She loves it there but generally only sleeps 45 mins at 1130 - which I think is too early and too short xx

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