Toddler nightmares - please help!

[Hanster85]

Please can someone give me some advice.

We are having an absolute nightmare with my 2.5 year olds sleep. I don't think the hot weather is helping at all.

On Saturday night, she woke in the night - at about the 12 (which she sometimes does) and brought her into my room. Usually she just goes straight back to sleep and that's that.

She came in & was talking about ants in her bed and in her hair, she seemed to have had a bad dream. I turned the lights on and showed her that everything was ok & she eventually calmed down and fell asleep at about 2am. One hour later, she woke again - absolutely hysterical, hyperventilating - jumping at every little thing (the pipes, bird noises, anything!) she was clung to me like a little koala bear, absolutely beside herself.

I kept calm and just kept reassuring her that everything was ok, she's safe and it was time for sleep. I'd put a night light on. She was talking about a little girl in the corner waving at her!

At around 5am, she finally fell asleep on top of me, as she wouldn't sleep on the bed. I was so exhausted, I just let her and I when she was asleep, just rolled her on to the bed and she slept through.

Next night, slept fine.

Then on Monday night, it was even worse - it was a battle getting her down for sleep, hysterical, saying she didn't want the bed, she didn't like it, wouldn't take her comforter, just clung to me. It took two hours to get her to sleep.

Then she woke again at around 1am, hysterical, wouldn't lie in bed. Clung to me - shouting and talking about buggies. I tried EVERYTHING to get her to sleep. Decided to take her back through to her room as she seemed to be scared of the bed again. Continued until about 5am, when she finally went to sleep. I went to work today on 2 hours sleep and have been exhausted all day,

It was awful seeing her life this, she's usually good at going to bed. I usually lie with her for half an hour, she has a bottle of water and falls asleep. This is so unlike her and is distressing for both of us.

She had done the same tonight and my husband has taken over as I just can't do it again - I'm so tired! I can just hear he screaming 'MUMMY' and feel terrible. She's usually such a happy settled little girl. She had her moments but doesn't have massive tantrums ordinarily, so this is quite shocking. I need to sort it out though for all of us and have no idea what to do. I am so worried about her, I just want to know how normal this is! I'm a first time mum and my friends with kids the same age haven't experienced this.

Any advice really appreciated!!

P.s I am normally happy to co-sleep when needed and never been a problem for either of us.

Ahh the wee soul. I’d first check that there’s nothing tiny aggravating her unexpectedly in her bed (grains of sand from a sandpit, change of washing powder etc) and then just keep doing as you are doing - heat definitely doesn’t help.
Part of our family history is my adult daughter’s epic three year old nightmares...black bears were in her room. I would show her there weren’t any but she was absolutely adamant. I finally worked out that actually one night she had half-woken in the dark and felt her teddy bear but because she couldn’t see it it had turned in to “black bears”. Good luck.

She sounds a bit feverish....calpol?

Both of mine had night terrors (not just bad dreams, but full on terrified sobbing) - it is a horrible phase, but it is a phase.

Second above that keep everything as routine as you can, check through for anything that could be irritating, or new security lights flashing, noises disrupting sleep, and then keep on with regular bedtimes.

A breakthrough for us was giving the youngest here own special dream catcher (bright red plastic slotted serving spoon from the kitchen) which only let the good dreams through and snagged the bad ones, if any bad dreams did get through it got cleaned as 8t must have got bunged up. DH thought I was nuts, but if it works at 4am I wasn't questioning it!

I just saw she mentioned buggies, are there moths or spiders in her room? Might be worth doing a thorough spring clean and air out.

Ah that sounds really difficult for you all. One of my boys experienced this. Night terrors. Clung to me so I had red marks on neck and screamed, eyes wide open, at something behind me. Sometimes really prolonged and sometimes short.

It was a phase, albeit went off and on for two years. No rhyme nor reason for it and he had no recollection the next day.

Every child is different but what worked for us was to bring him into a softly lit room, turn on the tv softly and start to read a book to him whilst comforting him and saying 'its just a dream, you're safe, mum is here'. Read to him & pointed out pictures in his favourite book. He would eventually be semi-awake, calm down, snuggle into me and I would gently put him back to sleep. Advice originally was not to wake him however this didn't work in our case - a gentle soft distracting semi-wake up did.

He never once recalled any event.

I hope you're able to find more peaceful nights.

Also, I climbed into his bed from time to time (after a first episode) so on the small amount of times he had two episodes I could catch it early to comfort him and get him back to sleep before he woke his brother. Not a long term solution but worked.

It could be developmental, she's learning that she is a separate being from her parents, etc. Also, as I think someone mentioned, be sure she's not overly warm as that can cause nightmares.

Since you don't mind co-sleeping, that might be the way to go for a while. I'm sure she'll feel much safer sleeping in mom and dad's bed and maybe then you can all get a good night's sleep.

My son has had terrible dreams since young, I have worked a lot with him on changing his perception about what he can see out there at night. Night terrors are very scary, apparently, most of the children don't remember the dreams in the morning, my son unfortunately did. I noticed however that the older he is the less he remembers. When he was eight he wrote a story for children who are afraid of the dark, the book is being published now by Pegasus :) we managed to get something positive out of the experience but it is a horrible thing to go through for both children and parents. The name of the book is The Witching Hour by Riku Fryderyk. Maybe the book could help to open a conversation with your child about their dreams and help them think about them differently? Sending best wishes, Riku's Mum